You may recall that in my July 1st post, I decided, after 18 months of various twists, turns, experiments, and road blocks, that the winning-est weight loss program for me was Weight Watchers, but with my own personal twist, of course.
Then I managed to spend the next two months vacationing, camping, partying, crafting, meditating, road tripping, basically everything but focusing on my weight. Was it refreshing? Not as refreshing as I hoped it would be. Self-acceptance is for the birds.
Seriously though, I did keep up the with the basics of my "feel good" routine - lots of yoga, some swimming, healthy eating for the most part. Every once in a while, I'd have a knee jerk reaction and go "full protein!" for a week, or half heartedly "start tracking" again. Momentarily.
Old habits die hard.
The good news - I didn't re-gain all of the 12 pounds it took me a year to lose during my two month "dieting hiatus" - maybe just 5 pounds.
So now that vacation season is over, I'm back on track. And for real this time. Oh, and not with my "own twist" (That so doesn't work! It cracks me up that I keep trying to whine and wheedle my way out of following the rules and putting forth the effort required to get the results I claim to want so badly!)
Enough of that.
I'm following the rules and sticking to the program. I started this past Monday, but today is day one of my first "full week" back on track. I managed to lose two of the five pounds I gained over the past couple of months. It kind of pisses me off that I still have another week or two to go just to get back to where I was. Oh well. Lesson learned!
Goal Weight: 140
Current Weight: 161 (sigh)
The Plan: Weight Watchers
Key Words: Yoga, Hiking, Walking, Meditating, Clean Eating, Fresh Produce, Lean Protein, Cooking, Loving Myself As I Am Every Step Of The Way But Also Loving Myself Enough To Give Myself The Gift Of Being My Best.
Whew.
Oh...a side note. I cut my own hair again! Into a shorter "pixie" cut. I think I may A) Get a Flowbee hair cutting system or B) Just go pay for a fucking hair cut already!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Quickie! (AKA Epic Road Trip Part 1)
I've got five minutes for a quick blog post!
I think our road trip to Seattle and Bend can be considered "epic" for many reasons, and as such, it deserves it's own photo montage, set to music, of course. But in the meantime, here's a quick breakdown.
First stop, Grants Pass and the Hellgate Canyon Jet Ski Excursion on the Rogue River. Super fun...If you ever drive through the area, I highly recommend this! The photos make it look tame, but the jet boats can fly across water just 6 inches deep, they can go up rapids and they can hit 80 MPH (or is it 50...). The 360's are also fun. Wet..but fun!
Next, we pulled into Portland on the way to Seattle and had dinner at McCormick and Schmicks. Not bad for a chain restaurant, although the scenery was probably better than the food (we dined outdoors on the patio overlooking the harbor). We both ordered the Lobster Trio:
And on to Seattle! Besides being a super cool place that contains some of my most favorite people on earth, the delicious food inspired me to return to the Farmers Market this Saturday and get back to clean eating. I'm only up a couple of pounds from when I left, and I think that's mostly due to the Moussakas at Yanni's in Seattle and the Pizza and Beer of 10 Barrel in Bend. Other than that....I kept my wits about me.
We sailed in the Puget Sound!
My brother and I flew in a 1940 open cockpit bi-plane (yeah, I know...ME!). I have a certificate to prove it! I don't know what came over me, but (in part) the thought of wearing a bomber jacket and a leather helmet with goggles....I just HAD to! Isn't she a beauty?
We visited with friends and family, created some great meals and memories. It was fantastic!
And I have to mention somewhere in here, that while cooking at home, especially with good friends, is my favorite...and the Gorgonzola chicken, Bread Salad, and grilled vegetables with a loganberry reduction we made at Ramon and Dawn's was mouth watering...and my sister in law's eggplant, basil sandwiches on rustic baguette were delicious...my absolute favorite would have to be the Cuban sandwiches from Paseo's across from the Shilshole Marina in Seattle:
It was time to leave the Emerald City and it's endless offering of exquisite Coffee, Pastries, Foodies, Friends, and Family. It was with sadness, but also excitement, that we travelled on to Bend, Oregon - land of tax free shopping, outdoor adventure, and fun! We did some camping on Wickiup Reservoir, where we just drove up to a "primitive" campsite on the water and set up camp! For FREE!
We had some great times with Emily and Glen's friends Jimmy and Joy. They have a game room with ping pong, hoola hoop, pool, Centipede, Darts, Rock 'em Sock 'em, Hungry Hungry Hippo, and a random game from the 60's called "Swivel":
And I would be remiss if I did not take advantage of the EXCELLENT consignment stores in Bend (seriously...they rock!). And no tax? I found a "gently used" pair of J Crew brown leather riding boots for $40!!! Here's me happy:
Of course all good things must come to an end. So long Bend, Oregon...time to head back to California...
