Which should be good for about 3 pounds, right? It’s not all bad.
Don’t I look sane and happy in the picture? That’s because A) It’s a party, B) I’m a Blood Orange Martini and a Mai Tai in to it, 3) I just noshed my way through about five kinds of appetizers, and 4) I’m five minutes away from receiving what proved to be a mouth watering meal of Hawaiian Butter Fish prepared Wasabi style with Wasabi sauce and Wasabi Mashed Potatoes. It was heavenly. Good people + good food = good party!
Back to reality. The scale is gone. I’m eating healthfully and hiking blah blah blah. But what I really need to do is YOGA & MEDITATION. EVERY DAY. Because I am losing my mind.
I realized today, while pondering the whereabouts of my mind, that while I do have a “slight deadline” to fit into my dress, I think I’ve been using this blog, my hiking log, and my food journal, as a sort of distraction from the fact that we’re throwing a huge party in about two months. I didn’t even realize it was two months away until this morning when I was talking to my good friend, Hermelinda, on the phone. I think she said “Your wedding is only two months away!” about five times and five different ways, from “Gosh, your wedding is only two months away!” to “Wow, your wedding is right around the corner!” All while I was detailing (what I suspect to be) my stress-related physical ailments.
I don’t really show stress on the outside, most people think I’m pretty calm, cool, and collected. That cracks me up. When I’m stressed out, I may be a pillar of calm on the outside, but I get really bizarre, random, and quite possibly (in my mind anyway) life threatening health issues. I don’t go to the doctor for any of these ailments because I don’t want to be given “the bad news” this close to my wedding day (or be committed).
My ailments range from weird, inexplicable pains in strange places, to persistent but vague shoulder blade-area nerve damage. Some new ones are excessive urination (yes, you read that right), and the occasional bloody nose. Soon, I will begin to feel that I can’t take a deep breath, I’ll develop a strange “lump in my throat” sensation when I swallow (which I will start to do excessively to check to see if the “lump in my throat” sensation is still there), and a myriad of other interesting and strange “feelings”. That’s just how I roll. You would think that if I know this about myself, I could talk myself down. But stress also clouds the mind and makes you think it's a new problem each time, and then it will even throw in some surprise symptoms to make sure you know you're really dying this time.
To add to all of this nonsense, I also have to go into the office more now. My boss gave me a third branch. He called me and was really hesitant to ask me if I wanted it. He said something like, “I know you have the wedding coming up and everything…” He’s an older gentleman, nicest man in the world, and he’s not a sexist, as sexist as his “concern” may sound to some. You see, I had called him the week prior to tell him I couldn’t stop my nose from gushing blood and I was supposed to meet a client in 10 minutes. He said “That could be a sign of high blood pressure.” To which I replied “Damn straight! I’m losing my mind and I’m pretty sure my head is exploding from stress.” But I insisted on the additional branch (I told him I had to pay for the wedding somehow and would really like an opportunity to make some additional cash!).
Anyway, the thought occurred to me (it’s amazing that one can think when one has lost one’s mind), that I don’t want to just be a fitwife in body only. I should probably make sure that my mind is sound as well. Yes, that might even be more important. It’s funny that this thought just occurred to me.
Here is what needs doing:
Invitations
Marriage License
Vows
Shoes for me
Clothes for Rob and Jacob
Flowers
Final meeting with caterer, etc. (you should SEE the list of “questions and concerns” I have for them!)
Buy beverages
Order desert
Be joyful
I really need to practice "being joyful” because “being stressed out” just isn’t working for me.
When I realized yesterday that we better get down to the “Invitation Store” to peruse books of overpriced invites, instead of saying: “Holy $H&%! What the F&^# are we doing! We have to get down there this week!”, what I should have said was: “What a joyous occasion we have coming up in the near future that necessitates a trip over to Hallmark! Let’s get over there and order those invitations!” while throwing back my head in joyful laughter.
It’s going to be a challenge. I’ve also cut out wine (aka joyful juice) during the week to aid in the weight loss and "nocturia" (look it up if you want to, I found it on webmd and I have it).
And now I’ve added “joyfulness” to the list of things to “get done”!
