Really? It's only week 7? It feels like forever.
Notice I didn't type "Week in Hikes"? That's because I am more of an "all around" athlete now, what with the running, hiking, yoga, etc. So much so, that I've decided I've earned the right to wear my cute running/hiking pants and sport tanks any time I like without being a complete poser. Chances are, I'm either coming from a hike, run, or yoga practice, or on my way to a hike, run, or yoga practice.
Then there's work of course. Do they make "dress" running pants? Because I'm really digging the "Sporty Spice" look.
Here's what I did this week:
Sunday: Run/Walk 3 miles - 330 cals
Wednesday: Hike Pleasanton Ridge - 680 cals
Thursday: Run/Walk 3 miles - 330 cals
Friday: Hike Pleasanton Ridge - 680 cals
Saturday: Run/Walk 3 miles - 330 cals
Yoga X 2 (a little "Light on Yoga" this week - pardon the pun, you yogis will get it!)
Whew! All right. I think I'll repeat Week 1 of the running program next week just to make sure I'm easing into it slowly enough. I felt a little ankle twinge during my 2nd run this week. I'm hoping it's just a "ghost" pain caused by my fear of a repeat injury. Is there such a thing? Knowing how my hypochondriacal mind works, I'm sure there is!
Oh, I almost forgot! I am awarding myself a merit badge this week because I brought a Subway Fresh Fit (tm) lunch to Jacob's game today! No nachos for me this time! (but there was Thursday....).
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
What Did I Just Do?
Oh, and my “Week in Hikes -Week 6"!
It’s Monday, and the endorphin rush of the past weekend has fizzled out somewhat. I was on a virtual runner's high (somebody else's), what with so many near and dear ones crushing their personal fitness goals and breezing victoriously across finish lines, 5k’s to Marathons!
Somewhere between the excitement of race days and my “girl-power” post, I signed up for a half marathon. I thought it was a great idea at the time, and it probably still is, especially because it’s a “Rock ‘n Roll” marathon! My sister and good friends are all on board. I even convinced my best friend, who hasn’t been “in training” for anything in a very long while, to give it a go!
The thing is, I drove roughly 13.1 miles to work this morning (the equivalent of a half-marathon) and even that was difficult (my car stereo is broken and I had to go to the bathroom). I can’t imagine running that distance. So at this point, I’m only committing to walking it. If they allowed Segways or golf carts, I'd be even more confident that I can complete it.
I’ve heard that while you should train your body for distance and endurance, you should really only think one mile at a time. It’s a psychological thing. Maybe I made it up…I’m not exactly sure where I heard it, but it sounds like good advice to me. So this may be the last time I refer to "13.1 miles" in my blog. I'm just going to start with where I am. Mile zero.
Perhaps you know my personal history and relationship with running, perhaps not. Here is a brief synopsis; Running has always been in the back of my mind. I’ve always thought it looked like something I would enjoy, that I might even be good at! The only athletic thing I’ve ever “mastered” other than horseback riding, is the art of ducking; ducking when a basket ball comes whizzing toward my head, ducking at the plate or in the outfield when a tiny round leather rocket comes hurtling toward me. But running…I bet I'm a natural! It would be me and the wind against the world! Or so I thought.
I used to run a little bit in my 20’s. Enough that I got fitted for shoes and regularly ran a 3 mile loop by my house (alternating between walking and running). But I had no clue what I was doing and never advanced past a certain distance. I had terrible lung capacity (thank you Philip Morris), and my shins always burned after the first half mile or so. I did not "float effortlessly". I lumbered along painfully like a water buffalo after being bitten by a giant monitor lizard (I saw this on the Discovery Channel and it looked all too familiar). The wind was my enemy, not the romantic running partner I had envisioned. This was also during one of my many “non-smoking” periods. As soon as I picked up smoking again, the running fell by the wayside.
Fast forward 15 years. After being smoke-free for a few years (and for good this time), my desire to be "one with the wind” became overwhelming again. It doesn’t help that Pleasanton has more runners per capita than any other place on earth. I can’t get 20 feet from my front door without being visually accosted by legions of ultra-fit (or those on a mission to become so), pony tail swinging, fancy running ensemble wearing, leggy, toned & tanned runners.
So, I got fitted for some new running shoes, which really helped with the shin pain, and started training for a 5k. As soon as I made it a mile without stopping (not effortlessly or in any way “floaty”, mind you), I signed up for a running clinic. One week in, I suffered from (what I believed to be) a hairline fracture in my right ankle. I had twisted my ankle a tiny bit hiking, then managed to finish it off with my next run. I was off my foot for two months. I finally acknowledged that running was just not for me. Apparently, I’m not made for running. Not with these pencil ankles and the lung capacity of an 80 year old. Forget it!
As soon as I was able to walk again, I took up hiking instead. And that’s what I’ve been doing ever since. I figured if I can’t run, I can push myself up mountains…walking.
Well, here I am again. A year later, totally inspired and craving that ever illusive runner’s high, and not just the kind I get from reading Runner’s World magazine either. I want the real thing. I’ve got new shoes, some "motivational running apparel" (I do run better in cute running pants, I knew I would!), the Couch to 5K podcast on my Ipod, and the half marathon 6 months away.
I did my first interval training work out yesterday. I guess all of the hiking I’ve been doing has improved my cardiovascular fitness tremendously because it was effortless! I floated! The wind and I, running together this time! I even cried a little bit, ok, I sobbed for just a split second, when the voice of Robert Ullreys on my Ipod said; “Great job, you did it!” Maybe I was a bit overly emotional, it was only 8 - one minute intervals of running, after all. But to me it was huge. Like Barack winning the Presidency huge. Ok, totally not that huge. But you can feel my relief and sense of accomplishment, right? My passion, my perseverance and tenacity? My theory is that, since I want to be a runner so badly, I must be destined for running greatness! If I ever cross a finish line of any distance, I'm sure I will be a blubbering mess.