I think our road trip to Seattle and Bend can be considered "epic" for many reasons, and as such, it deserves it's own photo montage, set to music, of course. But in the meantime, here's a quick breakdown.
First stop, Grants Pass and the Hellgate Canyon Jet Ski Excursion on the Rogue River. Super fun...If you ever drive through the area, I highly recommend this! The photos make it look tame, but the jet boats can fly across water just 6 inches deep, they can go up rapids and they can hit 80 MPH (or is it 50...). The 360's are also fun. Wet..but fun!
Next, we pulled into Portland on the way to Seattle and had dinner at McCormick and Schmicks. Not bad for a chain restaurant, although the scenery was probably better than the food (we dined outdoors on the patio overlooking the harbor). We both ordered the Lobster Trio:
And on to Seattle! Besides being a super cool place that contains some of my most favorite people on earth, the delicious food inspired me to return to the Farmers Market this Saturday and get back to clean eating. I'm only up a couple of pounds from when I left, and I think that's mostly due to the Moussakas at Yanni's in Seattle and the Pizza and Beer of 10 Barrel in Bend. Other than that....I kept my wits about me.
(10 Barrel Brewing Co. Bend, Or)
Can I just mention coffee? Seattle makes the best coffee EVER. Grateful Bread and All City Coffee were a few of the places we tried. There were more, but the names escape me now. If I lived in Seattle, I would be drinking way too much coffee! I would also have beautiful skin and clown hair.
(All City Coffee in the Georgetown District of Seattle)
(Cute sign I saw at another coffee shop in Ballard)
(My sister in law Nancy - we walked to Grateful Bread one morning - and me with glowing skin and clown hair.)
We sailed in the Puget Sound!
(An "artsy" photo - I think Rob took this shot.)
My brother and I flew in a 1940 open cockpit bi-plane (yeah, I know...ME!). I have a certificate to prove it! I don't know what came over me, but (in part) the thought of wearing a bomber jacket and a leather helmet with goggles....I just HAD to! Isn't she a beauty?
(My brother, Art. Doesn't he look like a pilot?)
(Wait a minute! Is that a zip tie???!?)
(My old neighborhood!)
We visited with friends and family, created some great meals and memories. It was fantastic!
(Captain Nancy)
(Rob, Ramon & Dawn)
And I have to mention somewhere in here, that while cooking at home, especially with good friends, is my favorite...and the Gorgonzola chicken, Bread Salad, and grilled vegetables with a loganberry reduction we made at Ramon and Dawn's was mouth watering...and my sister in law's eggplant, basil sandwiches on rustic baguette were delicious...my absolute favorite would have to be the Cuban sandwiches from Paseo's across from the Shilshole Marina in Seattle:
(No sandwich image available due to the speed at which they were consumed.)
It was time to leave the Emerald City and it's endless offering of exquisite Coffee, Pastries, Foodies, Friends, and Family. It was with sadness, but also excitement, that we travelled on to Bend, Oregon - land of tax free shopping, outdoor adventure, and fun! We did some camping on Wickiup Reservoir, where we just drove up to a "primitive" campsite on the water and set up camp! For FREE!
(The view from our tent.)
We even did a little bit of "extreme" geocaching (in swimsuits and flip flops, not recommended!).
We had some great times with Emily and Glen's friends Jimmy and Joy. They have a game room with ping pong, hoola hoop, pool, Centipede, Darts, Rock 'em Sock 'em, Hungry Hungry Hippo, and a random game from the 60's called "Swivel":
And I would be remiss if I did not take advantage of the EXCELLENT consignment stores in Bend (seriously...they rock!). And no tax? I found a "gently used" pair of J Crew brown leather riding boots for $40!!! Here's me happy:
Of course all good things must come to an end. So long Bend, Oregon...time to head back to California...
Monday, August 8, 2011
Overalls. And The Line Between Fantasy and Reality.
I'm going to go out on a fashion limb here and state publicly that I really want a pair of overalls.
There is that well known rule that if you wear a fashion the first time it comes around, you should definitely pass on it the second (or third) time. But I'm pretty sure I already broke that rule.
I wore them as a kid in the 70's (the striped train conductor ones!). Then as a semi-androgynous, grunge, free-music-festival goer in the early to mid 90's (think Bridget Fonda in the movie "Singles"). I even stretched them into the late 90's (maternity wear) and early 2000's (comfy "casual day at work" attire)! I lived in those things for a decade!
