What a Girl Wants (it's not cheese puffs)

Do you remember the email that went around a while ago titled “Porn for Women”? It had a bunch of scantily clad men doing housework? It was pretty funny. Do you want to know another fantasy that women have? The fantasy that we can eat healthy 80% of the time, then 20% of the time we can eat whatever we want…and still lose weight! I’m not sure who came up with this formula, I doubt if it can even be traced back to a scientific study, doctor, nutritionist, or if it was an urban legend all along. I’m starting to suspect that it has been misconstrued and misunderstood in order to correspond with our "cheese puff fantasies" (insert your favorite bad- for-you food) and that the 80/20 rule is meant for AFTER we achieve our healthy goal weight, not during the process. After we lose whatever amount of weight we want to lose, by all means, let's eat healthy 80% of the time and splurge now and then. We can still maintain our figures without derailing our efforts. I'm pretty sure that sounds right. Of course, I'm no expert.

I hate to be negative because what I’m doing does seem to be working, albeit very, very slowly. I know, I know, that’s the healthy way. The weight should stay off, blah blah blah. I know I feel much better! I’ve lost an inch and a half from my waist and I feel a little “firmer”. I bet my heart is healthier, my blood pressure is within a good range, pre-hyper tension and pre-diabetes are things of the past. But I’m getting impatient and starting to succumb to the “I am killing myself on these hikes and eating turkey wraps every day for lunch, I want results NOW” mentality.

I TRIED the 80/20 rule and it took me a week and a half to recover from the "20%" portion of nachos/sliders/burritos/margaritas and cheese puffs. My lack of basic math aptitude could be partly to blame. Rob informed me that a 20% splurge would amount to one order of Little League Nachos every 5 games, not once a week. I was way off. I think in an earlier post, I actually referred to it as a “slight eating disorder” when I ate ZERO un-healthy food for a few months and dropped a bunch of weight. Really? It’s an eating disorder if I don’t eat cheese puffs and super burritos? I’m going to have to rethink that.

It’s not that I eat nothing but nuts and lettuce. I eat normal food – chicken, fish, some beef, lots of vegetables and fruits, yogurt, nuts, salads, whole wheat bread and brown rice. But I think I’m going to say “so long” to my beloved Cheese Puffs for awhile. No more fries and nachos this Little League season. Call me crazy. Call me extreme. But I’m not hiking 5000’ each week just to refuel with garbage. I’m tired of complaining about my slow progress as I painstakingly log the 375 calorie Cheese Puff splurge into my food diary. It turns out, I can’t have it all. And that’s fine, because I know what I really want. I'm not obsessed....just determined.

My Week in Hikes - Week 3

This week was pretty standard:

Sunday 3/21: Bike down Alameda Creek 11.4 miles, 500 calorie burn

Monday 3/22: Hike Pleasanton Ridge, 680 calorie burn

Tuesday 3/23: Walk 3 miles, 320 calorie burn

Wednesday 3/24: Hike Morrison Canyon, 735 calorie burn

Friday 3/26: Hike Pleasanton Ridge, 680 calorie burn

Total burn: 2,915 calories

As far as my eating this week, I'm proud to report that I do not have any confessions to make! We ate in all week. I'm averaging around 1500 net calories per day (after subtracting calories burned). Technically, I should still be on track to lose a pound a week. My weigh in isn't for another week and a half, but it doesn't seem like much has changed since my last weigh.

But here is some really exciting news!!! Rob, who is not trying, and is not working out, and hasn't really changed his eating habits (which have always been pretty healthy) other than maybe slightly healthier dinners that I've been making, has lost 14 pounds since my last weigh in!!

I'm trying to be happy for him. Really......trying......to be happy....for him. Go Rob. (bastard!!)

For lack of anything profound.....bacon.

This is what happens when I have nothing to say. And I’m bored. And I have PMS. And I’m craving bacon. This will be my last un-inspired post, I promise. I just wanted to try it out and see what I would say if I had nothing in my head at all. It's an experiment of sorts, so please humor me.

I have recently discovered that having this blog has a downside. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot of fun and I am enjoying the writing; something I haven’t done nearly enough of in the past several years. But the reason I haven't written much in years is because I tend to be a private person (pause for the laughter to die down). Seriously, I am. Anything I write just seems so personal. Any poetry I’ve ever written I’ve destroyed (if I didn’t give it to someone, and then wished I could take it back because now it's "out there"). I don’t really have much of an internal filter (case in point: this post). I don’t really understand deception (self or otherwise), and I don’t keep journals or diaries because I would DIE if someone found them and (gasp) read them!

So I’m writing a blog for any and all to read….because? Well, to get over myself of course! And what am I writing about? Why, myself of course! You see the irony here.

To live a healthy lifestyle, have definite goals, and stick with it day after day, whether you write about it or not, requires a whole lot of (in my opinion) "self-enthusiasm" (nicer word for narcissism, which is too strong and negative). You have to be constantly thinking about yourself, and how you look, and how you feel. It's all about you! (or me, in this case). And to be honest, I’m just not that into myself (omg...stop with the laughing already!).

