My Size(s), They (have been) A Changin’

I thought it would be a “fun” little exercise to revisit my size and nutrition history. I don’t know what I was thinking. But here goes:

Birth to Aged 16: Skinny kid, tall and lanky with nicknames like “Stork”. I spent most days riding my horse, and most evenings at dance lessons or running around town with my girlfriends (and boyfriends, sshhhh!). My diet consisted of my horse’s carrots (or her grain if I was really starving), and one trip a day to the market across the street from the ranch for a bag of Munchos and a Mountain Dew.

Aged 16 to 24: Filled out a bit, though still thin for 5’8” at roughly 125-130 lbs. My diet consisted mainly of Beef Sticks & Cheese Puffs (meat & dairy), plus the introduction of Marlboro Lights, Beer, and Bubble Yum (fruits & vegetables).

Aged 24 to 28: Getting a little pudgy (“Hey! My Guess jeans keep shrinking!”). Cheese Puffs are still considered a “dairy” and Jack in the Box is my “go-to” hangover food. I quit smoking and suddenly, whoa, I'm pushing 170 pounds and wearing a size 14 Z Cavaricci jean! Being a size 14 at this height is not exactly clinically obese, but it was at about this time that well-meaning family members, who shall remain nameless, started expressing their “concern”.

Aged 28 to 35: A personal tragic event shook my foundation. I lost all the weight easily by developing a gigantic case of self loathing coupled with a slight eating disorder (I don’t recommend this diet). I eliminated my beloved Cheese Puffs (because they were poison to me now!! Oh, the drama of depression and disorders!). I had a baby, got divorced, lived on my own and struggled a bit financially as a single mom. My diet became toddler leftovers, red wine and I started smoking again from the stress of it all. Ahhh…nice and slim! My exercise consisted of lots of “dating” and "running around" when I didn’t have my son, and the other kind of “running around” (chasing after him) when I did have him. Who had time to eat? I was probably my thinnest adult weight at roughly 135 lbs and a size 4 or 6. Some people started to say “You’re too thin.” That was weird. But my mom said I was beautiful, so I figured I probably was. She doesn't just throw those types of compliments around. (Did I mention that I come from a family of tall Nordic people? They come from the land of the ice and snow and become thin by eating lots of cheese. Clearly, it's a recessive gene and I didn't get it).

Aged 36 to present (I’m 42 now): Quit smoking (for good), started hiking, finally became nutritionally mature, met a man like no other. But the no smoking thing; it isn't really working out so well for my butt. That, and not being stressed out about finances, an ex, or anything else for that matter, and enjoying my life (a little too thoroughly and with a good amount of excessive gusto) have all conspired to allow the pounds to creep back on.

I want all the thin-ness of a whacky, stressed out life, but without the whacky, stressed-out part of it. Is that even possible? Is it too much to ask?