This time, I vow to build up slowly and hike carefully.
Oh yeah, and my hikes: I hiked Wednesday and Friday, did lot’s of yoga this week and RAN on Sunday!
I ate healthfully, no confessions this week! I even found a "healthier cheese puff" if you can believe it. And my weight? I don’t really care. I RAN on Sunday!!
It’s Monday, and the endorphin rush of the past weekend has fizzled out somewhat. I was on a virtual runner's high (somebody else's), what with so many near and dear ones crushing their personal fitness goals and breezing victoriously across finish lines, 5k’s to Marathons!
Somewhere between the excitement of race days and my “girl-power” post, I signed up for a half marathon. I thought it was a great idea at the time, and it probably still is, especially because it’s a “Rock ‘n Roll” marathon! My sister and good friends are all on board. I even convinced my best friend, who hasn’t been “in training” for anything in a very long while, to give it a go!
The thing is, I drove roughly 13.1 miles to work this morning (the equivalent of a half-marathon) and even that was difficult (my car stereo is broken and I had to go to the bathroom). I can’t imagine running that distance. So at this point, I’m only committing to walking it. If they allowed Segways or golf carts, I'd be even more confident that I can complete it.
I’ve heard that while you should train your body for distance and endurance, you should really only think one mile at a time. It’s a psychological thing. Maybe I made it up…I’m not exactly sure where I heard it, but it sounds like good advice to me. So this may be the last time I refer to "13.1 miles" in my blog. I'm just going to start with where I am. Mile zero.
Perhaps you know my personal history and relationship with running, perhaps not. Here is a brief synopsis; Running has always been in the back of my mind. I’ve always thought it looked like something I would enjoy, that I might even be good at! The only athletic thing I’ve ever “mastered” other than horseback riding, is the art of ducking; ducking when a basket ball comes whizzing toward my head, ducking at the plate or in the outfield when a tiny round leather rocket comes hurtling toward me. But running…I bet I'm a natural! It would be me and the wind against the world! Or so I thought.
I used to run a little bit in my 20’s. Enough that I got fitted for shoes and regularly ran a 3 mile loop by my house (alternating between walking and running). But I had no clue what I was doing and never advanced past a certain distance. I had terrible lung capacity (thank you Philip Morris), and my shins always burned after the first half mile or so. I did not "float effortlessly". I lumbered along painfully like a water buffalo after being bitten by a giant monitor lizard (I saw this on the Discovery Channel and it looked all too familiar). The wind was my enemy, not the romantic running partner I had envisioned. This was also during one of my many “non-smoking” periods. As soon as I picked up smoking again, the running fell by the wayside.
Fast forward 15 years. After being smoke-free for a few years (and for good this time), my desire to be "one with the wind” became overwhelming again. It doesn’t help that Pleasanton has more runners per capita than any other place on earth. I can’t get 20 feet from my front door without being visually accosted by legions of ultra-fit (or those on a mission to become so), pony tail swinging, fancy running ensemble wearing, leggy, toned & tanned runners.
So, I got fitted for some new running shoes, which really helped with the shin pain, and started training for a 5k. As soon as I made it a mile without stopping (not effortlessly or in any way “floaty”, mind you), I signed up for a running clinic. One week in, I suffered from (what I believed to be) a hairline fracture in my right ankle. I had twisted my ankle a tiny bit hiking, then managed to finish it off with my next run. I was off my foot for two months. I finally acknowledged that running was just not for me. Apparently, I’m not made for running. Not with these pencil ankles and the lung capacity of an 80 year old. Forget it!
As soon as I was able to walk again, I took up hiking instead. And that’s what I’ve been doing ever since. I figured if I can’t run, I can push myself up mountains…walking.
Well, here I am again. A year later, totally inspired and craving that ever illusive runner’s high, and not just the kind I get from reading Runner’s World magazine either. I want the real thing. I’ve got new shoes, some "motivational running apparel" (I do run better in cute running pants, I knew I would!), the Couch to 5K podcast on my Ipod, and the half marathon 6 months away.
I did my first interval training work out yesterday. I guess all of the hiking I’ve been doing has improved my cardiovascular fitness tremendously because it was effortless! I floated! The wind and I, running together this time! I even cried a little bit, ok, I sobbed for just a split second, when the voice of Robert Ullreys on my Ipod said; “Great job, you did it!” Maybe I was a bit overly emotional, it was only 8 - one minute intervals of running, after all. But to me it was huge. Like Barack winning the Presidency huge. Ok, totally not that huge. But you can feel my relief and sense of accomplishment, right? My passion, my perseverance and tenacity? My theory is that, since I want to be a runner so badly, I must be destined for running greatness! If I ever cross a finish line of any distance, I'm sure I will be a blubbering mess.
This time, I vow to build up slowly and hike carefully.
Oh yeah, and my hikes: I hiked Wednesday and Friday, did lot’s of yoga this week and RAN on Sunday!
I ate healthfully, no confessions this week! I even found a "healthier cheese puff" if you can believe it. And my weight? I don’t really care. I RAN on Sunday!!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Women are awesome!!
Tonight, I am proud and I am humbled. This is a somewhat mushy post, so get your tissues or log off if you feel like it. I’ll lighten up again one day, I promise. But today…I mush!
Women are awesome. There is no tool available that can measure the depth of her soul or her ability to mother, to be a friend, a sister, a partner, an athlete, a mentor, a teacher, an example, and an inspiration to others.
This month I've witnessed the women I love accomplishing so much. From running their first 5k's, their first marathon, or training for an Ironman, to showing the equally phenomenal emotional strength and compassion it takes to mother a sick child through a lengthy illness.