I’ve often joked that I should forget about what’s on the outside, and just work on my personality. I am only half joking. I annoy myself sometimes. Even the sound of my own voice grates on my nerves. I can’t imagine how other people must feel hearing me drone on and on about nothing (I can talk about nothing for hours, just ask Rob). I’m lazy, a know it all, I'm always right, not always nice, not always funny (even when I think I’m hilarious), insensitive at times, (I am learning to be “careful” with what I say around sensitive people because of the aforementioned lack of filter, but it's a challenge). I’m easily annoyed by others, sometimes a loner, a little moody at times, caustic, flammable and poisonous (the last three just popped into my head and this is an experiment in "writing what pops into my head", or "stream of consciousness writing" for all of you English Lit snobs, so I thought I should include them).

The point is – I tire of myself. I bore myself. Believe me, its not just you. I feel your pain (about me). Before this blog I was working on the Buddhist practice of non-self, non-ego; being one with all, not a separate part of it. Um, a few steps back here? How does one balance ego-centrism with non-ego? One doesn’t. But for whatever reason, working on the outside is a whole lot easier than working on the inside sometimes. So I think I’ll take a break from seeking enlightenment and work on my "lightenment" (Ha ha ha God, I'm Hilarious!!!). I just don’t have the energy to do both at the same time, especially today what with my headache, pms and bacon craving.

As long as I’m being narcissistic, I mean "self-enthusiastic", I thought I would impress you with some romantic poetry.

My Love

Why do I feel like without you I’m lost?
But I try to avoid you, at whatever cost?

When I think of a burger, or breakfast or lunch,
with Lettuce and Tomato, I miss you a bunch.

I’ve recently learned that at 30 a slice
I can have you…in moderation…isn’t that nice?

But it’s those friends that you hang with
That make this so hard
Those eggs, that toast, cholesterol and lard.

Why do you run with such a bad crew?
It’s those choices you’ve made that have me so blue.

It's pretty apparent you care nought for my health
Nor my happiness, my future, my dwindling wealth

The sight of you now sends a chill through my gut
With your stalking and clinging 'round my thighs, hips and butt

You must think I’m some easy piece of jerkey
It’s over, I’ve moved on.
My new bacon is turkey.

Don’t call or write.

Suck it, Mother Nature!

I read a somewhat depressing (eye-opening?) article on Yahoo! yesterday. I learned that as women approach their middle years, it takes an hour of exercise per day, JUST to ward off the weight gain that occurs each year. I had three separate, rapid-fire reactions to this news:

1) What the HELL????!!!!????!
2) Hmmmmm…maybe I can get used to, and even embrace, my aging “fluffy” self?
3) *Sigh* FINE. I’ll cut a few more calories and lace up the hiking boots (resigned to my destiny).

My friend is doing a week long “Belly Fat Cure” diet. The guru, Jorge, is pretty convincing, and easy on the eyes. He comes straight to your home via an internet video and talks to you….personally. Then you get “the program”, which is a low carb, high protein, pretty easy to follow basic eating plan. This is followed by a few more emails (he becomes a little stalker-scary at this point) with subject lines like: “We’re in this together now!” and “I need your help!” (What he needs is for you to invite friends to join). But he seems like a nice sort of fellow, and he’s so personable! He’s kind of like the perfect boyfriend who provides loving concern along with some high energy motivation, but doesn’t clutter up your house. I liked him instantly. And I don’t know why, but I love to follow “new and exciting” eating plans! I’ve joined and rejoined Weight Watchers numerous times…mostly when they change up the “tracking logs”, cook books, and program style. It’s all so shiny and new! But alas, Rob took one look at Jorge and was instantly disapproving. I’m sure it had less to do with Jorge’s high energy and good looks (and my increasing excitement with every video and email I received from him) than the fact that what I’m doing now seems to be working and is sustainable long term. I also think that Rob took a peek at the dinner menu of “Grilled Meat, Spinach with Balsamic, and ½ Cup of Green Beans” and realized that both he and I would be running to Fernando’s for some real sustenance after just one night.

The point is – the Yahoo! news story just illustrates why guys like Jorge and these diets are so prevalent. Nothing else seems to work!!! We women work out and try to eat healthy, but that just maintains the status quo as we age. It’s these quick-start, rapid initial weight loss diets that make us feel like we’re accomplishing something.

I have a cousin training for a marathon, a friend training for Ironman (after already running several marathons, half marathons and triathlons), and now my sister is training for a 5k. There’s my hiking buddy, my “daily motivational email” healthy lifestyle buddy (because we don’t call it a diet), my “Losing 20 in 2010” buddy, and a number of other women friends who are all on some sort of transformational journey. I’m starting to realize that it has a little less to do with losing weight and fitting into “those jeans” or “that dress”, and more to do with accomplishment. As we get older, it may be harder to keep the figures we had in our youth…but could those bodies do what we’re pushing our bodies to do now? Not the way I smoked!

So, lace up your running shoes or your hiking boots. Boil your egg, have your burger without the bun, track your points, your calories or your fat/carb grams, whatever. With or without Jorge, we can do this thing! Whatever this “thing” may be!

Week in Hikes - Week Two

Technically, Kristin and I have been hiking for a few months now, but we recently kicked it up a notch and I just started logging them, so this is "officially" the 2nd week.

