Just For Fun!

Oh dear lord, some of the things I Google.....

I saw a Facebook post about "something something classy woman" and it made me think...what IS a classy woman?  Is it someone who is well educated? I don't think so. I've met some pretty well educated woman who don't seem particularly classy to me. Is it someone who is "tres fashionable"? (or speaks fluent French?) No, I don't think so. How about money? Can money buy class? ha ha ha! (that's all I have to say about that).

I wasted a lof of my youth trying to get in trouble. I always seemed to get away with murder (not literally), but I wanted so badly to be a bad girl. I didn't want to be the one the cops always let go with a "find yourself some nicer friends" warning. I wanted to be hauled off to jail. Throw me in the can! I love that song about Folsom...and the prison there...and whatnot.

I smoked Marlborough Reds and partied a LOT. Just to prove a point (now I wish I had done a bit less of both, not so fun being bad ass looking in my 40's).

I like to cuss. I say "Fuck" all the time, for many reasons: 1) It's fun 2) It's shocking 3) I'm a bad ass.

My ex-husband once said; "Eline, it just doesn't seem like that word should come out of your mouth!" So I said it even more. Why shouldn't it come out of my mouth? I'm dangerous!

Anyway, my mom, who always has THE best wisdom EVER (she has given me three gems in my lifetime. They are sacred, I live my life by them, they are all I need). One of them was: "Oh Eline, LET people think of you what they will....My goodness, when in the world would it be a disadvantage for people to hold you in higher regard that you deserve?" (HA HA, I'm pretty sure she didn't use those words exactly, but you get the idea). I think I had been complaining that people thought I was a "goody two-shoes" or something (I know! What the hell was my problem?).

So here is my awesome Google find. Copied From "Ehow", classy typos and all:

Instructions

How to Identify a Classy Woman

1 There is no classier woman than a woman who spends time with herself for grooming purposes. Look at a lady from head to toe. Her hair should look like it's been brushed and styled. It should not look like she just got out of bed or have been lying around on the couch all day (like some untalented stylists have lead some women to believe).

First of all, if I'm spending "time with myself"....it's not for grooming purposes. And that's probably why I have "bedhead".

2 Look at the hands. They should be clean and groomed. The nails can be short or long. They can be polished or unpolished. The polish should not be chipping off.

Oops.

3 Look at the feet, if they are exposed. They should be clean and smooth. There should not be the appearance of a light "pie crust" around the feet. The nails should be short. They can be polished or unpolished. The polish should not be chipping off.

What the fuck is a pie crust???

4 The lady should have a smooth and flowing gait. They should not walk hunched over. They should not drag and slide their feet. Their head should be up and not starring down. Their arms should be close to their body as they walk.

Omg, is a non-classy lady Sasquatch? Do people really slide their feet and flail their arms around when they walk? I wanna see that! Am I horse? What is my 'gait'? This is hillarious!


5 A classy woman will always leave you with the impression of "I wonder what...". However, if a woman has a nice body and she feels she has to practically be undressed to make sure you see her (The ole if you got it flaunt it mentality), not only is she not classy, she is insecure. This is evident by the fact that when she goes to meet your mother, she tries to dress like a librarian.

But what if I look better naked???

6 A classy woman will always leave the privilege of seeing her assets to the special man in her life. You must ask yourself, does a woman have to advertise to every man on the planet what her body looks like? If so, is there anything special she's reserving for the special man in her life to see?

Speechless. Should we wear Burkas so as not to "advertise" what we look like? Try telling that to clothing designers (I can't name any, I'm not classy enough).

7 Look for confidence in a classy woman. They make men wonder. They treat themselves as if they are royalty. A classy woman understands that if she doesn't treat herself as if she's special, she shouldn't expect a man to treat her as if she's special.

I'm a fucking queen, are you kidding me? Oh my god, go fuck yourself!

Now I know why I don't want to be "classy".