There is the woman selling home baked cookies on the internet because cut-throat corporate America doesn't see her true value. And the woman taking a once in a lifetime opportunity to travel halfway across the country to learn an alternative healing method because she believes she can use it to heal her patients. One woman travels across continents to a disaster torn country to be with the man she loves, and another woman tentatively "puts herself out there" for the first time to try her luck at love, once again, in this crazy world. And these are just a few of the women I know. I have a feeling there are stories in each of you.
I am humbled in the presence of these (you) women, and "inspired" falls short as a word used to describe how I feel.
Women aren't amazing because they have any special powers. They aren't vixens or sirens. They don't need to use their sexuality to feel powerful (Tiger…Jesse, you feel me?). Real women just "are". Most women don’t even have the time or the impetus to think about “how powerful or awesome they are”. That kind of thinking isn’t conducive to their goals. They just do what needs to be done. There is no real ego involved in any of their accomplishments, just the desire to challenge themselves, to love, and of course, necessity.
Yeah, I hike up hills. Yeah, I’ve lost a few pounds and fit into a dress. But today I bought some new running shoes. Today I told the pregnant-mother-athlete-teacher-inspiration who also works at Fleet Feet that I want to run so badly….and I don’t know why I can’t stop trying. She got it. I didn’t need to explain.
Maybe it was all the women I saw at the Mermaid Run today. Nothing but women. Happy women. And for every woman struggling, and for every woman achieving her goals, there were a hundred women behind her – urging her to go on, or celebrating her success. Just as it is in real life.
Today, I saw a woman running with a baby in a stroller and a toddler, barely hanging on, under her arm…laughing at the ridiculousness of it all…as she crossed the finish line.
Women are amazing, that is for sure.
Women are awesome. There is no tool available that can measure the depth of her soul or her ability to mother, to be a friend, a sister, a partner, an athlete, a mentor, a teacher, an example, and an inspiration to others.
This month I've witnessed the women I love accomplishing so much. From running their first 5k's, their first marathon, or training for an Ironman, to showing the equally phenomenal emotional strength and compassion it takes to mother a sick child through a lengthy illness.
There is the woman selling home baked cookies on the internet because cut-throat corporate America doesn't see her true value. And the woman taking a once in a lifetime opportunity to travel halfway across the country to learn an alternative healing method because she believes she can use it to heal her patients. One woman travels across continents to a disaster torn country to be with the man she loves, and another woman tentatively "puts herself out there" for the first time to try her luck at love, once again, in this crazy world. And these are just a few of the women I know. I have a feeling there are stories in each of you.
I am humbled in the presence of these (you) women, and "inspired" falls short as a word used to describe how I feel.
Women aren't amazing because they have any special powers. They aren't vixens or sirens. They don't need to use their sexuality to feel powerful (Tiger…Jesse, you feel me?). Real women just "are". Most women don’t even have the time or the impetus to think about “how powerful or awesome they are”. That kind of thinking isn’t conducive to their goals. They just do what needs to be done. There is no real ego involved in any of their accomplishments, just the desire to challenge themselves, to love, and of course, necessity.
Yeah, I hike up hills. Yeah, I’ve lost a few pounds and fit into a dress. But today I bought some new running shoes. Today I told the pregnant-mother-athlete-teacher-inspiration who also works at Fleet Feet that I want to run so badly….and I don’t know why I can’t stop trying. She got it. I didn’t need to explain.
Maybe it was all the women I saw at the Mermaid Run today. Nothing but women. Happy women. And for every woman struggling, and for every woman achieving her goals, there were a hundred women behind her – urging her to go on, or celebrating her success. Just as it is in real life.
Today, I saw a woman running with a baby in a stroller and a toddler, barely hanging on, under her arm…laughing at the ridiculousness of it all…as she crossed the finish line.
Women are amazing, that is for sure.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The dress fits! Somebody get me some nachos, STAT!
Ok, ok, ok....breathe......breathe some more.
After some serious melt-down venting in my last post, and making a list of "all the little things" that need doing, and discussing the best way to tackle the list with Rob, and whining to a few close friends and family, and getting their perspective, and remembering to be joyful, and a nice hike in the fresh air, I've decided that bridezilla isn't a good color on me.
This morning I tried on my dress, and with Rob's help, it zipped ALL the way up! I couldn't breathe very well, but who cares about a little thing like oxygen! It FITS!
Now I can start having fun, and continue on into the wee hours of the stellar party we're throwing for all of our close friends and family (and ourselves, of course)!
It's going to be great...and I mean that, I'm not just saying it to make myself feel better.
Now, time to get on with it!
After some serious melt-down venting in my last post, and making a list of "all the little things" that need doing, and discussing the best way to tackle the list with Rob, and whining to a few close friends and family, and getting their perspective, and remembering to be joyful, and a nice hike in the fresh air, I've decided that bridezilla isn't a good color on me.
This morning I tried on my dress, and with Rob's help, it zipped ALL the way up! I couldn't breathe very well, but who cares about a little thing like oxygen! It FITS!
Now I can start having fun, and continue on into the wee hours of the stellar party we're throwing for all of our close friends and family (and ourselves, of course)!
It's going to be great...and I mean that, I'm not just saying it to make myself feel better.
Now, time to get on with it!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Call the Police, I’ve Lost My Mind!
Which should be good for about 3 pounds, right? It’s not all bad.
Don’t I look sane and happy in the picture? That’s because A) It’s a party, B) I’m a Blood Orange Martini and a Mai Tai in to it, 3) I just noshed my way through about five kinds of appetizers, and 4) I’m five minutes away from receiving what proved to be a mouth watering meal of Hawaiian Butter Fish prepared Wasabi style with Wasabi sauce and Wasabi Mashed Potatoes. It was heavenly. Good people + good food = good party!
Back to reality. The scale is gone. I’m eating healthfully and hiking blah blah blah. But what I really need to do is YOGA & MEDITATION. EVERY DAY. Because I am losing my mind.