As you can tell by my "Self-portrait", I'm literally half the size I used to be! Or it could be the camera angle....I'm going with the former.

OK! Here is the GOOD:

Sunday 3/14: Oat Hill Mine Trail Calistoga 8 Miles, 2300 calorie burn

Wednesday 3/17: Pleasanton Ridge 3 Miles, 680 calorie burn

Friday 3/19: Pleasanton Ridge 3 Miles, 680 calorie burn

Saturday 3/20: Morrison Canyon (from Kristin's house) 6 Miles, 1200 calorie burn

Total Burn: 4,860 (that's 1.4 pounds!)

But then there's the bad:

1 Bag of Flamin' Hot Cheese Puffs

1 Night of Burrito and Margarita Madness

1 Night out with "People Who Call Themselves My Friends" but let me order the Sliders and Fries

1 Little League Snack Shack Super Nachos and Pack of Now & Laters (it's a Little League Snack Shack. I have to support the team!)

I hope I didn't undo all the hard work. I jumped on the scale (by accident, because my official weigh in is not for a few more weeks), and it's not looking too good. But we'll see! Wish me luck!

A Clothing Optional Wedding

I’m considering a “clothing optional” wedding. You see, a frightening thought occurred to me the other day. What IF, I lose some weight; drop a size or two, and my wedding dress, although it’s totally adorable on the model, does NOTHING for me? What if it doesn’t “flatter” at ALL? It wouldn’t be the first time that a dress that looks perfectly cute on someone else does nothing at all for me. This is going to sound strange to some, but I bet a good half of you (all 8 of you…Kristin accidentally signed up as a follower twice), will understand what I mean when I say: I look better naked.

Clothes just do not flatter my frame. I’m kind of tall-ish, and straight-ish. I don’t have a lot of curves…they’re really subtle…you have to look for them. And when they’re covered in clothing, they’re even harder to see. I have broad shoulders and almost no waist to speak of. I’m more Gabby Reese than Pamela Anderson. Less Marilyn, more Gidget (in midlife with 50 extra pounds). My saving grace is that I am kind of “leggy”, if I may say so myself. Plus, Rob tells me that there is “something about my muscle to bone ratio” (or something like that), that is incredibly sexy to him. Isn’t that an interesting compliment? I’ll TAKE it! His favorite line is “You are my density!” Aw! Yet clothing still does nothing for that (strangely specific) physical assessment.

Now for the naked part. Before I hop in the shower, sometimes I do a quick appraisal in the full length mirror (c’mon, you know you do too!). Sometimes I’ll even throw on a pair of stilettos if I really want to go for the “WOW” factor (you do that too, right?!). No matter what my weight, I always think I look pretty good! Of course I keep the curtains closed and adjust the lighting so it’s just right… I know it’s probably starting to sound like I go to a lot of trouble to do this; but really, it’s no trouble at all! (A little factoid here for people who don’t know me well - I like to use self-deprecating humor. If I don’t laugh at myself, who will? I actually have a pretty healthy self esteem too. If I don’t tell myself how hot I am once in a while, who will?). Anyway - then it’s on with the clothes. And suddenly, like bad voodoo magic, I have back fat around my bra (What? That wasn’t there a minute ago!?), and a muffin top (Where did THAT just come from?!). Seriously, the fat IS NOT there until I put clothes on. Clothing is the culprit! Imagine how hot Eve was in the Garden of Eden, all naked and mother-of-creation like, then she ate a piece of fruit (she was probably just trying to watch her figure), and suddenly she becomes a drab “slightly thick hipped” woman in a shapeless shift.

Now I totally understand the allure of the “clothing optional” resorts. We look at pictures (don’t “we”?), and think to ourselves “Um……I don’t know. I don’t... think...so.” But these people are free of their restrictive, roll-inducing clothing! They may not look great, but they look “better”. A game of tennis anyone? Absolutely! Ping Pong? Sure thing! How about a bike ride? No. I would have to draw the line somewhere.

The point is….maybe I should have a “clothing optional” wedding. That way, I know I will STUN (in a good way, and maybe bad. I’ve got a 50/50 shot here). Maybe half the guests won’t come. But the freaky weird ones will! (You know who you are, and that’s why we love you!).

My friend sent me a link to a story about a new phenomenon called “Vagazzling”. At the very least, if the dress doesn’t work out, I know that I can still “shine” on my special day. In white stilettos, of course! But I won’t be sitting down nor doing the chicken dance. That would just be wrong.

An Inconvenient Booth

I’ve had a bad week so far. And it’s only Tuesday. It started out with a UTI. Sure, maybe my UTI is a little TMI, but if you’ve ever had one, you can appreciate this post. Then, as I was leaving home today to pick Jacob up from school and shuttle him to his baseball game, my car exploded. Maybe “exploded” is a slight exaggeration, but there was a definite “fire cracker” sound, followed by a whistling sound, then it just stopped moving. I had to speed walk the two blocks home and hop into the old “un-registered”, “un-insured” white Volvo (we are mid-process in the state’s vehicle retirement program so we can get $1000 for it!). So, I had to drive in an un-registered vehicle, all the way from Pleasanton to Fremont, while my car was on the side of the road, feeling like I had to pee the entire time. Good times! Needless to say – when I got home and barked at Rob to “do the dishes or SOMETHING!”, he suggested we go out to eat. Yes!

