I remember when I first started this blog in March of 2010. I decided that I would track my fitness and weight loss goals for my upcoming wedding. What better way to track my journey than with a blog, right? And of course, as most journeys go, I didn’t always anticipate the little detours I would take. Or where I would end up.
I wrote about calories ingested and workouts accomplished, of course. But reading through the past year's blog entries, I realize that I wrote about lots of other things as well.
One of my earliest posts was about a sweet little baby cow (or steer) called #431. Many times, when my friend and I hiked the hills above Pleasanton, we would run into our #431. Every time I gazed into those big beautiful, curious eyes, I grew increasingly aware of my disconnected relationship with food and the responsibility I have, or felt that I should have, toward the source of my food.
Over the course of the past year, I continued my food "RESEARCH", growing increasingly dissatisfied with the role that I felt I have played in the food industry. It all culminated; my love of food and cooking, my desire to make a difference (as small as it may be), my timely meeting with #431, my goal to be healthier and to cultivate a healthier relationship with food, etc. into a more CONSCIOUS WAY OF EATING.
Sadly, #431 is long gone. He and his buddies have been “harvested” and replaced by a new crop of cattle. But none have been so sweet and curious as that little guy. Thank you #431... I bet you were REALLY tasty (sniffle...sob...sniffle).
In my early blog entries, I wrote about my favorite “Champion of Food”, Michael Pollan. I blogged a few times about my passion for yoga, my small TRIUMPHS and big TRAIN WRECKS, my crazy obsession with the SCALE and all things FRITOLAY.
I blogged about my absolute frustration with PLATEAUS and the clothing industry, as well as my complete obsession with the ever-illusive “perfect” pair of jeans (seriously, I have not ONE, not TWO, but THREE blog entries dedicated to jeans!).
I blogged about my insecurities, but also about how (more often than not) I am completely at peace with myself, IMPERFECTIONS and all.
I’ve waxed poetic about BACON (hidden in a blog post I wrote when I was feeling particularly self-absorbed and didn't like it!), about the WOMEN who have inspired me, (to do something CRAZY) and about STARTING OVER. And over. And over.
I blogged quite a bit while training for the San Jose Rock & Roll Half Marathon. And then I blogged about the HALF MARATHON afterward!
I blogged a brief entry about our WEDDING, and then I posted our BUDDHIST WEDDING VOWS! (Which has gotten hundreds of hits from all over the world, by the way! I'm so glad it might be helpful to some!)
I’ve blogged about the importance of a SUPPORT SYSTEM, about HONESTY AND EFFORT, and touched on a few of my LIFE PHILOSOPHIES, as well as my FOOD PHILOSOPHIES.
Looking back through my blog, I am more aware than ever, that what may appear to be a simple blog about weight loss, food and fitness to others, has really been much more for me. It’s where I could express my FRUSTRATION, and go "public" with my GOALS and RESOLUTIONS (3 of the 4 I have kept!).
I don’t know that I can say I’ve learned anything new about myself. I’ve always had a pretty good amount of “self-knowledge”. But the blog has been a fun outlet to express myself and share some of my "personality quirks". Like my obsessive nature, my super hero ability to whine, and my tendency toward self-deprecation to the point where some people, who don’t know me, might mistake my humor for flat out low self esteem. Oh, and my tenacity (I can beat a dead horse. And even though it's dead, I'll saddle it up and try to ride it again). Nice!
The blog has kept me honest and held me accountable. I put it out there for anyone (or no one) to read.
Basically, what I mean to say by all of this is this: hidden in between all of the statistical weight/workout/food entries are little gems. And it’s these little gems that define who I am and what this journey has been about for me. I am the little gems, not to be confused with the number on the scale or the calories on my plate.
I just used that as an excuse to write. So, thanks for reading! : )
So, where am I now and have I accomplished what I set out to do? That is a tough question. Looking back, I imagined that I would have lost a little more weight by now (by last June, to be precise!). But what I've accomplished and gained in the past year has proven to be a trade off that I'll take gladly. And I've lost this much:
And I can tell you this - I don't care if you have 10, 20, 50, or 100 pounds to lose. It's fucking hard!
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