Oh dear lord, some of the things I Google.....
I saw a Facebook post about "something something classy woman" and it made me think...what IS a classy woman? Is it someone who is well educated? I don't think so. I've met some pretty well educated woman who don't seem particularly classy to me. Is it someone who is "tres fashionable"? (or speaks fluent French?) No, I don't think so. How about money? Can money buy class? ha ha ha! (that's all I have to say about that).
I wasted a lof of my youth trying to get in trouble. I always seemed to get away with murder (not literally), but I wanted so badly to be a bad girl. I didn't want to be the one the cops always let go with a "find yourself some nicer friends" warning. I wanted to be hauled off to jail. Throw me in the can! I love that song about Folsom...and the prison there...and whatnot.
I smoked Marlborough Reds and partied a LOT. Just to prove a point (now I wish I had done a bit less of both, not so fun being bad ass looking in my 40's).
I like to cuss. I say "Fuck" all the time, for many reasons: 1) It's fun 2) It's shocking 3) I'm a bad ass.
My ex-husband once said; "Eline, it just doesn't seem like that word should come out of your mouth!" So I said it even more. Why shouldn't it come out of my mouth? I'm dangerous!
Anyway, my mom, who always has THE best wisdom EVER (she has given me three gems in my lifetime. They are sacred, I live my life by them, they are all I need). One of them was: "Oh Eline, LET people think of you what they will....My goodness, when in the world would it be a disadvantage for people to hold you in higher regard that you deserve?" (HA HA, I'm pretty sure she didn't use those words exactly, but you get the idea). I think I had been complaining that people thought I was a "goody two-shoes" or something (I know! What the hell was my problem?).
So here is my awesome Google find. Copied From "Ehow", classy typos and all:
Instructions
How to Identify a Classy Woman
1 There is no classier woman than a woman who spends time with herself for grooming purposes. Look at a lady from head to toe. Her hair should look like it's been brushed and styled. It should not look like she just got out of bed or have been lying around on the couch all day (like some untalented stylists have lead some women to believe).
First of all, if I'm spending "time with myself"....it's not for grooming purposes. And that's probably why I have "bedhead".
2 Look at the hands. They should be clean and groomed. The nails can be short or long. They can be polished or unpolished. The polish should not be chipping off.
Oops.
3 Look at the feet, if they are exposed. They should be clean and smooth. There should not be the appearance of a light "pie crust" around the feet. The nails should be short. They can be polished or unpolished. The polish should not be chipping off.
What the fuck is a pie crust???
4 The lady should have a smooth and flowing gait. They should not walk hunched over. They should not drag and slide their feet. Their head should be up and not starring down. Their arms should be close to their body as they walk.
Omg, is a non-classy lady Sasquatch? Do people really slide their feet and flail their arms around when they walk? I wanna see that! Am I horse? What is my 'gait'? This is hillarious!
5 A classy woman will always leave you with the impression of "I wonder what...". However, if a woman has a nice body and she feels she has to practically be undressed to make sure you see her (The ole if you got it flaunt it mentality), not only is she not classy, she is insecure. This is evident by the fact that when she goes to meet your mother, she tries to dress like a librarian.
But what if I look better naked???
6 A classy woman will always leave the privilege of seeing her assets to the special man in her life. You must ask yourself, does a woman have to advertise to every man on the planet what her body looks like? If so, is there anything special she's reserving for the special man in her life to see?
Speechless. Should we wear Burkas so as not to "advertise" what we look like? Try telling that to clothing designers (I can't name any, I'm not classy enough).
7 Look for confidence in a classy woman. They make men wonder. They treat themselves as if they are royalty. A classy woman understands that if she doesn't treat herself as if she's special, she shouldn't expect a man to treat her as if she's special.
I'm a fucking queen, are you kidding me? Oh my god, go fuck yourself!
Now I know why I don't want to be "classy".
Friday, June 29, 2012
Drat! Foiled AGAIN!
Today is my weigh in and I am up a pound. We returned from vacation (a very active one, I might add) on Sunday and I didn't dare weigh myself (ok, I did, and it wasn't pretty). So here I am, still up a pound. What gives?
I hardly think the day we have planned at the county fair tomorrow is going to help matters any.