Why is it that any time I am inconvenienced, or have had a bad day, dining out makes it all better? I love to cook. But for some reason, the allure of dining out is overwhelmingly strong at times.

As we sat on the patio at Fernando’s on this beautiful balmy evening, I (somewhat) sadly acknowledged my expanding belly while happily eating a Super Burrito chased with two margaritas. The basket of chips were nearly gone...had Rob had any? I glanced around and took note of all of the “well over 40” women clad in too-tight True Religion jeans paired with the ever so tasteful “high heeled flip flops”, then there was the guy with the black Bermuda shorts and combat boots, and it dawned on me that, well, really nothing dawned on me at all. We are all just people united in burritos and margaritas. It is what it is. Sometimes I cook and I eat healthy, and sometimes I go to Fernando’s. It reminded me of something my son said to me many years ago when he was about 4 ½. I asked him “Why do you cry on some days when I drop you off at daycare, and other days you don’t cry and you’re happy?” He told me “Mom, sometimes, a tree holds on to it’s leaves, and sometimes it lets them go and be’s naked. A thing just does what a thing does.”

This week, I am just a “thing” (not to be confused with “thin”), and so I will do what I do.

But tomorrow…..I HIKE!

Oat Hill Mine Trail - Calistoga

Rob and I hiked the Oat Hill Mine Trail today (part of it, anyway) on the Northern end of the Napa Valley in Calistoga. THIS is why we live in Northern California! We hiked half of the 8 mile trail; 4 miles up and 4 miles back down. We realized afterward (since I am amazingly consistent in my map forgetting abilities) that, had we gone another .25 mile, we would have seen the Holmes House, or the ruins of it anyway. Dang it! Also, had we gone the entire way, we would have ended up at the Robert Louis Stevenson Park trail head on the top of Mt. St. Helena where we would have been enveloped by the beautiful shady pines and fern groves that we drive through on our way to Clear Lake. Although we would have to hitch hike back to our car, given the condition we were in after just 8 miles. Next time!

Let me just say, between the sweeping views of the Napa Valley below, and the "Volcanic Wonderland" above, this hike is amazing! It's pretty steep. Not as steep as my local hikes, but much longer. It took us 5 hours from start to finish with a 1/2 hour stop for lunch. I got a good tank top sunburn too (way to go, strapless wedding dress girl!). Ah, there's still time.

The trail is pretty rocky, and there are a LOT of underground springs that make the going a little treacherous at times, but it's worth it! The first few miles are Fir, Oak, and Pine shaded. Eventually that gives way to Manzanita, scrub whatchamacallit, and it gets really rocky. The ridge of the mountain is made up of spiny, volcanic formations known as "The Palisades". Pretty spectacular!

Five hours after we started, we gimped back down to the trail head. My "Mio Drive" work out/heart rate monitor watch calculated a calorie burn of about 2300. And I believe it, let me tell you! We considered going out for burgers and beers, but why un-do all of that hard work?

Now, please excuse me while I pour a glass of wine and grill some salmon (basted with equal parts honey, mustard and soy sauce, dipped in a yogurt-garlic-dill sauce, with some wild rice and roasted asparagus on the side).

*Disclaimer - After the hike, we DID stop at a gas station/mini mart, where I procured a healthy sized bag of Flamin' Hot Cheese Puffs. 375 calories of the 2300 total can kiss my ass.

My Week in Hikes....

On Friday, Kathleen joined Kristin and I on our twice-weekly ridge hike. That's her "resting" at the picnic table at the top! Kathleen joins us on the Morrison Canyon hikes sometimes, so she actually did really well on this one.

All in all, I logged 4 hikes this week: (in addition to my occasional walks downtown and yoga, of course)

Sunday: Morrison Canyon, 4.5 miles with a 1600' elevation gain (pictures from that hike are in the Morrison Canyon Hike post from 3/7).

Tuesday: Pleasanton Ridge (via Augustin Bernal Park), easy 2 mile loop with a 800' gain

Wednesday:Pleasanton Ridge, 3 mile +/-, 1200' gain

Friday: Pleasanton Ridge, 3 mile +/-, 1200' gain

Somebody asked me if the elevation gain includes the starting elevation. Um...no. I guess I forgot about that. But both Fremont and Pleasanton are pretty close to sea level, so I guess I would only have to adjust the numbers slightly. It's still a lot of elevation gain. I figure we hiked about 4500' or so this week in 12.5 miles. That's a mountain!

Needless to say, I am off to Sport Chalet now to pick up my well deserved, complimentary, "I'd Rather Be Hiking" license plate frame.....and maybe a cute new hiking outfit. Tomorrow, Rob and I are getting up at 6am to hike the Oat Hill Mine Trail in Calistoga. This will be an awesome 8 mile hike on the beautiful Mt. Saint Helena and will deserve it's own post, I'm sure. Stay tuned!

Mirror mirror at the mall....I think my butt gettin' small!

