I ate two hot dogs at the beach yesterday. There, I feel better. Now let’s move on, shall we?
My official monthly weigh in is next week. As usual, I had Rob pull the scale out of hiding a few days ago so that I can see where I am…I don’t like surprises. I stepped on the scale, anticipating loads of confetti dropping from the ceiling and uproarious applause from the audience (ala the Biggest Loser finale), but what in Sam Hill? It looks like I only lost a measly half pound from a MONTH ago! I know, I know…it’s not JUST the number on the scale. But considering I am also the same size as a month ago, I’m afraid it kind of is (although I still have to pull out the tape measure, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t shrunk any...maybe a tiny bit).
I fear I’ve hit the dreaded “Plateau”. I’m doing the same exact things that were working for the past few months, even trying to be a bit more careful with my eating, and definitely not seeing the “pay off”. Now usually, this wouldn’t be a big deal and it wouldn’t get me down...this much. But c’mon! A month before the wedding? At the beginning of bathing suit season? Could the timing for this stupid plateau be any worse?
Last night, I spent about two hours going through what felt suspiciously like “the grieving process”:
Denial: There’s no way I’ve only lost a half pound. I must have eaten something really salty and I’m just retaining a bunch of water, right? Maybe I lost 4 pounds, and then gained some “water weight” at my bachelorette weekend? I know….it’s muscle….!
Anger: Both at myself and at the Universe. I even heard Parker Posey’s voice say “Welcome to your 40’s, bitch!” (it’s weird, but you know that inner “negative talk” voice that we have that we’re supposed to learn to ignore and replace with “supportive, positive affirmations” because the negative voice keeps us trapped in a cycle of self loathing and feeling inadequate when really we’re all just fine the way we are? Well, mine sounds like Parker Posey’s character, Darla, from the movie “Dazed and Confused”. I bet it would be a lot easier to ignore my inner voice if it wasn’t the voice of an awesome indie actress like Parker Posey! I just love her!). But I digress…
Bargaining: Ok, if I start doing weight training and shave another few hundred calories from my already meager diet of fruits and nuts (it feels like), can I please, please just lose 5 more pounds this month!!??
Depression: Rob found me sitting in the back yard with my arms folded across my chest looking a bit pensive. He sat down across from me, his head tilted, studying my face for clues and looking a bit concerned (Ok, we were really just sitting outside having a beer and I stopped talking for about 30 seconds and crossed my arms because I was cold. But doesn’t my blog version sound much more dramatic?) Anyway - he DID look at me questioningly, and I lied and said I was trying to remember a recipe for a no-mayo tuna salad that my friend Kris told me about. But really I was kind of sad…for a couple of seconds there. Of course Rob already knew this because I had just finished going on and on about the how's and why's of my current mood (he really is lucky you know. I'm not the type to say "Oh, nothing." when he asks me "What's wrong?", in fact he rarely gets the chance to ask). I was just tired of feeling down and realized it was no longer constructive to keep talking about it. I was ready to move on to the next step in the process... and I was sort of thinking about that that no mayo tuna salad.
Acceptance: Mostly because I don’t like to be sad and it was time to move on. 5 minutes of depression is about 4 minutes too long if you ask me, life is too beautiful, amazing and short! But also because underneath the spastic exterior, I’m actually quite logical and reasonable (Idea...I should change my inner voice to that of Spock!). I do feel good. I feel healthy. I know that it’s more than how we look on the outside that is important in the larger scheme of things. I bet that, had I the forethought to take some vital measurements like body fat composition, blood pressure, blood sugar levels, cholesterol, etc., I would feel very pleased with my progress thus far!
So, the verdict is this: I’m not going to take up weight training, despite what I just read on About.com-breaking-through-weight-loss-plateaus, because I HATE weight training. I am, however, going to do more yoga. Yoga makes me feel like a goddess regardless of what I look like on the outside. If I can’t beat it (my body), I’ll just join it!
Now, I’m off to hike with Rob and some friends on this beautiful morning!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
30 Days and (not really) Counting!
Or thereabouts.... I don’t really do countdowns.
I survived the weekend bachelorette party!
I survived the weekend bachelorette party!
That's me up above with a glass of wine to my lips and a platter of assorted cheeses in front of me. Typical. I did as best I could under the circumstances! I do have to ask, however, who comes back from a relaxing weekend getaway with sore calf muscles?