Last night, I mentioned to Rob that I found it odd (and frustrating) that I keep repeating this strange, twisted cycle: I will think to myself that I look perfectly fine, actually pretty great, even admiring my own backside in the mirror from time to time! (ON occasion, IF I have really cute jeans on). Is it terrible to admit that? You do it too, right?
I'll be on a roll, running and working out, practicing yoga and feeling super centered and serene, only to get on the scale and realize that I've been kidding myself. I must have been imagining things. I must have some bizarre Narcissus complex, an exagerated self-confidence, an unnaturally high self esteem, because the scale is telling me that I'm a failure, a big fat loser. And then I do the strangest thing; I believe it. But that can't be, can it? Scales can't talk, can they?
Why does mine?
I'm going to think about this awhile.....
I will probably do one of two things:
1) I'll shrug it off, and eat vegetable soup for three days after the fair and try again.
2) I'll throw out the scale and keep doing my best without weighing in so that I can at least imagine that I'm in control, and feel really good about it!
I'm taking bets if you'd like to place one.
I hardly think the day we have planned at the county fair tomorrow is going to help matters any.
Last night, I mentioned to Rob that I found it odd (and frustrating) that I keep repeating this strange, twisted cycle: I will think to myself that I look perfectly fine, actually pretty great, even admiring my own backside in the mirror from time to time! (ON occasion, IF I have really cute jeans on). Is it terrible to admit that? You do it too, right?
I'll be on a roll, running and working out, practicing yoga and feeling super centered and serene, only to get on the scale and realize that I've been kidding myself. I must have been imagining things. I must have some bizarre Narcissus complex, an exagerated self-confidence, an unnaturally high self esteem, because the scale is telling me that I'm a failure, a big fat loser. And then I do the strangest thing; I believe it. But that can't be, can it? Scales can't talk, can they?
Why does mine?
I'm going to think about this awhile.....
I will probably do one of two things:
1) I'll shrug it off, and eat vegetable soup for three days after the fair and try again.
2) I'll throw out the scale and keep doing my best without weighing in so that I can at least imagine that I'm in control, and feel really good about it!
I'm taking bets if you'd like to place one.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
I Think I Did It!
I've become one of those obnoxious people I used to laugh at, while enjoying my morning cocktail, who use vacations as "new and exciting opportunities for outdoor fitness". Blech!
My goal was to come home at least the same weight, if not a little lighter, than I was when I left. I've just gotten so tired of going on vacation, only to have to spend the following few weeks trying to un-do the damage. I may have come home the same weight, but I ain't gettin' on no scale at no 4 O'clock in the afternoon!
I will weigh in tomorrow, at a reasonable hour.
Back to the obnoxious "active vacationer" I've become. Of the seven full days I was on vacation, I managed to get in about five work outs. Here they are, in order:
First stop, the family cabin at Clear Lake.
My sister in law and I had chatted briefly about "being on the same page" as far as healthful eating (for the most part). Between her Tuna Panzanella, and my Bread Salad, healthy snacks (mostly), and our good intentions, I think we did quite well (and Nancy, you looked fabulous, by the way!).
My brother and I got in a nice 3.2 mile interval run/walk on the 2nd day. I followed it with a swim of a "couple of miles" to our best estimation. It was probably more like 200 yards, but it was "open water" so... I think there's a conversion chart for that somewhere.
On day three, I did something that I have always kind of wanted to do: hike to the top of Mt. Konocti!
My cousin Jill had done it the week before (and was proposed to!) and posted pictures on facebook, sent me a handy link, and a very good tip (start EARLY, it's HOT!).
Mt. Konocti is a pretty sizable volcano (I think. I'm not really a "Volcano Expert" so I don't actually know if it's big or small by volcano standards). What I do know, is that it's always in the background, hogging the sky line, of just about every photo anyone has ever taken from the cabin. I've grown up gazing up at it from my floatie in the water, listening to the Native American tale of how it came to be, feeling dwarfed by it, nervously wondering if it's active or not, sitting on the deck watching the sun set behind it. It's really quite majestic.
The hike was about 6.5 miles round trip, 3.5 hours, with a 2000' elevation gain.
