Well, I don't know! Maybe I'll be the same, maybe a little different. It's not like I haven't said this a thousand times already. Kind of like when I quit smoking. I think it took me a good couple hundred tries. Some people would just roll their eyes at every attempt and take bets on my "relapse" date. But I'm nothing if not determined, and I did it eventually. Why not this?
If I can run (the majority) of a half marathon by wanting it badly enough to try, to overcome a few "minor obstacles" and just DO it, then reason says I should be able to do just about anything. Losing 20 pounds should be one of those "anythings".
It's not like I haven't tried and tried and tried before. And it's not like I'm a complete failure (I have lost 12 pounds and kept it off), but something feels different this time. I feel like I deserve it, like I earned it, like I'm strong enough to overcome a few "minor obstacles" and just DO it, for crying out loud!
It is part vanity, yes. I want to look and feel my best (see my scary skinny post below). But believe me, I've been lighter before and it just plain feels better. To those who say "just embrace who you are now!" that's a lovely sentiment, really. And yes, there is a lot to be said for "self acceptance". I try to accept who I am all the time. But "who I am" is not my appearance, it's me on the inside. That's the me I strive to accept and be kind to while also trying to improve.
The sentiment should really be "accept your body the way it is". For people who are healthy (regardless of size or shape) and do that, my hat is off to you. You have "arrived". But for the rest of us, I have to ask...can too much body-acceptance be a bad thing? What if we're "accepting ourselves" right into an early grave? Don't we all deserve the best in life? To have better health now and fewer health problems as we age, to feel better emotionally and physically, have more energy, a better love life, be in a better mood, live longer, respect our bodies as the only one we're going to get in this life? If you can honestly say "YES, and I have all of those things now!" then good for you. Don't fix what ain't broke!
For the rest of us...why is it so freaking HARD to lose a few pounds?
For me - I have obesity, heart disease, and early death all up and down my dad's side of the family. It's safer to be svelte!
I'm ready to say yes. I deserve it. AND Ireallywanttoimprovemyrunningtime!!!
(Ok, I'll admit it, I'm HOOKED on running and it might be easier and I might be faster without this extra weight!)
About Me
- Eline
- Hi, and welcome! The purpose of this blog is purely self-indulgent, I admit (aren’t most blogs?). It started out as a place where I could log my weight loss and running progress before my wedding and my first half marathon in 2010. It quickly morphed into a convenient venue for blabbing about anything I felt like; My weight loss goals, yoga, boots, my horse, food, decent fitting jeans, hats, buddhism, weekend fun, you name it! So if you're looking for a blog with a complicated patchwork of deep thoughts, musings or philosophies, a blog providing insight into an amazingly interesting, brilliant person's mind...this ain't it! But feel free to laugh with (at) me as I share my thoughts, my occasional successes, and my epic failures!
Pleasanton Ridge
4 comments:
I'm hooked on running, too! My "running partner" and co-worker, Maura, and I were just talking about how we never thought we WANTED to "run", how silly! But we are up to 2.56 miles, 3 times a week! And we look forward to it! Crazy good :)
Excellent for both Eline and Emily! I remember many times prior to 6 months ago saying I couldn't run and have never been a runner and what do you know - I am a runner! I even have a certificate, a medal, a necklace and 2 race numbers that prove it!! Eline - you and I need to talk about future plans for our long runs. I do those better with some one. A couple of miles are ok by myself but I need a buddy for long runs!
Nikki
For sure we need to continue our long runs Nikki! As soon as my knees stop crackling! lol And what is our next race? I'd like to do a 10K, maybe the mini triathlon. The Haulin' Aspen in Bend next August sounds fun! But only 500 participants? Maybe we can get in......
And Emily - isn't it weird? I always tried to be a runner for whatever insane reason. Usually failed. But not anymore, I'm in control now! Muahh haaa haaa haaa (evil laugh)
Oh, and a side note: 12 pounds ago I had pre-diabetes and my blood pressure was always at the "hypertension" reading. Now my blood sugar levels are normal and my blood pressure is lower than it's been in years (it's in the normal range.) It's amazing the affect that even small gains and losses can have on our health!
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