After lugging all of our stuff from the car, down the path to the cabin, in three trips (even running up the hill for the last one), I made the executive decision, because I'm the bride, that Crazy 8’s would just be cruel and unnecessary, and that trekking up and down the path from the carport to the cabin mitigates the need for any and all additional physical exertion. We did go for some nature walks each day (about 3 miles or so each time), and even ran parts of them, but other than that, we enjoyed a lot of great food (pretty much all thanks to Kris' mad cooking skillz!), plenty of wine, cocktails and conversations! You know, our usual M.O. We had some visits from a few cousins and my mom, we played dirty Pictionary, and we even (almost) rustled up ourselves a willing “male entertainer”. He never actually showed which is just as well. He was a little bit on the “mature” side and may have had some difficulty with the path.
Now it’s crunch time. Looking at the pictures from the weekend, I can see a slight difference from a year ago to now. But not nearly commensurate with my hard work (I feel). I understand that it takes time, but I’m growing impatient and feel that I need to be in serious “crunch time” mode. Can I commit to one more month of “pound a week” weight loss? Yes, I can. I am...right now...committing to it.
Now it’s crunch time. Looking at the pictures from the weekend, I can see a slight difference from a year ago to now. But not nearly commensurate with my hard work (I feel). I understand that it takes time, but I’m growing impatient and feel that I need to be in serious “crunch time” mode. Can I commit to one more month of “pound a week” weight loss? Yes, I can. I am...right now...committing to it.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I've Earned My Spandex Badge! (in my mind)
Well, here we are at the end of week 10. Six weeks left until the “Big Day”! RSVP’s are trickling in, the “to do” list is being whittled down to almost nothing, and my work outs have finally, officially, become a “habit” that I look forward to every day, as much for the psychological benefits as for the physical ones!
The thought occurred to me this morning, as I caught a glimpse of my spandex-clad self in a downtown window, that perhaps I’m much more physically fit in my own mind, than I actually am in body at this point. They say that exercise can cause excessive confidence that may lead to inappropriate-clothing-wearing-for-body-type situations. I've been known to shun tight fitting revealing clothing even when thin...no need to flaunt the goods. But I’m a work in progress. Besides, the girl at the coffee shop said “Did you just finish your run? You look like you’ve lost a TON of weight!” I do tip her…daily…but the point is, maybe the hard work is at least starting to pay off and I’ve earned my spandex-wear badge?
This week I hiked twice, ran three times and did yoga three times. I also remembered (it's hot today!) that I live across the street from an aquatic center, so I’m considering adding some lap swimming a few mornings a week too, just to round things out. Considering.
Oh! And I’m having my “pre-wedding-bachelorette-all-girls weekend” at my family’s cabin next weekend. I can’t WAIT! But don’t for a second think that I’ll just be eating, drinking and working on my tan all weekend. There will be a fair share of that, of course, but I’ve decided it would be “fun” to play some “Crazy-Eights” Clear Lake style! Picture a giant H. The left “I” is a switch back trail that leads from the road down to the beach (the cabin is midway down the path). The right “I” is a staircase that leads from the beach up to the road (not just a little staircase either, it’s about a city block in length), and the connecting “-“ in the middle of the H is a path that leads from the mid-way point of the stairs, back over to the cabin. Do you see where I’m going with this idea? Imagine how many times you could run (or walk, or crawl) a “figure 8” pattern using the path/road/stairs/beach? CRAZY is RIGHT!!! Oh, those girls don’t know what they’re in for! Of course this is an optional game that will also require one or two people to sit on the porch counting laps while sipping coffee…or a bloody mary. I’ll be sure to take pictures and report back!
The thought occurred to me this morning, as I caught a glimpse of my spandex-clad self in a downtown window, that perhaps I’m much more physically fit in my own mind, than I actually am in body at this point. They say that exercise can cause excessive confidence that may lead to inappropriate-clothing-wearing-for-body-type situations. I've been known to shun tight fitting revealing clothing even when thin...no need to flaunt the goods. But I’m a work in progress. Besides, the girl at the coffee shop said “Did you just finish your run? You look like you’ve lost a TON of weight!” I do tip her…daily…but the point is, maybe the hard work is at least starting to pay off and I’ve earned my spandex-wear badge?
This week I hiked twice, ran three times and did yoga three times. I also remembered (it's hot today!) that I live across the street from an aquatic center, so I’m considering adding some lap swimming a few mornings a week too, just to round things out. Considering.