Besides, can overalls really be considered "fashion"? It seems like there should be a few items of clothing that are exempt from the "wear it once" rule. Culotts are another great example of clothing trends that never go away (even if they should). Go ahead, Google Image "Culotts" and find me a decade free of them.
Anyway....I should give it up....
But I feel like I never wore them "quite right" back in the day. I want another chance.
The problem is my serious lack of perception.
There is that well known rule that if you wear a fashion the first time it comes around, you should definitely pass on it the second (or third) time. But I'm pretty sure I already broke that rule.
I wore them as a kid in the 70's (the striped train conductor ones!). Then as a semi-androgynous, grunge, free-music-festival goer in the early to mid 90's (think Bridget Fonda in the movie "Singles"). I even stretched them into the late 90's (maternity wear) and early 2000's (comfy "casual day at work" attire)! I lived in those things for a decade!
Besides, can overalls really be considered "fashion"? It seems like there should be a few items of clothing that are exempt from the "wear it once" rule. Culotts are another great example of clothing trends that never go away (even if they should). Go ahead, Google Image "Culotts" and find me a decade free of them.
Anyway....I should give it up....
But I feel like I never wore them "quite right" back in the day. I want another chance.
The problem is my serious lack of perception.
In my MIND, I would look like THIS:
Or this - minus the hat. How totally freaking cute in a "hobo chic" way!
Sadly - I'm afraid I would end up looking more like this:
Or at least like this: (Similar to how I "rocked the overall" in the late 90's/2000's. Not well, I'm afraid.)
What do you think? Shouldn't I get another chance? Third time's a charm! (another fashion rule, right?)
itchystomachoveralldietbeadcachecompassion!
What's in YOUR brain?
July 20th was my last blog entry. Hmmmm....tap tap tap...hmmmmm..... (figuring out what to write and wondering why I've got nothin'.)
Here are a few thoughts that randomly float into my mind. What better place to jot down random, floaty thoughts than a blog?
Of course thought #1 is my obsession du jour:
1) I'm tired of yo-yo dieting.
By that, I mean, yo-yo-ing from No Carb to Weight Watchers, to a combination of the two, with little, if any results. Then giving up for a week and trying my own "Yoga-Diet" plan of "celebrating my body" and "eating intuitively", only to discover that the way I "celebrate my body" is to lounge around all day, admiring my legs, while ignoring my growing waistline. And "intuitive eating", well let's just say that my body "intuitively" wants cheese. Lots of it.
I'm in a tug of war with myself - hating to suffer defeat on the scale, but also trying to just "be".
*sigh*
Apparently, it's not like me to just "be". I've got to...to...what? I don't know, but something. Improve somehow. "Become Thin" doesn't seem like too lofty a goal and as much as I would love to give it up, it's been alluding me for so long, that now I'm just mad. I am tenacious if nothing else. I will beat a dead horse deader. (What a terrible saying! Who came up with that? And why am I not deleting it from this post?)
I remember, before I quit smoking for good, I told myself, "My GOD! I do NOT want to spend my ENTIRE life trying to quit smoking! It's miserable. Just do it for God's sake and be done with it!"
So I did.
Now I'm thinking, "My GOD! I do NOT want to spend my ENTIRE life trying to lose weight! It's miserable. Just do it for God's sake and be done with it!"
Quitting smoking was easier....and that took 20 years.
So I think...being that I'm going on vacation for a week...I will just "be" for a week. Try it on for size. Give it the ol' college try. Re-assess (and maybe weigh in) when I return. I will make one promise to myself - I'm going to be reasonable. No junk/garbage food, because I know how that makes me feel. But that's the only rule.
2) Thought number 2 is that I really wish I had more going on in my head right now. But I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Like my body, I'm also trying to improve my mind. Not by being smarter (that train left the station), but by opening it. Opening my mind to wisdom, clarity, compassion, etc. Ah...maybe this is why I obsess on weight and diet. It's easier.
Anyhoo - I'm totally into making bracelets now. I'm calling them "Buddha Bracelets":
Each one comes with a little note referencing an aspect of the Noble Eight-Fold Path. They don't have a clasp, but I suppose you could put one on yourself if you really want to. Rob was trying to get me to put clasps on them. I had to explain that I purposely want them to be "Impermanent" - they will fall off, break, or get annoying and be cut off by the wearer. Impermanent by design!
Oooh! Maybe I should call them "Impermanent by Design" instead of "Buddha Bracelets"? What do you think?