I’m totally freaking out.
Don’t I look sane and happy in the picture? That’s because A) It’s a party, B) I’m a Blood Orange Martini and a Mai Tai in to it, 3) I just noshed my way through about five kinds of appetizers, and 4) I’m five minutes away from receiving what proved to be a mouth watering meal of Hawaiian Butter Fish prepared Wasabi style with Wasabi sauce and Wasabi Mashed Potatoes. It was heavenly. Good people + good food = good party!
Back to reality. The scale is gone. I’m eating healthfully and hiking blah blah blah. But what I really need to do is YOGA & MEDITATION. EVERY DAY. Because I am losing my mind.
I realized today, while pondering the whereabouts of my mind, that while I do have a “slight deadline” to fit into my dress, I think I’ve been using this blog, my hiking log, and my food journal, as a sort of distraction from the fact that we’re throwing a huge party in about two months. I didn’t even realize it was two months away until this morning when I was talking to my good friend, Hermelinda, on the phone. I think she said “Your wedding is only two months away!” about five times and five different ways, from “Gosh, your wedding is only two months away!” to “Wow, your wedding is right around the corner!” All while I was detailing (what I suspect to be) my stress-related physical ailments.
I don’t really show stress on the outside, most people think I’m pretty calm, cool, and collected. That cracks me up. When I’m stressed out, I may be a pillar of calm on the outside, but I get really bizarre, random, and quite possibly (in my mind anyway) life threatening health issues. I don’t go to the doctor for any of these ailments because I don’t want to be given “the bad news” this close to my wedding day (or be committed).
My ailments range from weird, inexplicable pains in strange places, to persistent but vague shoulder blade-area nerve damage. Some new ones are excessive urination (yes, you read that right), and the occasional bloody nose. Soon, I will begin to feel that I can’t take a deep breath, I’ll develop a strange “lump in my throat” sensation when I swallow (which I will start to do excessively to check to see if the “lump in my throat” sensation is still there), and a myriad of other interesting and strange “feelings”. That’s just how I roll. You would think that if I know this about myself, I could talk myself down. But stress also clouds the mind and makes you think it's a new problem each time, and then it will even throw in some surprise symptoms to make sure you know you're really dying this time.
To add to all of this nonsense, I also have to go into the office more now. My boss gave me a third branch. He called me and was really hesitant to ask me if I wanted it. He said something like, “I know you have the wedding coming up and everything…” He’s an older gentleman, nicest man in the world, and he’s not a sexist, as sexist as his “concern” may sound to some. You see, I had called him the week prior to tell him I couldn’t stop my nose from gushing blood and I was supposed to meet a client in 10 minutes. He said “That could be a sign of high blood pressure.” To which I replied “Damn straight! I’m losing my mind and I’m pretty sure my head is exploding from stress.” But I insisted on the additional branch (I told him I had to pay for the wedding somehow and would really like an opportunity to make some additional cash!).
Anyway, the thought occurred to me (it’s amazing that one can think when one has lost one’s mind), that I don’t want to just be a fitwife in body only. I should probably make sure that my mind is sound as well. Yes, that might even be more important. It’s funny that this thought just occurred to me.
Here is what needs doing:
Invitations
Marriage License
Vows
Shoes for me
Clothes for Rob and Jacob
Flowers
Final meeting with caterer, etc. (you should SEE the list of “questions and concerns” I have for them!)
Buy beverages
Order desert
Be joyful
I really need to practice "being joyful” because “being stressed out” just isn’t working for me.
When I realized yesterday that we better get down to the “Invitation Store” to peruse books of overpriced invites, instead of saying: “Holy $H&%! What the F&^# are we doing! We have to get down there this week!”, what I should have said was: “What a joyous occasion we have coming up in the near future that necessitates a trip over to Hallmark! Let’s get over there and order those invitations!” while throwing back my head in joyful laughter.
It’s going to be a challenge. I’ve also cut out wine (aka joyful juice) during the week to aid in the weight loss and "nocturia" (look it up if you want to, I found it on webmd and I have it).
And now I’ve added “joyfulness” to the list of things to “get done”!
I’m totally freaking out.
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