Here is a photo of three of my favorite guys. While the rest of the family went to brunch and then wine tasting (yes, I said brunch and then wine tasting), we hiked!
I love this photo because our friend Kris had arrived a little later than the rest of us, and notice how we're all on the deck, having cocktails and chatting, completely unaware of the fact that she has bags all over the place. I think we may have waved "Hello!" (we did end up helping her unpack her car...eventually).
This was our neighborhood for the next three days:
After I got my "mountain lungs", I thought it would be great fun to try running at 6,000', in the rain. It was actually super fun! The clean, fresh air made up for the serious lack of oxygen in it, and I felt like a pretty bad ass athlete running in the rain at 6,000 feet, which was very apropos, since this is my "Bad Ass" year! (We had a conversation over dinner one night about "themes" for our birth-years and I determined that this year was my "Bad Ass" year, which is actually really funny because I'm far from a bad ass "anything". But this year, I am a bad ass at whatever/anything/everything. Because that's how bad asses roll....I guess).
Oh, and sure, we did plenty of this. I was with great friends, one of whom is a master mixologist, and we know how to have a great time!
Now, take a look at this beauty!
Rob and I had heard there was a tandem bike in the garage of the house we rented. We were excited! I think we had some "sun-shiney" illusions of coasting around town, carefree, probably a little buzzed, etc.
In reality, this is the Demon Bike. The Brake-Less Beast. The Double Caution. The "Why in The World Would We Take This Thing Around Donner Lake in The Wind and Rain With No Brakes, With A Seat So Low I Banged My Knees On The Handle Bars The Entire 7.4 Miles?". But believe it or not, we had a blast! Even though we wiped out once (the "no brakes" thing was really an unfortunate surprise) and then almost T-boned a little kid on his bicycle, which was not nearly as bad ass as ours. We're kind of weird that way.
SoOooOOOoooo....I weigh in tomorrow. If I gained weight, I'm totally going back to the "eating and drinking" kind of vacation. Maybe.
My goal was to come home at least the same weight, if not a little lighter, than I was when I left. I've just gotten so tired of going on vacation, only to have to spend the following few weeks trying to un-do the damage. I may have come home the same weight, but I ain't gettin' on no scale at no 4 O'clock in the afternoon!
I will weigh in tomorrow, at a reasonable hour.
Back to the obnoxious "active vacationer" I've become. Of the seven full days I was on vacation, I managed to get in about five work outs. Here they are, in order:
First stop, the family cabin at Clear Lake.
My sister in law and I had chatted briefly about "being on the same page" as far as healthful eating (for the most part). Between her Tuna Panzanella, and my Bread Salad, healthy snacks (mostly), and our good intentions, I think we did quite well (and Nancy, you looked fabulous, by the way!).
My brother and I got in a nice 3.2 mile interval run/walk on the 2nd day. I followed it with a swim of a "couple of miles" to our best estimation. It was probably more like 200 yards, but it was "open water" so... I think there's a conversion chart for that somewhere.
On day three, I did something that I have always kind of wanted to do: hike to the top of Mt. Konocti!
My cousin Jill had done it the week before (and was proposed to!) and posted pictures on facebook, sent me a handy link, and a very good tip (start EARLY, it's HOT!).
Mt. Konocti is a pretty sizable volcano (I think. I'm not really a "Volcano Expert" so I don't actually know if it's big or small by volcano standards). What I do know, is that it's always in the background, hogging the sky line, of just about every photo anyone has ever taken from the cabin. I've grown up gazing up at it from my floatie in the water, listening to the Native American tale of how it came to be, feeling dwarfed by it, nervously wondering if it's active or not, sitting on the deck watching the sun set behind it. It's really quite majestic.
The hike was about 6.5 miles round trip, 3.5 hours, with a 2000' elevation gain.
Here is a photo of three of my favorite guys. While the rest of the family went to brunch and then wine tasting (yes, I said brunch and then wine tasting), we hiked!
Here is a photo from "almost" the top...
And here is the "real" top....
I didn't go over the cyclone fence, through the barbed wire, and up the steps of the closed and boarded up tower to take this shot....I don't have any recollection of how I may have obtained this photo...
And in case you thought I was exaggerating about the "mountain hogging the sky line of every photo", here is a montage:
Morning
Noon
Noon
Night!