I have time for a few more quick thoughts:
3) I want to get a pair of overalls. Probably lame, I know. They're so 90's. But I fondly remember the lack of muffin top in those things. Just brilliant.
4) Oooh! I love geocaching!
5) My stomach feels "itchy", what's for lunch?
6) This is so lame...am I gonna publish this post? Stupid question.
There - those 6 thoughts are the entire contents of my head at this.very.moment. FASCINATING!
July 20th was my last blog entry. Hmmmm....tap tap tap...hmmmmm..... (figuring out what to write and wondering why I've got nothin'.)
Here are a few thoughts that randomly float into my mind. What better place to jot down random, floaty thoughts than a blog?
Of course thought #1 is my obsession du jour:
1) I'm tired of yo-yo dieting.
By that, I mean, yo-yo-ing from No Carb to Weight Watchers, to a combination of the two, with little, if any results. Then giving up for a week and trying my own "Yoga-Diet" plan of "celebrating my body" and "eating intuitively", only to discover that the way I "celebrate my body" is to lounge around all day, admiring my legs, while ignoring my growing waistline. And "intuitive eating", well let's just say that my body "intuitively" wants cheese. Lots of it.
I'm in a tug of war with myself - hating to suffer defeat on the scale, but also trying to just "be".
*sigh*
Apparently, it's not like me to just "be". I've got to...to...what? I don't know, but something. Improve somehow. "Become Thin" doesn't seem like too lofty a goal and as much as I would love to give it up, it's been alluding me for so long, that now I'm just mad. I am tenacious if nothing else. I will beat a dead horse deader. (What a terrible saying! Who came up with that? And why am I not deleting it from this post?)
I remember, before I quit smoking for good, I told myself, "My GOD! I do NOT want to spend my ENTIRE life trying to quit smoking! It's miserable. Just do it for God's sake and be done with it!"
So I did.
Now I'm thinking, "My GOD! I do NOT want to spend my ENTIRE life trying to lose weight! It's miserable. Just do it for God's sake and be done with it!"
Quitting smoking was easier....and that took 20 years.
So I think...being that I'm going on vacation for a week...I will just "be" for a week. Try it on for size. Give it the ol' college try. Re-assess (and maybe weigh in) when I return. I will make one promise to myself - I'm going to be reasonable. No junk/garbage food, because I know how that makes me feel. But that's the only rule.
2) Thought number 2 is that I really wish I had more going on in my head right now. But I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Like my body, I'm also trying to improve my mind. Not by being smarter (that train left the station), but by opening it. Opening my mind to wisdom, clarity, compassion, etc. Ah...maybe this is why I obsess on weight and diet. It's easier.
Anyhoo - I'm totally into making bracelets now. I'm calling them "Buddha Bracelets":
Each one comes with a little note referencing an aspect of the Noble Eight-Fold Path. They don't have a clasp, but I suppose you could put one on yourself if you really want to. Rob was trying to get me to put clasps on them. I had to explain that I purposely want them to be "Impermanent" - they will fall off, break, or get annoying and be cut off by the wearer. Impermanent by design!
Oooh! Maybe I should call them "Impermanent by Design" instead of "Buddha Bracelets"? What do you think?
I have time for a few more quick thoughts:
3) I want to get a pair of overalls. Probably lame, I know. They're so 90's. But I fondly remember the lack of muffin top in those things. Just brilliant.
4) Oooh! I love geocaching!
5) My stomach feels "itchy", what's for lunch?
6) This is so lame...am I gonna publish this post? Stupid question.
There - those 6 thoughts are the entire contents of my head at this.very.moment. FASCINATING!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I'm a Buddha, He's A Buddha, She's a Buddha, We're a Buddha, Wouldn't You Like To Be a Buddha Too?
Believe it or not, I do think about things other than the three F's: Food, Fitness, and my Fat rolls. Those just happen to be the most common themes of my blog. Today, I wanted to write about something else.
Buddha Nature. Have you heard of it?
Buddha taught that we are all Buddha. Meaning that we are all already complete, perfected, and awakened, just as we are. Nothing else is required other than to awaken to our "true selves", our innate Buddha Nature. It's our illusory sense of reality, living our conditioned lives, expecting particular outcomes based on our preconceived notions, and our attachment to our "ego", that prevent us from experiencing this "awakening" (that's all).
The fact that we are sometimes anxious, jealous, greedy, dissatisfied, fearful, mistrustful, judgemental, angry, unkind, etc. is not really our true state of being - these feelings (and the actions that often accompany them) are caused by external conditions that we misunderstand, or take personally (thanks, ego!).