But when I get home and try on my loot (y)
I see I’ve been had….I still got a big boot (y)


I hate shopping malls. I go maybe twice a year. And when I do go, I stick to the stores with their own entrances from the parking lot (Macy’s, Nordstrom, etc.) so that I don’t have to actually walk IN or THROUGH the “mall proper”.

On those few occasions that I go, I am almost always there for one reason and one reason only! A pair of jeans. Not just any jeans, but the ever elusive “Cute Butt Pants” (not commonly referred to as Cute Butt Jeans because it is quite possible that they will be corduroy, or other non-denim cotton).

C.B.P. is not a brand name, but it should be. We all have a pair (or so) of these C.B.P.’s in our closet. Whether or not we can still get into them, and they do what they once did (make our butts look cute) is what this blog is all about. I’ve had several pair in my past. I’m holding on to some of them….just in case. We all know what they are, and what they are supposed to do - secure, slim, and shape the butt while adding a little lift.

Over the years, I have figured out some specific guidelines that must be met for (most) women if they want a really cute butt pant:

1) Jeans/pants with no pockets only work if you have a perfect butt as it is. If you do already possess a perfect butt, you are a freak of nature.

2) They must be long enough in the leg. I have both observed and tested this equation: for every ¼ inch too short in the leg, the ass will widen proportionately.

3) Pockets with flaps and snaps work well if you tend toward “flatness” in your posterior region.

4) The pocket should cover roughly two thirds of the cheek. A too-small pocket will only accentuate a too-big butt.

5) Another equation: for every $25 you spend on jeans, your butt is reduced ¼”. For example: a $25 pair of jeans will make your butt look the biggest, a $50 pair will take a good ½” off the width of your behind, and if you spend $100, you’ve just whittled a full inch off your ass! The sky is the limit here.

The Cute Butt Pants phenomenon is nothing new. We women will often appraise our friends’ fashionably clad bottoms and pay compliments such as; “Oh, I like those on you. Cute butt pants!”

I have overheard (and I’ve said it myself): “Are these cute butt pants? They were when I bought them…I thought…” A true friend will be honest and tell you “Of course they are. You look HOT in those!”

Even Rob is down with the C.B.P. and will say “Wow! Those are cute butt pants!” (eyebrow raise/eyebrow raise/eyebrow raise)
He totally gets the subtleties. Either that or he sees the price tags and compliments accordingly.

Example A: I come home with buyer’s remorse, but hope shining brightly in my eyes: “CUTE butt pants, babe!!”

Example B: I grab a cheap pair at Target because they are “comfortable” and I can “run errands” in them: “Those look ok. Not cute butt pants per se’…but useful!”

Anyway – not only do I want to fit into my cute wedding dress….I want to rock the Cute Butt Pant again! This hiking really ought to do the trick!!!

In other news: I noticed today that Cheeto’s came out with “Flamin’ Hot Cheese Puffs”. DAMN them!!!

An Actual, Real Life Letter From A Blog Reader!!!

I actually received this letter today. I'm stoked!

The Cry For Help:

Dear Fitwife:
I have a question I am hoping you can answer. I am getting very frustrated with working out and not seeing any results! I mean, come on, it's been 2 1/2 months and my jelly roll is still in place. Am I missing something?
Sincerely,
Baffled, discouraged, and chunky in Oregon
:)

My Very Logical and Humanitarian Answer:

Dear Baffled, discouraged, and chunky in Oregon,
First of all – I barely know what I’m doing, so I’m not sure I should be giving advice. But since you’re my sister, I mean blog follower, you probably won’t sue me in the event that my advice goes terribly wrong.

With that said, I know who you are, and I’ve seen what you eat. Congratulations! You provide the most shockingly constant and steady stream of sugar to your blood stream that I have ever witnessed, and yet still remain relatively tiny. Where I gain 5 pounds and take copious amounts of naps when I hang out with you for a weekend, you remain small and jittery.

Your diet consists primarily of white bread/white pasta/white rice/sugar/fruit juice and caffeine. You do eat some salads, fruits and vegetables, although not nearly enough (condiments do not count toward fruits and vegetables, fyi).

I would not recommend that you make any drastic changes because I don’t want you to get discouraged and give up. Also, I don’t know how your body would react to a drop in it’s current sugar levels, but it makes me nervous to think about it. My advice is to keep up the exercise and make these small changes:

1) Go ahead and have your bagel with cream cheese or your sourdough toast for breakfast. But please have a piece of fruit with it. I’ve seen your attempt to eat whole wheat. We like (need) you to be happy in the morning – don’t sweat it if you really love your bagel and sourdough.
2) If you choose to have the starchy stuff in the morning however, do not then have a sandwich at lunch. For now we’re going to limit the starchy stuff to two meals a day, eventually one….maybe. Stick to soup and salad, or the insides of a burrito, or order Chinese take-out with no rice (broccoli beef is a good choice). If you KNOW that you’re going to have pasta or a sandwich for lunch, then you should acquire a taste for yogurt, because you must stop with the starchy stuff three times a day. This brings me to my next piece of advice.
3) I know that you will be having more pasta/rice/bread at dinner, just try to reduce the portion of pasta and bread slightly and load up your plate with more salad/vegetables. Keep your meats lean. You should have more green stuff on your plate than the pasta/meat. French bread should be an occasional treat, it’s nothing but a butter soaked delivery system for more starch….you don’t need it.
4) Fruit juices – Stop….It! You may as well mainline sugar. Save the calories for the real fruit. It breaks down more slowly on account of the fiber and junk in it. If you must have the sugary taste of fruit juice, try Crystal Light On The Go Flavor Packets in water. They have lots of great flavors (raspberry green tea and berry are my favorites). You’ll still get the sugar fruit taste but with none of the calories or sugar.
5) Eat more fruit – it’s “nature’s candy”. Berries are the way to go. Your beloved banana has lots of potassium, vitamin C and fiber, but the other fruits are loaded with anti-oxidants.