I realized today, while pondering the whereabouts of my mind, that while I do have a “slight deadline” to fit into my dress, I think I’ve been using this blog, my hiking log, and my food journal, as a sort of distraction from the fact that we’re throwing a huge party in about two months. I didn’t even realize it was two months away until this morning when I was talking to my good friend, Hermelinda, on the phone. I think she said “Your wedding is only two months away!” about five times and five different ways, from “Gosh, your wedding is only two months away!” to “Wow, your wedding is right around the corner!” All while I was detailing (what I suspect to be) my stress-related physical ailments.
I don’t really show stress on the outside, most people think I’m pretty calm, cool, and collected. That cracks me up. When I’m stressed out, I may be a pillar of calm on the outside, but I get really bizarre, random, and quite possibly (in my mind anyway) life threatening health issues. I don’t go to the doctor for any of these ailments because I don’t want to be given “the bad news” this close to my wedding day (or be committed).
My ailments range from weird, inexplicable pains in strange places, to persistent but vague shoulder blade-area nerve damage. Some new ones are excessive urination (yes, you read that right), and the occasional bloody nose. Soon, I will begin to feel that I can’t take a deep breath, I’ll develop a strange “lump in my throat” sensation when I swallow (which I will start to do excessively to check to see if the “lump in my throat” sensation is still there), and a myriad of other interesting and strange “feelings”. That’s just how I roll. You would think that if I know this about myself, I could talk myself down. But stress also clouds the mind and makes you think it's a new problem each time, and then it will even throw in some surprise symptoms to make sure you know you're really dying this time.
To add to all of this nonsense, I also have to go into the office more now. My boss gave me a third branch. He called me and was really hesitant to ask me if I wanted it. He said something like, “I know you have the wedding coming up and everything…” He’s an older gentleman, nicest man in the world, and he’s not a sexist, as sexist as his “concern” may sound to some. You see, I had called him the week prior to tell him I couldn’t stop my nose from gushing blood and I was supposed to meet a client in 10 minutes. He said “That could be a sign of high blood pressure.” To which I replied “Damn straight! I’m losing my mind and I’m pretty sure my head is exploding from stress.” But I insisted on the additional branch (I told him I had to pay for the wedding somehow and would really like an opportunity to make some additional cash!).
Anyway, the thought occurred to me (it’s amazing that one can think when one has lost one’s mind), that I don’t want to just be a fitwife in body only. I should probably make sure that my mind is sound as well. Yes, that might even be more important. It’s funny that this thought just occurred to me.
Here is what needs doing:
Invitations
Marriage License
Vows
Shoes for me
Clothes for Rob and Jacob
Flowers
Final meeting with caterer, etc. (you should SEE the list of “questions and concerns” I have for them!)
Buy beverages
Order desert
Be joyful
I really need to practice "being joyful” because “being stressed out” just isn’t working for me.
When I realized yesterday that we better get down to the “Invitation Store” to peruse books of overpriced invites, instead of saying: “Holy $H&%! What the F&^# are we doing! We have to get down there this week!”, what I should have said was: “What a joyous occasion we have coming up in the near future that necessitates a trip over to Hallmark! Let’s get over there and order those invitations!” while throwing back my head in joyful laughter.
It’s going to be a challenge. I’ve also cut out wine (aka joyful juice) during the week to aid in the weight loss and "nocturia" (look it up if you want to, I found it on webmd and I have it).
And now I’ve added “joyfulness” to the list of things to “get done”!
I’m totally freaking out.
Don’t I look sane and happy in the picture? That’s because A) It’s a party, B) I’m a Blood Orange Martini and a Mai Tai in to it, 3) I just noshed my way through about five kinds of appetizers, and 4) I’m five minutes away from receiving what proved to be a mouth watering meal of Hawaiian Butter Fish prepared Wasabi style with Wasabi sauce and Wasabi Mashed Potatoes. It was heavenly. Good people + good food = good party!
Back to reality. The scale is gone. I’m eating healthfully and hiking blah blah blah. But what I really need to do is YOGA & MEDITATION. EVERY DAY. Because I am losing my mind.
I realized today, while pondering the whereabouts of my mind, that while I do have a “slight deadline” to fit into my dress, I think I’ve been using this blog, my hiking log, and my food journal, as a sort of distraction from the fact that we’re throwing a huge party in about two months. I didn’t even realize it was two months away until this morning when I was talking to my good friend, Hermelinda, on the phone. I think she said “Your wedding is only two months away!” about five times and five different ways, from “Gosh, your wedding is only two months away!” to “Wow, your wedding is right around the corner!” All while I was detailing (what I suspect to be) my stress-related physical ailments.
I don’t really show stress on the outside, most people think I’m pretty calm, cool, and collected. That cracks me up. When I’m stressed out, I may be a pillar of calm on the outside, but I get really bizarre, random, and quite possibly (in my mind anyway) life threatening health issues. I don’t go to the doctor for any of these ailments because I don’t want to be given “the bad news” this close to my wedding day (or be committed).
My ailments range from weird, inexplicable pains in strange places, to persistent but vague shoulder blade-area nerve damage. Some new ones are excessive urination (yes, you read that right), and the occasional bloody nose. Soon, I will begin to feel that I can’t take a deep breath, I’ll develop a strange “lump in my throat” sensation when I swallow (which I will start to do excessively to check to see if the “lump in my throat” sensation is still there), and a myriad of other interesting and strange “feelings”. That’s just how I roll. You would think that if I know this about myself, I could talk myself down. But stress also clouds the mind and makes you think it's a new problem each time, and then it will even throw in some surprise symptoms to make sure you know you're really dying this time.
