The Good News Is....

I have 8 full months before swimsuit season.

I didn't even bother weighing in or blogging last Friday because I knew I was up a pound or two. Then we went camping and ate and drank...a lot. So it just got worse.

As I mentioned before, I have 8 full months before swimsuit season and instead of waiting until January to make a resolution to "Get fit and trim, for real this time", I'm going to start October with a new kind of resolution. I'll call it my "New Revolution Resolution".

You know that old saying: "If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten"? Well, I feel like I'm living that adage. I'm like a hamster on a hamster wheel. Working hard and going nowhere. I'm exhausted. I don't know why I keep doing the same thing but expecting a different result. I'm going to try something different (big surprise there).

That something is...."Nothing". It's all the rage.

I read in an article that recent studies have shown that the best way to stay trim and fit is to make sure you never gain weight to begin with. Losing weight is really that hard. The next article I read mentioned a new study that shows that tracking what we eat is an excellent way to become aware of what we're eating and to keep us accountable, however it often causes undue stress which can lead to feelings of guilt and over-eating. It's a great tool for people who aren't really cognizant of their eating habits, and where they go wrong.

The thing is, I know where I go wrong. I don't need to shout it from the roof tops! (ie write it down) I don't have to track to "become aware of my eating habits", I already know my eating habits. I track consistently for a few days, staying "accountable" and in the "guilt free" points zone, eating mostly healthfully.  Then I'll over-indulge, feel too guilty to track it, and, well, since my tracker is now completely falsified, I'll just give up for a few days. During the "giving up" period, it's a free for all. It's a "break" so I better take advantage of it. This is the hamster wheel. This keeps me at at or near my current weight, but never allows me to lose anything substantial.

I decided to start a one woman revolution and just do "Nothing". It's kind of like one of those "sit ins" they did in the 60's. Those hippies were on to something. They could do nothing but sit (strategically) and change the world forever. I'm going to start doing Nothing (strategically) today!

My hope is that by doing "Nothing", I can reset my body and mind back to the factory default setting. What would that look like? What is my default setting? I think it's me enjoying food but not thinking overmuch about it. Eating to nourish my body, not to punish or reward. No guilt trippy binges followed by head trippy quinoa and kale fasts.

I decided to try doing "Nothing" today. Just...you know...whatevs. Food...meh. I was surprised with how "less fixated" on food I am already. Instead of starting the day in a slight panic worrying that I'll blow my points by lunch and I'll be done for, I just ate. I had yogurt and fruit for breakfast, a sandwich and apple chips for lunch (omg...a sandwich! With bread! And CHEESE on it), and I'm having warm salmon nicoise salad for dinner. I snacked on some strawberries a little while ago. It's all I had in the fridge. I'm not panicked AT ALL. I'm not tracking, I'm not counting, I'm just eating like a normal person. I feel liberated. And also super cool and hip.

I'm going to just do "this" for a while and not worry about it. I love Weight Watchers, and I firmly believe that it works. But I just need a break. I want to not think about food "in that way" anymore and just live my life and eat the healthy foods I love, and occasionally the foods I love to indulge in. And if I stay the same weight, it won't be because I'm a  failure. If I don't lose weight, it's because I'm 43 and I let myself gain 20 pounds and now I'm eating healthfully but not starving.

We'll see how it goes. I'm excited to start this revolution!