Who's That Lady? (No Really, Who The F#&% Is That Lady?!)

Is there a way to listen to this song while reading this post? Isley Bros

(I think you have to open it, then open another window to read my blog while listening. Sorry, that's the extent of the tech support you can expect from Fitwife)

I was getting out of the shower this morning, singing this song to myself, because it's sort of my "anthem", when all of a sudden the phone rings....

Two things happened:

1) Partially dressed, I flew out of the bathroom into the hall where I was savagely accosted by the large closet mirror. Perhaps it was the sunlight streaming through the skylight at an odd and unflattering angle, or the fact that the sunlight was just so....bright, but I literally heard the record scratch to a halt in my head! (if you are playing it, please stop music abruptly here)

2) Horrified, I turned away from the mirror and as I shuffled (lumbered? jiggled?) awkwardly down the hall to the phone, still damp and dumbfounded, I realized that (chuckle) all this time (eye roll followed by chuckle), it's been my clothing keeping all of my parts in place! (chuckle followed by unabashed weeping). Without the secure casing of cotton - I'm a mass of jello.

After speaking with the person on the other end of the line (no, I don't blame you client lady. I hope you find the home of your dreams), barely keeping it together, still dripping, still wearing just my unmentionables, still reeling from the shock of the "full body skylight catastrophe", it hit me...I need to do something.

Welcome to Fitclub!

The first rule of Fitclub....never talk about Fitclub! (wrong club, I just like saying that)

No, this club we can talk about. I emailed and texted my neighbor/girlfriends to see "Who's up for getting up at the crack of freaking dawn-I-don't-care-about-sleep-anymore-'cause-I-just-saw-myself-practically-naked-in-a-full-length-mirror-with-sun-streaming-down-on-me and power walking three miles a day!? Signed, Lardass"

Well - "Junkindatruck" responded that she was definitely interested in talking about it. My other partner in crime has gone MIA. Helloooooo Kristin?!?

Now, I almost texted my friend back with a long winded diatribe about how we "should really be kinder to ourselves and not call ourselves names, what was I thinking, etc. etc.?" but realized: a) how long it would take for me to text that, and b) I don't think there is anything wrong with a little self-deprecating humor (see whole, entire, greatly exaggerated post above). It sure got my butt in gear!

Welcome to Fitclub! (I just really like saying that...If you were in my head listening, it would sound just like Brad Pitt!)