If we were truly our selves, that is to say the natural state of being human if we were to peel away all of the layers of delusion, ego, and fear, our natural state would be one of calm, compassion, reason, understanding, kindness and most of all, love for all sentient beings.
What I find interesting, is that so many of the people that I know, be they Christian, Atheist, Catholic, Jewish, Agnostic, etc. have so much of this innate Buddha Nature. I won't name names, but my husband (I didn't say his name), who is "spiritual" but doesn't consider himself a Buddhist (he so totally is though, he's just transcended the need to put a label on it) is full of it (Buddha Nature).
My late Grandmother was a beautiful Christian woman. She never spoke a bad word about anyone. She loved absolutely everyone and everything. She went to church every Sunday and was filled to overflowing with the love of God. She embodied Buddha Nature completely. At her memorial, my uncle, while acknowledging my Grandmother's minister, said something like; "I mean no offence to you, my mother loved her church and God, but I believe she was also a Buddha". He said that he came to feel this way after attending our wedding the week before and getting a crash course in Buddhism. If anyone embodied pure love, non-judgement, and happiness, it was my grandmother.
I have a friend who is Catholic and is always so serene and calm, positive and compassionate. I sometimes wonder if she is cursing and judging inside her head. Probably not.
My sister is a Christian-slash-Buddhist, (complicated) and is awake to reality, or always working on it. She has compassion in spades, and very rarely judges others. (Or tries not to, anyway. We're all a work in progress!)
I believe, much like the Buddha taught, that everyone is Buddha. Everyone has the true Buddha Nature, deep down inside. Buddha means "Awakened", remember, so I don't mean to say that there is no God just by saying we are all Buddha (I do not personally believe in a God), I'm simply saying that the vehicle to being awakened might be God to some people (not the "man in the sky" God, but the "God is in every element" God), or it might be meditation and study to others, practice and self analysis to others, and on and on. Same end, different means to get there.
We all come to the truth in the end, don't we? And don't ask me what I think that truth is. I would never be so bold as to state that I "know". In fact, I have no desire to know, nor do I feel like I need to know. The only thing I do know, is that it's not for me to know right this minute. I'm such a slacker in everything I do, even in needing to know the purpose of my life or what will happen when I die. I don't really care.
Did you know that whenever someone asked the Buddha (anxiously, I'm sure) "What happens after we DIE?!", it is said that he remained silent and wouldn't answer. Either because A) He didn't know, or B) Because...does it really matter? In the larger scheme of things is it really that importnant to know? If so...Why? What aren't you doing now that would give you peace?
Sure we can all have our own "ideas" of what we "think" or "believe" the ultimate truth is, or the purpose of our short little stay on this great blue planet, or what happens when we die...but come on. Does anyone really "know"?
On a side note, people who claim to "know" annoy me just a little bit. You can "believe", but I don't "believe" you can know until you experience it. And as long as I'm on my soapbox, if someone's belief system is so dicey that it makes them uncomfortable or angry to be challenged, or causes them to be fearful and mistrustful of others' belief systems, isn't that sort of a red flag for them?
Be confident, and accept that others may have different belief systems. Is there just one, or are there many truths? Is belief or faith the same as truth? I have my own ideas about that. Maybe we can discuss them in a later blog post! I do know there is a difference between "adopting" someone's beliefs and "accepting" them as valid. You don't have to do one to do the other. And you don't have to be afraid to do the latter. What do we really know? What do we think we know? We don't have to be all matchy matchy. That's my philosophy, anyway.
Personally, I think that most, if not all, religions, when practiced correctly (think love, compassion, acceptance, the core teachings of all major religions) are beautiful and valuable. It is the weaker humans who corrupt them.
I may claim to be a "Buddhist", but I don't see a whole lot of Buddha in me. I'm sure it's in there somewhere and I do have my moments. Before you say, "Oh Eline, you are about the most enlightened person I KNOW!" (lol!) I need to tell you that I have no problem being a flawed human. At all. I embrace it. But I've decided (as I've decided a hundred times over the past 14 years), that I will take the Buddhist precepts and work on them one at a time. I'll jump around. I'll come back to the ones that are the most difficult. I'll play with it. I need some sort of system. Maybe a set of pretty string bracelets to stand for each precept and I'll wear the ones I'm working on and keep adding them to my wrist as I work through them as a visual reminder and...Hmmmm. I'm pretty sure that vanity is not one of the precepts, but I'm visualizing a beautifully and mysteriously adorned wrist in my future! (see what happens inside my head?).