It's always there, and it was time to hike it!
It's always there, and it was time to hike it!
After a fabulous 4 days of running, hiking, swimming, and hanging out with my family at the lake, it was time for us to head for higher ground. We had rented a house on Donner Lake near Tahoe with some friends, so onward we go!
Here is the house:
This was our neighborhood for the next three days:
We eased ourselves in to the high altitude activities on day two with a 2-3 mile Noon time walk in flip flops, carrying our 2nd round of Bloody Marys. Just trying to acclimate. Kris and I also did yoga on the deck that afternoon, after the effects of the Bloody Marys wore off. Slow and steady....my motto.
Oh, and sure, we did plenty of this. I was with great friends, one of whom is a master mixologist, and we know how to have a great time!
Now, take a look at this beauty!
Rob and I had heard there was a tandem bike in the garage of the house we rented. We were excited! I think we had some "sun-shiney" illusions of coasting around town, carefree, probably a little buzzed, etc.
In reality, this is the Demon Bike. The Brake-Less Beast. The Double Caution. The "Why in The World Would We Take This Thing Around Donner Lake in The Wind and Rain With No Brakes, With A Seat So Low I Banged My Knees On The Handle Bars The Entire 7.4 Miles?". But believe it or not, we had a blast! Even though we wiped out once (the "no brakes" thing was really an unfortunate surprise) and then almost T-boned a little kid on his bicycle, which was not nearly as bad ass as ours. We're kind of weird that way.
SoOooOOOoooo....I weigh in tomorrow. If I gained weight, I'm totally going back to the "eating and drinking" kind of vacation. Maybe.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Congratulations! You Lost Again This Week!
"Keep doing exactly what you're doing."
That's what the Weight Watchers on line weight tracker told me. That's what I want to see each week. Sure, it was only a .5 pound this week, not as much as the first week, but at least I'm moving in the right direction.
I started running again this week! I'm doing the Couch to 5K interval training program. The same one that I used to start training for the half marathon in 2010. I've run twice now, my third run is tomorrow and I am rewarding myself with new running shoes today!
I'm going to be on vacation now for a week and my goal is to NOT come back 5 pounds heavier, but actually at least another .5 pound lighter. We'll see. I'm bringing my running shoes!
That's what the Weight Watchers on line weight tracker told me. That's what I want to see each week. Sure, it was only a .5 pound this week, not as much as the first week, but at least I'm moving in the right direction.
I started running again this week! I'm doing the Couch to 5K interval training program. The same one that I used to start training for the half marathon in 2010. I've run twice now, my third run is tomorrow and I am rewarding myself with new running shoes today!
I'm going to be on vacation now for a week and my goal is to NOT come back 5 pounds heavier, but actually at least another .5 pound lighter. We'll see. I'm bringing my running shoes!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Goddesses Don't (fill in the blank), We Buy Booze.
That was a joke from last night, but it's not as hillarious now for some reason.
I'm typing this blog entry from a supine position on the couch, with my lap top on my belly, and the watery ice cube remains of a bloody mary next to me.
My girlfriends and I had a fabulously fun time last night, as usual, at one our "Goddess" parties. That's where we all get together and bring our favorite foods and beverages, sometimes we do "crafty" / "Soul Collage-ing" type things, we've had mobile masseuses come and give massages, etc. But mostly we eat, drink, talk, laugh, eat, drink some more, and sometimes get a little wild.
Last night's party started off demurely enough with pedicures, vodka martinis and cocktail meatballs. Someone even brought lemon bars....I don't think it get's any more proper than that. But as the witching hour neared, we all flung off our bras, and what small amount of common sense we had left, and decided to go on a 2 mile trek to walk one of the goddesses home and retrieve my husband.
Some of us brought beers on our walk (why we thought it was a good idea to switch from vodka martinis, to wine, to beer, is still a mystery to me), and of course had a run in with the police. They were actually looking for someone and just asked us if we'd seen anything suspicious. I was pretty miffed that 6 loud, bra-less, decidedly un-ladylike, drunken women, walking after midnight with beer bottles and reeking of Mango Chutney Brown Rice Salad, didn't seem a bit suspicious to them, but whatever.