To add to all of this nonsense, I also have to go into the office more now. My boss gave me a third branch. He called me and was really hesitant to ask me if I wanted it. He said something like, “I know you have the wedding coming up and everything…” He’s an older gentleman, nicest man in the world, and he’s not a sexist, as sexist as his “concern” may sound to some. You see, I had called him the week prior to tell him I couldn’t stop my nose from gushing blood and I was supposed to meet a client in 10 minutes. He said “That could be a sign of high blood pressure.” To which I replied “Damn straight! I’m losing my mind and I’m pretty sure my head is exploding from stress.” But I insisted on the additional branch (I told him I had to pay for the wedding somehow and would really like an opportunity to make some additional cash!).
Anyway, the thought occurred to me (it’s amazing that one can think when one has lost one’s mind), that I don’t want to just be a fitwife in body only. I should probably make sure that my mind is sound as well. Yes, that might even be more important. It’s funny that this thought just occurred to me.
Here is what needs doing:
Invitations
Marriage License
Vows
Shoes for me
Clothes for Rob and Jacob
Flowers
Final meeting with caterer, etc. (you should SEE the list of “questions and concerns” I have for them!)
Buy beverages
Order desert
Be joyful
I really need to practice "being joyful” because “being stressed out” just isn’t working for me.
When I realized yesterday that we better get down to the “Invitation Store” to peruse books of overpriced invites, instead of saying: “Holy $H&%! What the F&^# are we doing! We have to get down there this week!”, what I should have said was: “What a joyous occasion we have coming up in the near future that necessitates a trip over to Hallmark! Let’s get over there and order those invitations!” while throwing back my head in joyful laughter.
It’s going to be a challenge. I’ve also cut out wine (aka joyful juice) during the week to aid in the weight loss and "nocturia" (look it up if you want to, I found it on webmd and I have it).
And now I’ve added “joyfulness” to the list of things to “get done”!
I’m totally freaking out.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
My Week in Hikes - Week 5
Aren't the tree pictures cool? I'm going to take one each season. The first one is Winter (courtesy of Nikki), the 2nd one is Spring (I was hoping I had the angle right - it's pretty close). Summer and Fall will (hopefully) follow!
This week, because of Easter, I only hiked twice and both were Morrison Canyon. Once with Kristin and once with both Kristin and Kathleen. I did walk a few days, although one of the days was a walk downtown with Kristin where we stopped for Tapas and to split a carafe of Sangria. That one might have been a wash.
I was frustrated with what appears to be a plateau, so after Wednesday, I don't really know how much or what I ate. I was in a bit of a plateau fog. Plus, we threw Laura a birthday party in Santa Cruz this weekend and I knew that would involve a fair amount of"indulging"!
So I'm starting fresh tomorrow, sans the scale. Let's see how I do!
In other news - I'd like to send a "shout out" to my sister Emily, my niece Bren Bren, and my niece's boyfriend Matthew. They completed their first 5k today! Way to go!!! I'm super proud of them!!
My sister-in-law, Nikki, will be running her first 5k next weekend and we hope to be at the finish line to cheer her on!
Friday, April 9, 2010
TRAVIS! You're a year too late!
Does anyone remember that old Levi’s commercial? I think it’s supposed to be about this gorgeous young woman who is sick and tired of waiting for her boyfriend to come around. Literally or emotionally, I’m not sure which. But she was over it. That one line was her “declaration of independence”, so to speak.
Well, I’m over something too, so I think I’ll blog about it and make this my declaration of independence! I’m finally ready to end the emotionally abusive relationship I have with the scale once and for all! I tried to make it work, I really did, but I’ve just been on a merry-go-round for two months and it’s time to get off before I vomit all over myself.
I suppose it started out as an experiment of sorts. First, I went a month without the scale, and following the simple “law of thermodynamics” (calories in .vs calories out); I lost 4 pounds (I did check in after a month). My jeans fit and I was feelin’ fly. I felt so liberated and free! I really wanted and deserved to be happy and healthy. So naturally, my lifestyle followed suit. After the first month however, I thought, maybe it’s o.k. to keep the scale out? Clearly, I’ve conquered whatever it is that is keeping me from my goals. I’ve figured out what to do now, and it’s definitely working!
Why did I change my mind and allow the scale back into my life? I just did. It’s symptomatic of an enabler, or a co-dependent relationship, or something like that. I thought I had changed, the scale changed, our relationship had evolved and changed. But no, I’m the same. And I’m great….I’m just no good with the scale.
Before you roll your eyes and give me a lecture, let me assure you that I already know, on an intellectual level, that it’s not the numbers on the scale that matter. We all know that. But do you want to know what else I know? I know that we all know many, many things on an” intellectual level”, but it really doesn’t always matter, does it? Just “knowing” something doesn’t prevent each and every one of us from acting from a more emotional place sometimes, right?
For whatever twisted reason, I decided to allow the scale back into my life, permanently. For the next month, I did exactly the same thing that I did for the first month (ate less, exercised more). I kept weighing, and weighing, and weighing. The difference this time was that I didn’t lose anything! The only thing I lost was hair (from pulling it out!), confidence in my ability to achieve my goals, optimism, and my feelings of self worth. I found myself back in this cycle of feeling good about myself, hopping on the scale, and in one fell swoop being completely deflated and reduced to a big, fat pile of failure. But I would go back, again and again and again. I lost two inches from my waist!!! But you know what? The scale is right…those jeans are still snug. I’m still fat. That’s right…it’s right.
I don’t quite understand exactly HOW it is that I can do the same things and not get the same results, but I had an idea and gave Rob a pretty terrible example. You know how in the beginning of a relationship, you’re on your best behavior? You dress cute, your hair is always cute, your makeup is cute, you’re just so damned cute all the time! It’s because there is an element of the unknown in your relationship. You can’t take for granted that you will be together forever and ever, but if you want your partner to stick around, maybe donning a daily uniform of sweat pants (even if they have the word “Juicy” scrawled across the butt) and flip flops isn’t the best idea. Then you get married, or in some other way solidify your relationship (this was the terrible example part), and you can slack off a little bit. No one will notice if you go without lip gloss on Saturday! The bobby pin doesn’t look THAT lame in your unwashed hair, right?