Anyway - My first precept will be the most difficult for me. Right Speech. This means no gossip, no speaking ill of people, no idle chatter (what?), no lies, no use of words to purposely hurt people and/or to make myself feel better, i.e. - "She looks like a total skank . Good luck with that 10 years from now, idiot!" Whoa! What a zinger. WHY? Why would I need to SAY that?
Well, that's that. I really hope this post doesn't offend anyone. If it does, I apologize, that is certainly not my intent (Yeah! I just practiced "Right Speech"!!). Whooo hoooo...purple bracelet!
Buddha Nature. Have you heard of it?
Buddha taught that we are all Buddha. Meaning that we are all already complete, perfected, and awakened, just as we are. Nothing else is required other than to awaken to our "true selves", our innate Buddha Nature. It's our illusory sense of reality, living our conditioned lives, expecting particular outcomes based on our preconceived notions, and our attachment to our "ego", that prevent us from experiencing this "awakening" (that's all).
The fact that we are sometimes anxious, jealous, greedy, dissatisfied, fearful, mistrustful, judgemental, angry, unkind, etc. is not really our true state of being - these feelings (and the actions that often accompany them) are caused by external conditions that we misunderstand, or take personally (thanks, ego!).
If we were truly our selves, that is to say the natural state of being human if we were to peel away all of the layers of delusion, ego, and fear, our natural state would be one of calm, compassion, reason, understanding, kindness and most of all, love for all sentient beings.
What I find interesting, is that so many of the people that I know, be they Christian, Atheist, Catholic, Jewish, Agnostic, etc. have so much of this innate Buddha Nature. I won't name names, but my husband (I didn't say his name), who is "spiritual" but doesn't consider himself a Buddhist (he so totally is though, he's just transcended the need to put a label on it) is full of it (Buddha Nature).
My late Grandmother was a beautiful Christian woman. She never spoke a bad word about anyone. She loved absolutely everyone and everything. She went to church every Sunday and was filled to overflowing with the love of God. She embodied Buddha Nature completely. At her memorial, my uncle, while acknowledging my Grandmother's minister, said something like; "I mean no offence to you, my mother loved her church and God, but I believe she was also a Buddha". He said that he came to feel this way after attending our wedding the week before and getting a crash course in Buddhism. If anyone embodied pure love, non-judgement, and happiness, it was my grandmother.
I have a friend who is Catholic and is always so serene and calm, positive and compassionate. I sometimes wonder if she is cursing and judging inside her head. Probably not.
My sister is a Christian-slash-Buddhist, (complicated) and is awake to reality, or always working on it. She has compassion in spades, and very rarely judges others. (Or tries not to, anyway. We're all a work in progress!)
I believe, much like the Buddha taught, that everyone is Buddha. Everyone has the true Buddha Nature, deep down inside. Buddha means "Awakened", remember, so I don't mean to say that there is no God just by saying we are all Buddha (I do not personally believe in a God), I'm simply saying that the vehicle to being awakened might be God to some people (not the "man in the sky" God, but the "God is in every element" God), or it might be meditation and study to others, practice and self analysis to others, and on and on. Same end, different means to get there.
We all come to the truth in the end, don't we? And don't ask me what I think that truth is. I would never be so bold as to state that I "know". In fact, I have no desire to know, nor do I feel like I need to know. The only thing I do know, is that it's not for me to know right this minute. I'm such a slacker in everything I do, even in needing to know the purpose of my life or what will happen when I die. I don't really care.
Did you know that whenever someone asked the Buddha (anxiously, I'm sure) "What happens after we DIE?!", it is said that he remained silent and wouldn't answer. Either because A) He didn't know, or B) Because...does it really matter? In the larger scheme of things is it really that importnant to know? If so...Why? What aren't you doing now that would give you peace?
Sure we can all have our own "ideas" of what we "think" or "believe" the ultimate truth is, or the purpose of our short little stay on this great blue planet, or what happens when we die...but come on. Does anyone really "know"?
On a side note, people who claim to "know" annoy me just a little bit. You can "believe", but I don't "believe" you can know until you experience it. And as long as I'm on my soapbox, if someone's belief system is so dicey that it makes them uncomfortable or angry to be challenged, or causes them to be fearful and mistrustful of others' belief systems, isn't that sort of a red flag for them?
Be confident, and accept that others may have different belief systems. Is there just one, or are there many truths? Is belief or faith the same as truth? I have my own ideas about that. Maybe we can discuss them in a later blog post! I do know there is a difference between "adopting" someone's beliefs and "accepting" them as valid. You don't have to do one to do the other. And you don't have to be afraid to do the latter. What do we really know? What do we think we know? We don't have to be all matchy matchy. That's my philosophy, anyway.
