Support System - A Must Have This Christmas!

What does "Support System" mean to you?

The dictionary defines it as:

A network of personal or professional contacts available to a person or organization for practical or moral support when needed.

This topic came up in conversation recently among a few friends and family members. I’d like to share some of my thoughts on it, as well as the collective thoughts of, well, my support system!

Each of us has our own challenges and triumphs. They don’t all look alike, but we all have them. My own challenges may not seem as great as someone else’s, but they’re mine nonetheless, and they require some effort and commitment on my part. They aren’t meant to be a reflection or a commentary on anyone else. They aren’t meant to minimize or magnify anyone else’s challenges or triumphs. They simply aren’t about anyone else. They tend to be selfish that way.

Supporting someone in their journey means putting aside your own opinions and simply lending an ear now and then. Really listening and trying to understand without being judgemental, without inserting your own approval or disapproval. Then perhaps simply offering an experience of your own, or a word of encouragement, maybe cheering the triumphs a bit. It seems simple enough, but as humans, we have a tendency to mirror our own thoughts, feelings, issues, perceptions onto everything that comes within 2 feet of us. It's not always easy to put aside our own thoughts and feelings and simply "support". We often find a way to make it about ourselves, don't we? (my hand is raised here!)

I’ll tell you this though - having a great support system is not only critical to success, it’s an exercise in humility, gratitude, and an opportunity to learn how to pay it forward and be a support system for someone who asks it of you. Through seeing what good support looks like (and not so good support), I’m learning how to be more supportive myself. I see my own shortcomings; my own habits of  being judgemental, overly sensitive, a wee bit critical, and selfish with my time and energy. Oh! Also perhaps a bit self absorbed, self-loathing at times, or maybe more like "equal parts" self-congratulatory and self-loathing (why do I feel that I could go on and on? This is messed up!)

If someone asks for my support now, however, I will give it (as long as it’s legal and not hurtful to anyone!). To minimize or discount someone’s journey as trivial or unnecessary, is to minimize or discount them, as a person.

If you feel you have to justify your efforts to anyone…they are not in your support system. If you feel that you are not being heard or understood…find someone else to talk to. And when you learn what support looks like, offer it to anyone who asks, and even those who don’t.

Last Friday's blog entry about my weight loss journey will be my last on that topic (but I will let you know when I've reached my goal). I’ve decided to go underground -just me and my support system- for the remainder of that trip. But I will continue to blog about things that are important to me - fitness, health, FOOD, adventures, family, friends, stories, poetry, whatever! : )

Happy trails!