July 20th was my last blog entry. Hmmmm....tap tap tap...hmmmmm..... (figuring out what to write and wondering why I've got nothin'.)
Here are a few thoughts that randomly float into my mind. What better place to jot down random, floaty thoughts than a blog?
Of course thought #1 is my obsession du jour:
1) I'm tired of yo-yo dieting.
By that, I mean, yo-yo-ing from No Carb to Weight Watchers, to a combination of the two, with little, if any results. Then giving up for a week and trying my own "Yoga-Diet" plan of "celebrating my body" and "eating intuitively", only to discover that the way I "celebrate my body" is to lounge around all day, admiring my legs, while ignoring my growing waistline. And "intuitive eating", well let's just say that my body "intuitively" wants cheese. Lots of it.
I'm in a tug of war with myself - hating to suffer defeat on the scale, but also trying to just "be".
*sigh*
Apparently, it's not like me to just "be". I've got to...to...what? I don't know, but something. Improve somehow. "Become Thin" doesn't seem like too lofty a goal and as much as I would love to give it up, it's been alluding me for so long, that now I'm just mad. I am tenacious if nothing else. I will beat a dead horse deader. (What a terrible saying! Who came up with that? And why am I not deleting it from this post?)
I remember, before I quit smoking for good, I told myself, "My GOD! I do NOT want to spend my ENTIRE life trying to quit smoking! It's miserable. Just do it for God's sake and be done with it!"
So I did.
Now I'm thinking, "My GOD! I do NOT want to spend my ENTIRE life trying to lose weight! It's miserable. Just do it for God's sake and be done with it!"
Quitting smoking was easier....and that took 20 years.
So I think...being that I'm going on vacation for a week...I will just "be" for a week. Try it on for size. Give it the ol' college try. Re-assess (and maybe weigh in) when I return. I will make one promise to myself - I'm going to be reasonable. No junk/garbage food, because I know how that makes me feel. But that's the only rule.
2) Thought number 2 is that I really wish I had more going on in my head right now. But I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Like my body, I'm also trying to improve my mind. Not by being smarter (that train left the station), but by opening it. Opening my mind to wisdom, clarity, compassion, etc. Ah...maybe this is why I obsess on weight and diet. It's easier.
Anyhoo - I'm totally into making bracelets now. I'm calling them "Buddha Bracelets":
Each one comes with a little note referencing an aspect of the Noble Eight-Fold Path. They don't have a clasp, but I suppose you could put one on yourself if you really want to. Rob was trying to get me to put clasps on them. I had to explain that I purposely want them to be "Impermanent" - they will fall off, break, or get annoying and be cut off by the wearer. Impermanent by design!
Oooh! Maybe I should call them "Impermanent by Design" instead of "Buddha Bracelets"? What do you think?
I have time for a few more quick thoughts:
3) I want to get a pair of overalls. Probably lame, I know. They're so 90's. But I fondly remember the lack of muffin top in those things. Just brilliant.
4) Oooh! I love geocaching!
5) My stomach feels "itchy", what's for lunch?
6) This is so lame...am I gonna publish this post? Stupid question.
There - those 6 thoughts are the entire contents of my head at this.very.moment. FASCINATING!
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