Personally, I think that most, if not all, religions, when practiced correctly (think love, compassion, acceptance, the core teachings of all major religions) are beautiful and valuable. It is the weaker humans who corrupt them.
I may claim to be a "Buddhist", but I don't see a whole lot of Buddha in me. I'm sure it's in there somewhere and I do have my moments. Before you say, "Oh Eline, you are about the most enlightened person I KNOW!" (lol!) I need to tell you that I have no problem being a flawed human. At all. I embrace it. But I've decided (as I've decided a hundred times over the past 14 years), that I will take the Buddhist precepts and work on them one at a time. I'll jump around. I'll come back to the ones that are the most difficult. I'll play with it. I need some sort of system. Maybe a set of pretty string bracelets to stand for each precept and I'll wear the ones I'm working on and keep adding them to my wrist as I work through them as a visual reminder and...Hmmmm. I'm pretty sure that vanity is not one of the precepts, but I'm visualizing a beautifully and mysteriously adorned wrist in my future! (see what happens inside my head?).
Anyway - My first precept will be the most difficult for me. Right Speech. This means no gossip, no speaking ill of people, no idle chatter (what?), no lies, no use of words to purposely hurt people and/or to make myself feel better, i.e. - "She looks like a total skank . Good luck with that 10 years from now, idiot!" Whoa! What a zinger. WHY? Why would I need to SAY that?
Well, that's that. I really hope this post doesn't offend anyone. If it does, I apologize, that is certainly not my intent (Yeah! I just practiced "Right Speech"!!). Whooo hoooo...purple bracelet!
Monday, July 18, 2011
On Track, Off Track, repeat....
I was on track for a few days, then I had a week long holiday, now I'm on track, but wait! I have a three day camping trip this weekend! And so it goes...all summer long. No wonder I'm the queen of maintenance. This constant off and on makes my head spin and my belly grow...and shrink...and grow....and shrink. Whatever. I really don't mind my current size....but I sure like it better when I can comfortably wear clothes I bought just two weeks ago.
(I'm not frustrated, I'm not frustrated, I'm not frustrated).
Can I please just stop having so much fun already! Ha ha ha.....Like THAT'S ever gonna happen.
Tune in next week to see if I lose my mind, gain three pounds, lose four, swear off starch and sugar, binge on wine and chocolate, go vegan, go clean, go green, go protein, go off the deep end!
(I'm not frustrated, I'm not frustrated, I'm not frustrated).
Can I please just stop having so much fun already! Ha ha ha.....Like THAT'S ever gonna happen.
Tune in next week to see if I lose my mind, gain three pounds, lose four, swear off starch and sugar, binge on wine and chocolate, go vegan, go clean, go green, go protein, go off the deep end!
Friday, July 1, 2011
I'm Dialed In
And it only took 18 months!
Since I started this blog, I've tried Weight Watchers, Low Carb, No Carb, Whole Foods, Clean Eating, The 17 Day Diet, The Belly Fat Cure (ok, I didn't do that one, but I thought about it), the French Women Don't Get Fat Diet (one of my favorites), The You On A Diet Diet, a Lemon Juice/Maple Syrup/Cayenne Pepper Cleanse, and probably numerous variations of all of the above.
I did lose a total of about 15 pounds, and I've managed to keep it off for the past year with a few small blips up and down.
I also learned a few things:
1) I get bored quickly. I'll try just about any diet, whether I need to or not, because it's sort of a hobby.
2) I love food. I don't love being obsessed with food.
3) My natural eating style is fairly healthy: lean proteins, whole grains, plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, minimally processed foods, etc. with the occasional monthly nosh fest of anything cheesy/crunchy/salty/fatty.
4) The above statement is a total lie. If I were to tell you what my real "if no one was looking and calories worked in the reverse" eating style was, it would look more like: chips, crackers and cheese, heavy dips, bread, bacon, creamy soups, creamy anything, butter, chocolate, candy, candy, chips. But of course I don't feel well when I eat that way, and I feel like a million bucks when I eat the other way, so I have to be the food police for my own health, safety, and sanity.
5) I do better when I eat three "healthy squares" a day. Eating the 6 small meals a day that are supposed to rev up your metabolism doesn't work for me (I read recently that new research shows that that's a diet myth anyway). For me, eating 6 small meals a day makes me feel like I'm an indigenous tribes person living in the wild, barely sustaining my strength on small, scavenged meals of nuts, berries and the occasional roasted squirrel. I'm always hungry and always thinking about food. Since I don't like to be obsessed with food, I prefer to eat a solid meal and then think of other things for the next 4 or 5 hours.