Oh! And I’m having my “pre-wedding-bachelorette-all-girls weekend” at my family’s cabin next weekend. I can’t WAIT! But don’t for a second think that I’ll just be eating, drinking and working on my tan all weekend. There will be a fair share of that, of course, but I’ve decided it would be “fun” to play some “Crazy-Eights” Clear Lake style! Picture a giant H. The left “I” is a switch back trail that leads from the road down to the beach (the cabin is midway down the path). The right “I” is a staircase that leads from the beach up to the road (not just a little staircase either, it’s about a city block in length), and the connecting “-“ in the middle of the H is a path that leads from the mid-way point of the stairs, back over to the cabin. Do you see where I’m going with this idea? Imagine how many times you could run (or walk, or crawl) a “figure 8” pattern using the path/road/stairs/beach? CRAZY is RIGHT!!! Oh, those girls don’t know what they’re in for! Of course this is an optional game that will also require one or two people to sit on the porch counting laps while sipping coffee…or a bloody mary. I’ll be sure to take pictures and report back!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
My Stats, My Stats...I Forgot My Stats!
I forgot to log my progress as I was waxing philosophic yesterday!
So - to date, I have lost 11 pounds and 5 1/2 inches total. It doesn't seem like a lot, considering it's been 3-4 months (and I've been blogging for the past two of them) but I can start to see and feel the difference. And while my clothes aren't exactly hanging off of me, at least they're getting looser and I can fit comfortably into jeans that weren't so comfy a year ago. I also caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror yesterday (Ok, I was ogling myself and yelled for Rob to come in so he could ogle me too), my legs, from the side, are starting to look like the legs of someone who actually works out, and my belly can be sucked in to some semblance of flatness!
I recently read an article (actually several articles) that discuss long term weight loss. Losing weight, as in real weight/actual pounds of fat, takes time. Most weight loss studies won't even start measuring changes in a person until 4-6 months into the program. That is when you will typically start to see real results. So while it seems like it's taking a long time, even though I'm cutting between 2500 - 3500 calories a week and hiking, walking, running, dancing like a crazy person (or maybe just an "active" person?), the pay off is slow. This is why so many people give up. They want to see the instant results of a 30 day weight loss plan...but those results aren't real OR lasting. You have to stick with the lifestyle changes for the long run (pun intended). It will be worth it, I know it!
Now today, being Mother's Day, I will be feasting at the Pleasanton Hotel! But I will also be dancing my butt off later this afternoon. It's all about balance, right?
So - to date, I have lost 11 pounds and 5 1/2 inches total. It doesn't seem like a lot, considering it's been 3-4 months (and I've been blogging for the past two of them) but I can start to see and feel the difference. And while my clothes aren't exactly hanging off of me, at least they're getting looser and I can fit comfortably into jeans that weren't so comfy a year ago. I also caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror yesterday (Ok, I was ogling myself and yelled for Rob to come in so he could ogle me too), my legs, from the side, are starting to look like the legs of someone who actually works out, and my belly can be sucked in to some semblance of flatness!
I recently read an article (actually several articles) that discuss long term weight loss. Losing weight, as in real weight/actual pounds of fat, takes time. Most weight loss studies won't even start measuring changes in a person until 4-6 months into the program. That is when you will typically start to see real results. So while it seems like it's taking a long time, even though I'm cutting between 2500 - 3500 calories a week and hiking, walking, running, dancing like a crazy person (or maybe just an "active" person?), the pay off is slow. This is why so many people give up. They want to see the instant results of a 30 day weight loss plan...but those results aren't real OR lasting. You have to stick with the lifestyle changes for the long run (pun intended). It will be worth it, I know it!
Now today, being Mother's Day, I will be feasting at the Pleasanton Hotel! But I will also be dancing my butt off later this afternoon. It's all about balance, right?
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Week 9 & My Non-Epiphany
Well, here we are at the end of week 9.
I ran, I hiked, I danced, I weighed in and found (no surprise) that I lost a few pounds from the previous month, but I have to confess, I’ve become a little bored with blogging. I’m not sure if “bored” is the right word to use. I just feel like I’ve said all I have to say…for now. If I think of something else, I’ll be sure to jot it down.
You see, I feel a perceptible shift in “things”. Before, I felt like I was on some great journey. I packed my bags, bought my ticket, announced my itinerary to friends and family, and climbed aboard the train to Sveltville. I had someplace to go, a goal to achieve, pitfalls to avoid, milestones to celebrate, quip-y anecdotes to share. But somehow between the beginning and now, I’ve become the journey, rather than being on one. I am the baggage (ha ha), the ticket, the itinerary, the train, the starting point, and the destination, all at the same time. I didn’t “lose myself in the journey”, nor have I “found myself on the journey". I didn't have a sudden, great realization or an amazing epiphany. In fact, by epiphany standards, it would have been quite disappointing. The bottom line is that I quietly, and with very little fanfare, realized that I was cognizant of these things. I am now, and always have been, both the beginning and end of the journey. Get it? I barely do.