We dropped off one Goddess, picked up my husband (who had been drinking Scotch and smoking cigars with another husband), and we all, somehow, made it back home safely!
This was our buffet (and a couple of the Goddesses), or part of it, there was a constant rotation of culinary delights:
And the reason I will be eating soup for the next three days.
I did lose 2.5 pounds my first week back on Weight Watchers! Well, as of yesterday before the party anyway.....
I'm typing this blog entry from a supine position on the couch, with my lap top on my belly, and the watery ice cube remains of a bloody mary next to me.
My girlfriends and I had a fabulously fun time last night, as usual, at one our "Goddess" parties. That's where we all get together and bring our favorite foods and beverages, sometimes we do "crafty" / "Soul Collage-ing" type things, we've had mobile masseuses come and give massages, etc. But mostly we eat, drink, talk, laugh, eat, drink some more, and sometimes get a little wild.
Last night's party started off demurely enough with pedicures, vodka martinis and cocktail meatballs. Someone even brought lemon bars....I don't think it get's any more proper than that. But as the witching hour neared, we all flung off our bras, and what small amount of common sense we had left, and decided to go on a 2 mile trek to walk one of the goddesses home and retrieve my husband.
Some of us brought beers on our walk (why we thought it was a good idea to switch from vodka martinis, to wine, to beer, is still a mystery to me), and of course had a run in with the police. They were actually looking for someone and just asked us if we'd seen anything suspicious. I was pretty miffed that 6 loud, bra-less, decidedly un-ladylike, drunken women, walking after midnight with beer bottles and reeking of Mango Chutney Brown Rice Salad, didn't seem a bit suspicious to them, but whatever.
We dropped off one Goddess, picked up my husband (who had been drinking Scotch and smoking cigars with another husband), and we all, somehow, made it back home safely!
This was our buffet (and a couple of the Goddesses), or part of it, there was a constant rotation of culinary delights:
And the reason I will be eating soup for the next three days.
I did lose 2.5 pounds my first week back on Weight Watchers! Well, as of yesterday before the party anyway.....
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Hello, Old Friend!
I am not an inspiration. I am a study in perseverance. I am the average, every day experience, with a little more than the average amount of tenacity thrown in. And yes...the ability to laugh at myself, a distinct lack of self decorum and an almost non-existent filter. But if the truth be known, I am having as much fun failing as I would be having were I to succeed.
I don't mind that, when I constantly say: "THIS time....I MEAN it!" a few folks might roll their eyes, maybe some can relate, and maybe some just enjoy watching train wrecks. Not the graphic, tragic kind. But the fun, harmless kind. This is assuming anyone reads this. (I know who you three are, by the way. The relater, the train wreck watcher, and the eye roller!)
It's hard to succeed when I really don't mind the failing. But I'm going to try again.
I had a very inspiring visit from my niece Veronica last weekend who has lost 45 pounds using Weight Watchers and is now running 5K races, and I'm sure will be progressing to a 10K soon!
I hiked with my friend Kristin last week. She's really looking lean and fit. "How are you doing it?", I ask. Oh. Eat less, exercise more. "Yeah, but what's the SECRET??!?" (sigh)
I'm doing Weight Watchers again! But this time (all together now) I MEAN IT!
I'm down two pounds since Sunday. I guess it will probably work if I stick to it. ("Probably"/"stick to it" - already seld-defeating, already questioning my ability to stick to it! I see how I am.)
I made the best Mexican Chicken Soup this week to kick off my return to WW. I love their recipes! I've forgotten how much fun it is to browse through the thousands of recipes and chop, chop, chop (I always pick the ones involving the most fresh produce and lots of chopping!).
Would it be too much, or is it inappropriate, if I ask you to wish me luck? Again? : )
I don't mind that, when I constantly say: "THIS time....I MEAN it!" a few folks might roll their eyes, maybe some can relate, and maybe some just enjoy watching train wrecks. Not the graphic, tragic kind. But the fun, harmless kind. This is assuming anyone reads this. (I know who you three are, by the way. The relater, the train wreck watcher, and the eye roller!)
It's hard to succeed when I really don't mind the failing. But I'm going to try again.