Thank you for writing and good luck!

Fitwife

My Size(s), They (have been) A Changin’

I thought it would be a “fun” little exercise to revisit my size and nutrition history. I don’t know what I was thinking. But here goes:

Birth to Aged 16: Skinny kid, tall and lanky with nicknames like “Stork”. I spent most days riding my horse, and most evenings at dance lessons or running around town with my girlfriends (and boyfriends, sshhhh!). My diet consisted of my horse’s carrots (or her grain if I was really starving), and one trip a day to the market across the street from the ranch for a bag of Munchos and a Mountain Dew.

Aged 16 to 24: Filled out a bit, though still thin for 5’8” at roughly 125-130 lbs. My diet consisted mainly of Beef Sticks & Cheese Puffs (meat & dairy), plus the introduction of Marlboro Lights, Beer, and Bubble Yum (fruits & vegetables).

Aged 24 to 28: Getting a little pudgy (“Hey! My Guess jeans keep shrinking!”). Cheese Puffs are still considered a “dairy” and Jack in the Box is my “go-to” hangover food. I quit smoking and suddenly, whoa, I'm pushing 170 pounds and wearing a size 14 Z Cavaricci jean! Being a size 14 at this height is not exactly clinically obese, but it was at about this time that well-meaning family members, who shall remain nameless, started expressing their “concern”.

Aged 28 to 35: A personal tragic event shook my foundation. I lost all the weight easily by developing a gigantic case of self loathing coupled with a slight eating disorder (I don’t recommend this diet). I eliminated my beloved Cheese Puffs (because they were poison to me now!! Oh, the drama of depression and disorders!). I had a baby, got divorced, lived on my own and struggled a bit financially as a single mom. My diet became toddler leftovers, red wine and I started smoking again from the stress of it all. Ahhh…nice and slim! My exercise consisted of lots of “dating” and "running around" when I didn’t have my son, and the other kind of “running around” (chasing after him) when I did have him. Who had time to eat? I was probably my thinnest adult weight at roughly 135 lbs and a size 4 or 6. Some people started to say “You’re too thin.” That was weird. But my mom said I was beautiful, so I figured I probably was. She doesn't just throw those types of compliments around. (Did I mention that I come from a family of tall Nordic people? They come from the land of the ice and snow and become thin by eating lots of cheese. Clearly, it's a recessive gene and I didn't get it).

Aged 36 to present (I’m 42 now): Quit smoking (for good), started hiking, finally became nutritionally mature, met a man like no other. But the no smoking thing; it isn't really working out so well for my butt. That, and not being stressed out about finances, an ex, or anything else for that matter, and enjoying my life (a little too thoroughly and with a good amount of excessive gusto) have all conspired to allow the pounds to creep back on.

I want all the thin-ness of a whacky, stressed out life, but without the whacky, stressed-out part of it. Is that even possible? Is it too much to ask?

The Weighing is the Hardest Part

30 days after starting my pilgrimage from Pudgedom to Sveltville, I stepped on the scale (gasp!), and guess what? I'm some bad-ass mathematician because I lost exactly 4 pounds! It's not a lot for 30 days by most dieter's standards, but it is exactly what I was aiming for with my 3500 calories per week deficit. I ate well and cooked a whole lot of awesome meals for my boys and I. I hiked so much that I no longer feel like an imposter when I receive all those emails from the Sierra Club. I kept all Cheeto products out of my house (well, there was the one time I bought a bag of Cheese Puffs for my son....for some reason....and they disappeared....somehow). But most importantly, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I can fit into my Big Star jeans that my hips had previosuly rejected, so that's something! I think a 4 pound loss with a ton of hiking must equal more like 8 pounds lost because of the muscles gained...yes, I'll call that the "Eline Formula of Weight Loss".

And here is the math: *(daily stats averaged over 30 days)

Calories needed to maintain my current weight: 2200 per day
Calories actually consumed: 1950 (average) per day (easy peasy lemon squeezy!)
Calories burned: 257 (average) per day - 3 hikes per week x 600 calories each
Weekly calorie deficit averages: 3550 = 1 pound

*The reason for averaging over a 30 day period is to account for Cheeto mishaps.

Think outside the butt. Wait, what?!

It’s been a month since Rob hid the scale. Yes, I am 30 days “clean”.

It’s been a few days since it’s been back in the bathroom. Yes, I’m afraid I may relapse.