As with anything in life, once you start down a path of one sort or another, it usually doesn't take long, if all goes well, to realize that you have never "not been" the path itself. Same thing here. We are not individual leaves floating on a river, we are all river. I guess it was only a matter of time before I became the train I boarded. That's how I roll (get it?).
So what does it all mean? Nothing, really. It means I am in a good flow. I am happy, excited about the wedding, feel good about myself, feel fit and healthy, and I must add that I am quite impressed with my body's willingness and ability to meet the physical demands I place on it. I doubt I was this fit in my 20's!
It certainly doesn’t make for very exciting or entertaining writing though. But I thought I'd share anyway...because that's what I do!
I ran, I hiked, I danced, I weighed in and found (no surprise) that I lost a few pounds from the previous month, but I have to confess, I’ve become a little bored with blogging. I’m not sure if “bored” is the right word to use. I just feel like I’ve said all I have to say…for now. If I think of something else, I’ll be sure to jot it down.
You see, I feel a perceptible shift in “things”. Before, I felt like I was on some great journey. I packed my bags, bought my ticket, announced my itinerary to friends and family, and climbed aboard the train to Sveltville. I had someplace to go, a goal to achieve, pitfalls to avoid, milestones to celebrate, quip-y anecdotes to share. But somehow between the beginning and now, I’ve become the journey, rather than being on one. I am the baggage (ha ha), the ticket, the itinerary, the train, the starting point, and the destination, all at the same time. I didn’t “lose myself in the journey”, nor have I “found myself on the journey". I didn't have a sudden, great realization or an amazing epiphany. In fact, by epiphany standards, it would have been quite disappointing. The bottom line is that I quietly, and with very little fanfare, realized that I was cognizant of these things. I am now, and always have been, both the beginning and end of the journey. Get it? I barely do.
As with anything in life, once you start down a path of one sort or another, it usually doesn't take long, if all goes well, to realize that you have never "not been" the path itself. Same thing here. We are not individual leaves floating on a river, we are all river. I guess it was only a matter of time before I became the train I boarded. That's how I roll (get it?).
So what does it all mean? Nothing, really. It means I am in a good flow. I am happy, excited about the wedding, feel good about myself, feel fit and healthy, and I must add that I am quite impressed with my body's willingness and ability to meet the physical demands I place on it. I doubt I was this fit in my 20's!
It certainly doesn’t make for very exciting or entertaining writing though. But I thought I'd share anyway...because that's what I do!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Week 8, Two Months Down, Two To Go!!
Although my official weigh in isn't until next week, I had Rob pull out the scale just to make sure I won't have to fast between now and then. It turns out...based on preliminary weights and measures...that I am officially OUT of the 160's and into the 150's! 5 more pounds and I will be the weight I was when I met Rob 6 years ago. Then another 5 and I'll be out of the 150's and into the 140's where, I feel, I belong! Will I get there before the wedding? Don't know...don't care! I'm happy with where I am and where I'm going (in time).
This morning Rob said "When is your Clear Lake trip again? Two or three weeks? Wow! I'd say you're bikini ready NOW!" (I added the "wow" for dramatic affect). Considering we have a private beach at the lake house....yes...I'm bikini ready!
This week:
Sunday: Hike Augustine Bernal Park/Pleasanton Ridge
Monday: Run/Walk 3 miles
Wednesday: Hike rained out!! Yoga instead!
Thursday: Run/Walk 3 miles
Friday: Pleasanton Ridge
Saturday: Run/Walk 3 miles
Yoga X 3
For those concerned...I'm super excited about the wedding, and no longer a stress case! Now, I'm really enjoying myself. I never thought I'd be so excited to be a married lady (again)!
This morning Rob said "When is your Clear Lake trip again? Two or three weeks? Wow! I'd say you're bikini ready NOW!" (I added the "wow" for dramatic affect). Considering we have a private beach at the lake house....yes...I'm bikini ready!
This week:
Sunday: Hike Augustine Bernal Park/Pleasanton Ridge
Monday: Run/Walk 3 miles
Wednesday: Hike rained out!! Yoga instead!
Thursday: Run/Walk 3 miles
Friday: Pleasanton Ridge
Saturday: Run/Walk 3 miles
Yoga X 3
For those concerned...I'm super excited about the wedding, and no longer a stress case! Now, I'm really enjoying myself. I never thought I'd be so excited to be a married lady (again)!
