Honesty & Effort

I'm still thinking about this blog entry, as I completely and blatantly cheat on my 2nd week of Weight Watchers. But at least I'm being honest about it! My effort-o-meter is just reading a little low this week (it's, you know, the week before that week!)

So in true Under-Achiever fashion - instead of writing a new blog entry, I've decided to just rename an older one that I never posted and call it good!

Here it is:


Rob and I were sitting out back the other night, enjoying the warm evening and "talking about stuff". The subject of art came up, more specifically, the differences between people who make a living at their art, and the people who do not. Is it choice? Circumstance? Effort? I think all of the above.

I think that people who make a living at their art (and I make no distinction between those who barely get by, from those who would be considered "well above the poverty line") do so for many reasons:

1) Their art is their life - they really don't have any other way of making a living that they would enjoy, and so there is no other option. They've successfully avoided the "cubicle" for so long (or any other 9-5 type job), that the thought of having to go back to, or begin, that kind of life is the fire needed to push themselves to succeed.
2) They have "gone without" for so long, i.e. sacrificed steady income, health insurance, a certain stability, etc. that they really don't miss those things that are critical to many of the rest of us.
3) They have the ability to self-promote. Successfully supporting yourself as an artist requires an enormous amount of networking and community involvement. You have to pound the pavement for work, it doesn't come to you. This requires a certain degree of confidence and lack of modesty. It's do or die. You can't doubt your work or under-sell yourself or you might starve. That's just not an option.

Then there is the other kind of artist who happens to also like his or her "day job", have become accustomed to a steady flow of income, health benefits, and a certain degree of stability. They love their art, but perhaps don't eat, sleep and breathe it. They aren't quite willing to sacrifice any of the above to take the huge leap of faith that it would require and live a completely different life than the one which they've become comfortable with and accustomed to. Perhaps networking and self-promotion isn't really their cup of tea.

Perhaps supporting oneself as an artist has less to do with talent, and more to do with the amount of confidence, sacrifice, and effort that an individual is willing to give.

The bottom line, I believe, is that if we really want something badly enough, we will find a way to achieve it. If we are not fulfilling our "dream", or living our "dream" life, whatever that looks like to each of us, it must be because somewhere, deep in our psyche, we don't really want what we think we want, at least not in the way that we think we want it. OR, we may really want something, but are not being honest with ourselves about the amount of sacrifice or effort it would take, and that we are willing to give. Otherwise, we would already be on the road to achieving it. Maybe we should look at where we are now and ask ourselves; "Is this where I want to be? If not, where else would I prefer? And if it is "somewhere else", what would I need to actually sacrifice to get there, and is it really worth it to me? How badly do I really want it, anyway?"

People do this all the time - assess their life, make adjustments, effort and sacrifice. Move forward. Re-asses. Repeat. There is also nothing wrong with standing still if you already find yourself exactly where you want to be! But we can't mistake the "standing still" part of our lives as a path to some place other than where we are now.

What does all of this have to do with my blog? About 10 minutes ago, I LOL'd at the ease with which I could propound on this crack-philosophy without making the connection to my own journey. Because, it would appear, the same concept can be applied to losing weight (or any other personal health goal I might have).

In other words, I do a lot of thinking about it, blogging about it, (and even some actual effort too!), but I think if I really wanted it, I would be much farther along in my journey than I am.

It's time to do less talking, more doing. This will mean sacrifice, and effort. I keep telling myself that I can just watch what I eat, make healthy choices and exercise, and I will miraculously slim down. I logged what I ate today, being the first day back on Weight Watchers, and I've already used most of my extra weekly points allowance. I EAT A LOT.

I'm hyper aware of hypocrisy and it drives me crazy when I'm caught in my own web of it. So let's see - do I really want this....or not? Am I willing to make sacrifices and put forth the effort? Now that I'm really sitting with myself and thinking about it, I'm not sure. But it's do or don't time.