I understand that it’s not the number on the scale, it’s how you look, feel, how your clothes fit, etc. But what if I’m doing the math wrong? What if I only think I’m doing everything right and I actually GAINED weight? There are so many variables – like building muscle, and (ok, that’s really all I’ve got). But do I even want to know my weight? My size 10 Big Star jeans fit me again. Isn’t that enough?

You see, I made a decision 30 days ago that, instead of relying on the scale, I will become more “intuitive” with my health habits. I will, of course, have some basic facts and figures in mind, but rely mostly on “what feels right” for my body, mind, and soul (pause here for eye-rolling). I must have been on some totally stellar yoga high that day and was feeling all “evolved” and “non-obsessive”; “OooOooh, look at meeee! Look how emotionally healthy I am! Check out my great body image!” I think I might have even said: “Would it be so terrible if I stayed this size? I look so greeeeaaaat!”

Now that the haze has lifted, and the bikinis are out in the stores, (and my wedding dress is waving at me coyly from the closet), I see clearly that, yeah no. I’m still the same scale-obsessed person I was before my moment of enlightenment. It’s funny how fleeting Nirvana can be.

Anyway, this has been my “modus operandi” for the past month: I used an online calculator to figure out my BMR (calories needed daily to maintain my current weight). My magic number is approximately 2200 calories per day. I figured that if I shave off 200-300 calories per day, and add the three hikes per week that we’ve been doing (which burn around 600 calories each) it should be pretty close to a 3500 calorie per week deficit which equals 1 pound of weight loss per week….right? Theoretically?

So do I really NEED to get on that scale? Feel free to “weigh in” (ha….ha ha ha….ha).

Morrison Canyon Hike

Today, Kristin and I were joined by my "soon-to-be-sister-in-law", Nikki. Now Nikki is an inspiration herslelf! She is on the "Couch to 5K" plan, walks daily, does her run/walk training, bowflexes a few times a week, and hikes! She wanted to come along even though I gave her fair warning about this particular climb. I think she enjoyed it.....and I think she might be a little sore tomorrow!

Just when we made it to the top and felt like super-human athletes, along comes a jogger. Cheery and full of energy. Giving US the thumbs-up. After running the entire hill. And backtracking to run parts of it OVER AGAIN with her husband who was lagging behind. Whatever.

Speaking of inspiration - early on in the trek, we came across an older gentleman with his cute little "granddog". He was resting and reveling in the natural beauty of the canyon. We stopped and chatted (partly to give Nikki an excuse to rest, this was her first time afterall!), and learned that he had had heart surgery not too long ago, had recently started walking and lost 40 pounds! He has lived beneath these hills for years and never climbed up the canyon. Today was going to be his day! He had only made it about a 1/3 of the way so far. We wished him well and moved on, thinking he would probably head down soon. We made it to the top, we touched our fence post (we're a little OCD that way), and started to head back down. Who do you think we spotted shuffling along but our dear friend, the old bad heart guy. He made it!!! He called his wife and sent her some pictures from his phone of the incredible views. We were all really excited for him.

Uphill Mountains

I don’t HAVE to choose just one activity – so I think I’ll do many! Hiking is the 2nd thing that seems to have a gravitational pull on me. The hiking that was once a weekly or bi-monthly outing has morphed into an “Extreme Hiking Situation”. My friend, Kristin, has motivated me (I like to think we motivate each other), to really push myself. If I can climb that hill once a week (“do you want to stop here, or do you have it in you to make it to the water fountain??” is her most often used line), why not do it twice and let’s throw in an even tougher hike once a week or so!?! We try to get in 3 hikes a week – two hikes up the Pleasanton Ridge and once a week up the ass-kicking Morrison Canyon. Both hikes are steep – the ridge has an elevation change of about 1200 feet in 1.5 miles, Morrison Canyon is a bit more brutal with a 1600 foot elevation gain in 2.25 miles. Don’t forget, we still have to come down again!

We are sort of informally training for the Sunol to Mission Peak hike, where we hope our significant others will be waiting for us with bags of In and Out and a ride to our car. ‘Cause that’s a hike I’m not doing round trip! More on that later.

There's Something About Yoga

I’ve always been pretty active and outdoorsy. I love walking, biking, hiking, camping, etc. I grew up on horseback and always had a lot of activities – tap, ballet, gymnastics, and modern dance. But yoga has always been there and has become an increasingly important part of my “well being” for at least the past 15 years.

I was first introduced to yoga when I was a kid. My mom did yoga from time to time and I happened upon one of her books: “Light On Yoga”, by BKS Iyengar. I was intrigued, tried some poses now and then, but was mostly into my horse and my modern dance classes. Starting in adulthood however, I returned to yoga when I was going through a particularly stressful time and have practiced it regularly (almost daily) for over a decade. It is one of those activities that I feel make me whole, relaxed, better. Although it is not a religious path, per se’, it did lead me to Buddhism in a roundabout way (although I promise you, doing yoga will NOT make you a Buddhist, no worries!). And I can tell a difference when I skip it for a few days!

If I had to choose just ONE activity. It would be yoga.

I’ve never believed in soul mates, or that a relationship could “make me whole”. But yoga – You complete me!!

So, who is #431?