When the scale is gone, there is that same element of the unknown. I wonder if it’s working? I think I’ll pass on the cookies this time…just in case. But I feel great! My jeans fit! This is awesome (new relationship feeling)!!! Then the scale comes back and is firmly stuck to the hairspray fall out on the bathroom floor, and I know it’s here to stay, and it’s not as romantic as it used to be, and maybe, just maybe, I’m having more cookies now and then. Why not? Apparently, it doesn’t matter. The scale isn’t going anywhere and neither is my butt.
Well guess what? The scale is going somewhere….for good! (Unless I change my mind in a month, which I very well may because I can, and do, change my mind often)
Rob doesn’t have the same relationship with the scale, however, so he doesn’t want to toss it, sell it, or smash it with a sledge hammer (my suggestion). The scale tells him good things like, “Wow, you took the slice of cotto salami out of your daily sandwich? Now look at you with your lean, 14 pounds lighter self!!” I never knew a scale could be so fickle! I told Rob that he can have this one indiscretion, but I don’t want to hear about it, and I certainly don’t want to see it! I’m cool like that.
As of tomorrow (because Rob has to come home and hide it), I am scale-free. I already feel more awesome and empowered! More confident and optimistic! Lighter even! Like a great weight has been lifted! I think I’ll go weigh myself!!! Oh wait…..
Well, I’m over something too, so I think I’ll blog about it and make this my declaration of independence! I’m finally ready to end the emotionally abusive relationship I have with the scale once and for all! I tried to make it work, I really did, but I’ve just been on a merry-go-round for two months and it’s time to get off before I vomit all over myself.
I suppose it started out as an experiment of sorts. First, I went a month without the scale, and following the simple “law of thermodynamics” (calories in .vs calories out); I lost 4 pounds (I did check in after a month). My jeans fit and I was feelin’ fly. I felt so liberated and free! I really wanted and deserved to be happy and healthy. So naturally, my lifestyle followed suit. After the first month however, I thought, maybe it’s o.k. to keep the scale out? Clearly, I’ve conquered whatever it is that is keeping me from my goals. I’ve figured out what to do now, and it’s definitely working!
Why did I change my mind and allow the scale back into my life? I just did. It’s symptomatic of an enabler, or a co-dependent relationship, or something like that. I thought I had changed, the scale changed, our relationship had evolved and changed. But no, I’m the same. And I’m great….I’m just no good with the scale.
Before you roll your eyes and give me a lecture, let me assure you that I already know, on an intellectual level, that it’s not the numbers on the scale that matter. We all know that. But do you want to know what else I know? I know that we all know many, many things on an” intellectual level”, but it really doesn’t always matter, does it? Just “knowing” something doesn’t prevent each and every one of us from acting from a more emotional place sometimes, right?
For whatever twisted reason, I decided to allow the scale back into my life, permanently. For the next month, I did exactly the same thing that I did for the first month (ate less, exercised more). I kept weighing, and weighing, and weighing. The difference this time was that I didn’t lose anything! The only thing I lost was hair (from pulling it out!), confidence in my ability to achieve my goals, optimism, and my feelings of self worth. I found myself back in this cycle of feeling good about myself, hopping on the scale, and in one fell swoop being completely deflated and reduced to a big, fat pile of failure. But I would go back, again and again and again. I lost two inches from my waist!!! But you know what? The scale is right…those jeans are still snug. I’m still fat. That’s right…it’s right.
I don’t quite understand exactly HOW it is that I can do the same things and not get the same results, but I had an idea and gave Rob a pretty terrible example. You know how in the beginning of a relationship, you’re on your best behavior? You dress cute, your hair is always cute, your makeup is cute, you’re just so damned cute all the time! It’s because there is an element of the unknown in your relationship. You can’t take for granted that you will be together forever and ever, but if you want your partner to stick around, maybe donning a daily uniform of sweat pants (even if they have the word “Juicy” scrawled across the butt) and flip flops isn’t the best idea. Then you get married, or in some other way solidify your relationship (this was the terrible example part), and you can slack off a little bit. No one will notice if you go without lip gloss on Saturday! The bobby pin doesn’t look THAT lame in your unwashed hair, right?
When the scale is gone, there is that same element of the unknown. I wonder if it’s working? I think I’ll pass on the cookies this time…just in case. But I feel great! My jeans fit! This is awesome (new relationship feeling)!!! Then the scale comes back and is firmly stuck to the hairspray fall out on the bathroom floor, and I know it’s here to stay, and it’s not as romantic as it used to be, and maybe, just maybe, I’m having more cookies now and then. Why not? Apparently, it doesn’t matter. The scale isn’t going anywhere and neither is my butt.
Well guess what? The scale is going somewhere….for good! (Unless I change my mind in a month, which I very well may because I can, and do, change my mind often)
Rob doesn’t have the same relationship with the scale, however, so he doesn’t want to toss it, sell it, or smash it with a sledge hammer (my suggestion). The scale tells him good things like, “Wow, you took the slice of cotto salami out of your daily sandwich? Now look at you with your lean, 14 pounds lighter self!!” I never knew a scale could be so fickle! I told Rob that he can have this one indiscretion, but I don’t want to hear about it, and I certainly don’t want to see it! I’m cool like that.
As of tomorrow (because Rob has to come home and hide it), I am scale-free. I already feel more awesome and empowered! More confident and optimistic! Lighter even! Like a great weight has been lifted! I think I’ll go weigh myself!!! Oh wait…..
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
......How Many Inches??
It’s later in the day. I’ve had my coffee. A friend reminded me that I’m awesome (and to breathe). And Rob sent me an email that, at first glance, blew right over my head. C’mon...you were titillated by the title of this post, right? It’s not just me.
You see, I sent Rob an email this morning after my weigh in. Something like:
“Half a pound….in a MONTH. WTF????!!!”
