Here I Am!

May 29th is the last time I blogged, really?

I have been so busy. Work is pretty slow right now, but we've been having a lot of summer fun!

My lap top doesn't allow me to blog anymore (don't ask me why). Today I finally figured out I can use my husband's computer!

My horse/mistress demands all of my spare time and change! We've been progressing along pretty slowly and steadily. I'm very proud of her performance in our first ever schooling show in July! No big wins, but she did everything I asked, exactly how I asked her to do it. She is brilliant, I don't care that she's not a Quarter Horse and is outmatched in athleticism and brawn. Her brains are what I love the most, and she's got them in spades! And heart. Plus she looks very pretty and fancy doing what she does. I like pretty and fancy horses.

Rob and I just got back from a 10 day motorcycle trip up to Seattle and back. Wow, that was fun! I feel like such a wanderer, an adventurer! Yet perfectly happy to stick (fairly) close to home. I've never had the desire to travel abroad. The best adventures to me are the ones slightly familiar and safe but with an element of whimsy and risk, and definitely the less planned out the better. I guess I'm a "tentative adventurer"! Long motorcycle rides are perfect! A little bit CrAzY! But not too much so. Just like me! : )

We had a great time with friends and family!

The only dietary disaster of my vacation is actually a blessing in disguise. I eat fairly healthfully, and even though I haven't lost any weight, I've been feeling pretty healthy and sort of "on my way" (any day now.....). I know I'm carb sensitive, like many people are. Probably a little higher on the scale than average, so I tend to avoid over doing it.

Well, for 10 days I ate more bread, crackers and chips that I have in a long time. As a result, about a day before our trip was over, I started to have really bad stomach cramps with a little bit of nausea. I thought it was food poisoning but Rob and I ate the same things. We got home and for a week I felt ill - cramping, indigestion, heartburn, etc. We went camping the following weekend and I kept on shoveling crackers and cheese into my mouth. On the way home we stopped at Black Bear Diner. I ordered biscuits and gravy, which is a guilty pleasure. I took one bite and realized then and there that not only was I about to be sick right there on the counter, but that I just couldn't do this any more. That it was this kind of food that was making me sick. The waiter asked me if the food was ok. I said it was ok. I mumbled something about having a late night...

I started the Dukan Diet that day. Within 24 hours, all symptoms were gone. I'm on day three of the "Attack" phase which is pure protein - lean meat, dairy, and oat bran galettes (my new bread). No fruit, no vegetables, and no starch. None.

Tomorrow I add in vegetables every other day until I reach my target weight, which Dr. Dukan and I both agree is 145 lbs. (I'm 165 now). I've lost 5 already, which I know is water, but that's also a sign of my carb sensitivity. The entire time on vacation, from the moment we rolled into Bend, I couldn't take my wedding ring off. I thought it was elevation (haha), such denial. I'd been eating bread and crap for a few days leading up to vacation. Sort of in a "pre-vacation-oh-hell-I-give-up-already" celebratory way.

It's OVER.

We'll see what happens. I'm not going to blab the results, or lack thereof, all over facebook every day. My diet is a choice resulting from a combination of physical and psychological elements that are personal and I don't feel like celebrating it or defending it or discussing it with anyone unless they're interested. In which case I'll spill my guts, just ask anyone!

When I do reach my goal weight, what then? Why do I need to? Am I trying to lose weight? Or just feel better? Eating to feel good might result in weight loss. It seems like that's the idea. Will I be happier? I can barely remember what it felt like to weight 145. I think I enjoyed clothes shopping more. Being naked was more fun. Being in a swim suit wasn't even "thought worthy". But was I "happier? I don't know. I'm kind of excited to feel whatever it will feel like. If it's good, I'll shout it from the roof tops. If it's not, I'll eat whatever I want until I get fat again and lay this thing to rest once and for all.

See you on the roof top!