I had a very inspiring visit from my niece Veronica last weekend who has lost 45 pounds using Weight Watchers and is now running 5K races, and I'm sure will be progressing to a 10K soon!
I hiked with my friend Kristin last week. She's really looking lean and fit. "How are you doing it?", I ask. Oh. Eat less, exercise more. "Yeah, but what's the SECRET??!?" (sigh)
I'm doing Weight Watchers again! But this time (all together now) I MEAN IT!
I'm down two pounds since Sunday. I guess it will probably work if I stick to it. ("Probably"/"stick to it" - already seld-defeating, already questioning my ability to stick to it! I see how I am.)
I made the best Mexican Chicken Soup this week to kick off my return to WW. I love their recipes! I've forgotten how much fun it is to browse through the thousands of recipes and chop, chop, chop (I always pick the ones involving the most fresh produce and lots of chopping!).
Would it be too much, or is it inappropriate, if I ask you to wish me luck? Again? : )
Friday, June 1, 2012
Born To Be Wild, Sort Of.....
Here's how it played out....
Thursday before Memorial Day Weekend:
Rob: "What should we do this weekend? Feel like doing something FUN?"
Me: "Yeah! What should we do??" (prepares list of possible ideas: hikes, local events/art shows/pub crawling in the city? We can't decide.)
Friday before Memorial Day Weekend:
Rob: "What do you think about renting that Harley? They still have the deposit from the time we cancelled......"
Me: "Yeah! Great idea! Check on that!" (ha ha ha...there's no way there will be a bike available for the weekend.)
Rob: "We got a bike, we're picking it up tomorrow morning for the weekend!"
Me: "Oh cool!" (oh craaaaap!)
You see, I've never been on the back of a motorcycle, except for maybe the one time I got a ride home, ok twice I've gotten a ride home from a party on the back of a motorcycle...once when I was 15 and once when I was old enough to know better. But anyway....
If you know me, you know that I'm afraid of pretty much everything. In particular, I'm afraid of riding on motorcycles. It's just so dangerous! But I still try to do the things I'm afraid of, even if I can't breathe very well and I need to constantly google map the nearest hospitals, just in case. It kind of sucks, but that's just how I am. So this would be no different. I was excited, and scared. I knew that Rob has really missed riding. He had a motorcycle for 8 years before he even had a car.
So we decided to take off, no hard plans, just let a few people know we were going to be cruising around....and let the adventure unfold!
We went early Saturday morning to California Motorcycle Adventures in Mountain View and picked up this sweet 2010 Harley Davidson Electra glide:
I put the helmet on and, of course, I got claustrophobic immediately and couldn't breathe. But I kept my mouth shut (literally, the helmet was so tight, I couldn't open my mouth!). I really wanted to do this. Mostly for Rob. But also, what woman doesn't have that fantasy of being a biker chic? So off we went. And I wasn't scared! Well, there was the initial moment of panic, shortness of breath, lifting and lowering of the visor to check on air flow, reduced to a more generalized fear of crashing and dying, etc. but it was quickly replaced by an amazing feeling of freedom. I reached a point within the first couple of miles where, as I held on to Rob, I could just "feel" that he knew what he was doing. So I was ok. He would take care of me. Now I could just relax and enjoy the ride. And what a ride it was! We had the most spectacular weekend ever! I know I say that a lot...but this was really...spectacular!
We headed over Hwy 84 to the coast and headed down Hwy 1 to Moss Landing where we met our friend Tony and his daughter Becca at Phil's Fish Market:
We opted for the Olollieiberry Pie to go and headed back North, through the Santa Cruz mountains on Hwy 9, to our friends' home in the mountains.
And off we go!
The next day we decided to head back South, then East through Carmel Valley and over to Pinnacles National Monument.
Carmel Valley, in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I think I even choked up a little bit cruising by some of the oldest ranches in California history. My pictures don't do it justice.
Road to Pinnacles! (the small, winding roads were the best!)
7 pm, we rolled into Fremont. But we just couldn't stop riding. SO, we went straight past our house, up through Niles Canyon, and into Pleasanton to have dinner at one of our old favorite Mexican restaurants.
Clearly....we were born to ride...horse, Harley, whatever. Rob needs a bike. I get it.