#431 is a steer that my friend and I noticed one day while hiking the ridge. That's him to the left! He is very sweet and has tried to follow us on our hikes. He also wants to play with my dog, who is only interested in herding him. I was curious about #431 and his fellow steers (I was calling them cows for the longest time until someone corrected me!), so I contacted the East Bay Parks Dept to inquire. It turns out that the East Bay Parks Department has teamed up with some local ranchers, Wente Winery among them, and have started a “grass fed cattle” program. It’s symbiotic and genius. The ranchers are allowed to let their cattle graze the hills instead of being lot fed, and in return, the cattle keep the invasive plants to a minimum, reduce the fire hazard, etc. It made me realize that people are buying beef from Safeway that comes from god knows where, from animals that may or may not be treated humanely, are shot up with steroids and antibiotics…when the good stuff is literally right in our own backyard. This is something that should be made more public. Maybe I’ll do something about that……


#431 is special and has become a symbol and reminder for me to "be curious" about my food. He's sweet enough to make me consider vegetarianism, or at least stop eating beef. But alas, I do like my meat! I eat beef maybe once or twice a month. At least these steer are having a better youth than their feed lot counterparts!

I'm no foodie, but.....

I love the author Michael Pollan – I’ve read “The Botany of Desire”, “The Omnivore’s Dilemma”, and “In Defense of Food; An Eater’s Manifesto”. I’ve also seen Food Inc. and several more, equally disturbing documentaries shining a very unflattering light on “big food government” and the sorry state of our health as a result (corn, corn, corn!). About a year ago, I decided to eat more consciously. My Saturday morning shopping consists of hitting the Farmer’s Market for all of our produce (I love that we can have a year round market in the Bay Area!), then I go to Gene’s Fine Foods for our meat (shout out to Gene’s!). They sell only local, grass fed, humanely treated, cage free, antibiotic and hormone free animal products (yes I pay more for it, happy to do it). My last stop is Safeway – mostly for dry goods.

I think it is important to know what I am putting in my body, where my food comes from, what is IN it (you would be surprised how many items at the super market don’t even have real food products anywhere in their ingredients), how it effects the environment, etc. At the very least, I am supporting local farmers, encouraging the humane treatment of animals, and trying to keep the small stores in business who carry these quality items.

In the last few years, I have discovered a passion for cooking. I’m not a great chef, but I put in the effort, I love to try new things, and I love good food! If we go to our favorite mediterranean restaurant and try the Eggplant Borani and love it…I will attempt to make it at home. Feeding my family healthy, wholesome, and tasty meals that are consciously prepared, with high quality ingredients, is one of the ways I say “I love you!” Call me weird, but I’m like that. Rob claims he can "taste the love" (except on those few occasions when we have to order emergency take out)….but at least I try!

So what do I eat? Michael Pollan is the genius who gave me this credo:

"Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."

*Food being actual food. If it’s not a fruit, vegetable, dairy, or animal - it should have no more than 4 or 5 ingredients on the label, otherwise, I’m suspicious!

Fitwife? Really???

About the name “fitwife”: A friend of mine sent me, and another fitness-minded friend, a link to something called a “fitbit”. It’s an amazing piece of technology that you wear on your person and it tracks the calories burned throughout the day, steps taken, distance travelled, even how much good sleep you’re getting! It syncs up to a remote thingy (like an IPod docking station) and transfers your information to an on line profile that you create (where you can also track your food intake). I don’t know if I’ll actually buy one, I’ll let my friend try it out first and report back on it, but she decided to call hers a “fitbitch” (love it!). So, we all started tossing around some name ideas for OUR fitbits (most of which I won’t repeat here), and somebody suggested “fitwife” for mine. Aww, cute right? I know… Barf. But it stuck….and it’s cute. Besides, although I’m not the type to ever “identify myself” by various labels (I just "am"), I am totally stoked to soon become “Rob’s Wife”. So “fitwife” it is!

Ahem....here we go!

My first post!

As mentioned above, the purpose of this blog is purely self-indulgent, I admit (aren’t most blogs?). I just wanted a place where I can blog my views on nutrition & fitness, log my hikes, track my progress, and maybe even motivate or inspire others!

A few years ago, Rob and I started an informal hiking group and would plan hikes once or twice a month and invite our friends along. It was a lot of fun, but the varying levels of fitness, interests, and time constraints for everyone, made it difficult to gather people in one place at one time. So although the official club has sort of disbanded, I (living mere minutes from some of the most beautiful hiking trails in Northern California) have continued hiking – with my dog, with Rob, with Jacob, or with friends and family who share my love of the outdoors.

Currently, I have some more specific goals and I’m using the hikes to push myself to new levels of fitness. I quit smoking three and a half years ago (for good this time!) and of course, gained “a few” pounds. I’ve always eaten pretty healthfully, albeit maybe a bit too much, so there isn’t a whole lot of changes I can make to my diet (I could try eating slightly less, I suppose), but now, with a combination of nutrition and fitness, I plan on being a very “fitwife” indeed! Which brings me to another reason for “goal-setting”; our wedding is 4 months away and I have a dress hanging in my closet that I need to get into! Maybe I should buy a 2nd dress that actually fits me now? You think? Nah, I can do this – piece of cake!