I sent it in the few fiery moments I had before I got a grip and went on with my day. That’s how it is. Quick to explode and get all over math’s case, then I’m fine and totally excited about my coffee and wearing a super cute outfit to work!
A few hours later I received this email from Rob:
“…….how many inches?”
Um…excuse me? Is…he….trying….to.... Am...I to...infer...inuendo? OH! HA HA HA! He’s asking me how many inches I’ve lost!
The point is, and there is a point, it’s funny how completely and perfunctorily I dismiss the true measure of weight loss….size! So much so, that when Rob (being the awesome husband-to-be that he is) points it out, I assume he’s “flirting” with me! Ohhhh…I feel so silly.
You probably know from some of my older posts that I am not a great mathematician. This is further proof. I am looking only at “weight” and not considering “volume” or “mass”, or whatever. *sigh*.... math!
I have lost a couple of inches from my waist and to be perfectly honest, on a few days over the past week or so (because, sadly, I am back on the Hell Train to Weighing Every Dayville) I weighed 161, which would be 2 pounds lost this month… if I’m doing the math correctly. So to hell with the Master Cleanse. I'm going out to lunch!
You see, I sent Rob an email this morning after my weigh in. Something like:
“Half a pound….in a MONTH. WTF????!!!”
I sent it in the few fiery moments I had before I got a grip and went on with my day. That’s how it is. Quick to explode and get all over math’s case, then I’m fine and totally excited about my coffee and wearing a super cute outfit to work!
A few hours later I received this email from Rob:
“…….how many inches?”
Um…excuse me? Is…he….trying….to.... Am...I to...infer...inuendo? OH! HA HA HA! He’s asking me how many inches I’ve lost!
The point is, and there is a point, it’s funny how completely and perfunctorily I dismiss the true measure of weight loss….size! So much so, that when Rob (being the awesome husband-to-be that he is) points it out, I assume he’s “flirting” with me! Ohhhh…I feel so silly.
You probably know from some of my older posts that I am not a great mathematician. This is further proof. I am looking only at “weight” and not considering “volume” or “mass”, or whatever. *sigh*.... math!
I have lost a couple of inches from my waist and to be perfectly honest, on a few days over the past week or so (because, sadly, I am back on the Hell Train to Weighing Every Dayville) I weighed 161, which would be 2 pounds lost this month… if I’m doing the math correctly. So to hell with the Master Cleanse. I'm going out to lunch!
The Math Myth - I KNEW IT!!!
I was going to pretend that I "forgot" that today was my official monthly weigh in and come back later in the week (after sticking to a diet of water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper) with: "Oops! I forgot to weigh in on Tuesday! Well the good news is....."
But I'm an honest person, so I am going to tell you the truth. Math is a myth. That is the truth. It's something I've suspected my entire life. It's the reason I had to take the same math class two or three times in order to graduate from high school, and it's the reason I majored in English. The only math I had to take in college was "Math for Liberal Arts" (which I did very well in, by the way). It is a complete racket. I KNEW IT!!!!
I have lost a whopping .5 pound since my last weigh in....a month ago. I've reviewed my calorie and work out logs...the deficit is there. The 500 calorie a day deficit IS THERE. My body does this every time. I get to the highest possible BMI that is no longer in the "Oh, you better put down those Cheese Puffs, girl!" range, and it's over. No more weight comes off. To get to the 150's - I have to do a master cleanse lemonade diet or something (kind of like I just started yesterday, shhhhh!), and I'll get below 160, but it won't last.
For the first hour after I weighed myself, I slammed stuff around. Then I got over it. I think now I'm just going to keep on keepin' on, as several of you have said. Thank you for that.
Some say that if you try and don't succeed, you fail. Other people would say that if you try and don't succeed, you are still successful because at least you are trying. I don't know if I feel like a total success today, but I don't feel like a failure either. I'm healthier, I've lost a couple of inches. I still have some definite goals that I will reach.....eventually. I'll just keep going in this direction. I'm living a good life and enjoying myself, and I'm not gaining weight. So that's something!
Addendum to my original post:
Dear Math,
I'm sorry I was so over-reactive. I know it's not your fault. It's the Law of Thermodynamics that is clearly flawed. I should have tossed out that no good scale and left you out of it. I shouldn't have lashed out at you and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fractionalize you or make you feel < (less than).
I don't always understand you...and it's hard for me to trust sometimes.
We're good now?
Sincerely,
Eline
But I'm an honest person, so I am going to tell you the truth. Math is a myth. That is the truth. It's something I've suspected my entire life. It's the reason I had to take the same math class two or three times in order to graduate from high school, and it's the reason I majored in English. The only math I had to take in college was "Math for Liberal Arts" (which I did very well in, by the way). It is a complete racket. I KNEW IT!!!!
I have lost a whopping .5 pound since my last weigh in....a month ago. I've reviewed my calorie and work out logs...the deficit is there. The 500 calorie a day deficit IS THERE. My body does this every time. I get to the highest possible BMI that is no longer in the "Oh, you better put down those Cheese Puffs, girl!" range, and it's over. No more weight comes off. To get to the 150's - I have to do a master cleanse lemonade diet or something (kind of like I just started yesterday, shhhhh!), and I'll get below 160, but it won't last.
For the first hour after I weighed myself, I slammed stuff around. Then I got over it. I think now I'm just going to keep on keepin' on, as several of you have said. Thank you for that.
Some say that if you try and don't succeed, you fail. Other people would say that if you try and don't succeed, you are still successful because at least you are trying. I don't know if I feel like a total success today, but I don't feel like a failure either. I'm healthier, I've lost a couple of inches. I still have some definite goals that I will reach.....eventually. I'll just keep going in this direction. I'm living a good life and enjoying myself, and I'm not gaining weight. So that's something!
Addendum to my original post:
Dear Math,
I'm sorry I was so over-reactive. I know it's not your fault. It's the Law of Thermodynamics that is clearly flawed. I should have tossed out that no good scale and left you out of it. I shouldn't have lashed out at you and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fractionalize you or make you feel < (less than).
I don't always understand you...and it's hard for me to trust sometimes.
We're good now?
Sincerely,
Eline
Saturday, April 3, 2010
My Week in Hikes - Week 4
This week I hiked blog blog blog, and ate healthy blog blog blog.......
I'm getting bored with the same ol' posts. I promise to go on more diverse, beautiful hikes in the future, now that the weather is nicer, and post pictures of interesting and awe inspiring scenery.
But for now:
Sunday 3/28, Pleasanton Ridge with Nikki - we hiked from the Augustin Bernal trail head, made it to the top, then went a bit farther along the Ridgeline Trail before heading back down. It was a nice 5 miler!
Tuesday 3/30, Pleasanton Ridge - our "usual" hike.
Wednesday 3/31, Morrison Canyon
Saturday 4/3, Morrison Canyon
Total calories burned hiking this week is 2,970. I kept within my 1500 net calories consumed for the most part.
In the past two weeks I haven't had any major Cheese Puff or Nacho mishaps. I've been eating very healthfully and consciously. However, there was ONE interesting Target Popcorn episode. I think I inadvertently found another migraine trigger.
I get migraines maybe once every couple of years. They are the typical kind and are usually triggered by doing too much cardio too quickly (yes, I have a bona fide, though self-diagnosed, medical condition that keeps me out of the gym!). I can tell when I'm going to get one because I have a strange feeling that "something isn't right", followed by a visual disturbance called an aura that lasts about an hour or two, and then, whamo! I get a mild headache (it's strange how mild the headache part is), but I am completely wiped out both physically and emotionally. I feel inexplicably depressed, and I want to crawl into a dark cave for an entire day. Then....it passes. I'm SO glad I don't get them often and really feel for people who have a more chronic condition!
Anyway - I wasn't having a "terrific" day on Thursday. I was feeling a bit off. So I took a long lunch and went to Target for Easter stuff. I had two small turkey wraps for lunch, but I was craving something "yummy". So I bought a bag of popcorn at Target and ate the whole thing. I was ok afterward...a little thirsty maybe...but I started feeling kind of "funny" by the time I got home. The next morning I woke up two pounds heavier and feeling mildly depressed (not about being two pounds heavier, just in general), and a little "headachey". I cancelled my Friday morning hike and worked from home, feeling sort of "migrainey" all day. But by the next day...I was back to normal and hiking again!
Does anyone know if excessive salt can trigger migraines? I should google it.
Anyway - that was my week in hikes....and headaches.
Nutritionally - I ate a whole mess o' turkey wraps this week, so I'm totally done with those for awhile.
My official monthly weigh in is this coming Tuesday. I think I'm only down a pound since last time. What's up with that? My friend Shelly graciously shared the news with me that muscle does not, in fact, weigh more than fat, it just takes up less room. So I could weigh the same but still shrink, right? I still want to weigh less too. Would it be cheating if I did Master Cleanse for two days before my weigh in? With all the salt I've consumed, and we're having HAM tomorrow.............and pie...........
I'm getting bored with the same ol' posts. I promise to go on more diverse, beautiful hikes in the future, now that the weather is nicer, and post pictures of interesting and awe inspiring scenery.
But for now:
Sunday 3/28, Pleasanton Ridge with Nikki - we hiked from the Augustin Bernal trail head, made it to the top, then went a bit farther along the Ridgeline Trail before heading back down. It was a nice 5 miler!
Tuesday 3/30, Pleasanton Ridge - our "usual" hike.
Wednesday 3/31, Morrison Canyon
Saturday 4/3, Morrison Canyon
Total calories burned hiking this week is 2,970. I kept within my 1500 net calories consumed for the most part.
In the past two weeks I haven't had any major Cheese Puff or Nacho mishaps. I've been eating very healthfully and consciously. However, there was ONE interesting Target Popcorn episode. I think I inadvertently found another migraine trigger.
I get migraines maybe once every couple of years. They are the typical kind and are usually triggered by doing too much cardio too quickly (yes, I have a bona fide, though self-diagnosed, medical condition that keeps me out of the gym!). I can tell when I'm going to get one because I have a strange feeling that "something isn't right", followed by a visual disturbance called an aura that lasts about an hour or two, and then, whamo! I get a mild headache (it's strange how mild the headache part is), but I am completely wiped out both physically and emotionally. I feel inexplicably depressed, and I want to crawl into a dark cave for an entire day. Then....it passes. I'm SO glad I don't get them often and really feel for people who have a more chronic condition!
Anyway - I wasn't having a "terrific" day on Thursday. I was feeling a bit off. So I took a long lunch and went to Target for Easter stuff. I had two small turkey wraps for lunch, but I was craving something "yummy". So I bought a bag of popcorn at Target and ate the whole thing. I was ok afterward...a little thirsty maybe...but I started feeling kind of "funny" by the time I got home. The next morning I woke up two pounds heavier and feeling mildly depressed (not about being two pounds heavier, just in general), and a little "headachey". I cancelled my Friday morning hike and worked from home, feeling sort of "migrainey" all day. But by the next day...I was back to normal and hiking again!
Does anyone know if excessive salt can trigger migraines? I should google it.
Anyway - that was my week in hikes....and headaches.
Nutritionally - I ate a whole mess o' turkey wraps this week, so I'm totally done with those for awhile.
My official monthly weigh in is this coming Tuesday. I think I'm only down a pound since last time. What's up with that? My friend Shelly graciously shared the news with me that muscle does not, in fact, weigh more than fat, it just takes up less room. So I could weigh the same but still shrink, right? I still want to weigh less too. Would it be cheating if I did Master Cleanse for two days before my weigh in? With all the salt I've consumed, and we're having HAM tomorrow.............and pie...........