6) The more I lament about the beef industry and about how much I love cows, the more I want to eat them.
7) There are days that I feel fit and fierce, and days that I feel fat and slovenly. That's the way it is and the way it will likely stay. I'm human, and I'm a woman. Don't let it upset you and don't argue with me that I'm not fat and/or I'm not thin. I won't believe you either way, I'm contrary that way. Unless you tell me I'm thin when I feel thin and fat when I feel fat. And since I'm not going to wear a tshirt, (maybe I should get "fat/thin day" t-shirts!!), you've only got a 50/50 chance of getting it right anyway.
8) Sure, I may always think I want to lose another 15 pounds. But apparently I don't want to badly enough to give up my dangerous lifestyle of the occasional snack shack nachos and heart-healthy amounts of red wine (I'm shrugging my shoulders here with bored indifference). Really. If I wanted it badly enough, it would have happened. I see where I could shave plenty of calories, and I make the conscious choice not to. I must secretly like myself the way I am (gasp).
9) I'm too lazy to run and I'm really not the "shredding" type. I don't like doing things I don't like. What I love is yoga and hiking. I do yoga and I hike. Sometimes I swim, ride a bike, dance, whatever I feel like. That will be the extent of my exercise regiment now.
I've taken what I have learned over the past 18 months, and I have designed the perfect plan. I'm calling it "The Perfect Plan" (of course you would have to make your own perfect plan, it's not a one size fits all thing).
As far as nutrition - Weight Watchers wins. Why? Because tracking what I eat is simply what I need to do to not be my natural glutinous self and to maintain my current figure. It keeps me in check and it's a whole lot easier (for me) to track a few points on line rather than add up hundreds of calories (thousands). The on line tools are awesome, you can eat anything within reason and in moderation, I like to cook, and Rob and I LOVE their recipes (I can visibly see his disappointment when I announce my next new eating plan, and his apparent joy when I mention Weight Watchers again). I can incorporate whole foods and cleaner eating. And come on, who wouldn't love "Hawaiian Curry Chicken with Pineapple Salsa topped with shredded toasted Coconut"?
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But if this is going to be the lifestyle I choose to adopt long term, it has to be realistic. It has to be something I can stick with. I need to minimize the obsession and do away with the guilt, because frankly, I don't have room in my life for those things. SO, I've made a few concessions:
1) Anything I eat after 4 pm one or two days a week is not tracked. This allows me to eat dinner out, or attend a Sausage Fest (this Sunday) with no guilt. It's written into the rules. And there's a clause that says I can add a third day if I feel like it. Because I can apparently! I've been doing it and I haven't gained any weight, so....
2) Wine isn't tracked at all because, 1) I'm counting it as a supplement (Hellloooo? Resveratrol?), and 2) as Kristin put it today, it's already factored into my metabolism (or something like that. It made sense at the time). Basically, if I eat three healthy meals and stay within my points for food, I still lose .5 pound to a pound a week, whether I drink wine or not. But when I add the wine to my tracker and see my points go over my allotted number of points, I have so much guilt! Two glasses of wine equals 7 points! That's like a 4th meal! I feel like a total loser and it's a buzz kill. So I'm not doing it. Life is too short.
3) Of course, I can't be a hypocrite, so to off set the points that I don't track, I also don't track the points I earn for any work outs. That wouldn't be fair.
Other than that....I eat what I want, when I want, and it tends to be three meals a day - a protein shake for breakfast, or a big bacon and egg breakfast depending on what I feel like and how much time I have. Lunch is something like soup and salad, or soup and sandwich, or salad and sandwich, or whatever...lunch stuff (if I have Chinese, Vietnamese, or Thai food, I choose a protein and vegetable dish and pass on the rice and noodles). Dinner is whatever I feel like cooking and/or Rob bbq's. That's it, easy peasy.
For exercise, I stick to what I enjoy: hike, yoga, etc.
Some friends and I were having a beer (that I didn't track) after our pedicure the other evening and someone suggested that we get together every Wednesday morning at 6:30 am, at alternating locations (our homes or a near by park), and we'll take turns leading a yoga "class". The first one was at my house and I led. It was lots of fun. What a great idea! It's such a wonderful way to start the day and we get to try different sequences (gets me out of my rut), have our tea or coffee and chit chat before the craziness of the day.
So, I guess that's it. I tried out "The Perfect Plan" this week and I lost a pound. How about that? And guess what? I'll probably gain it back next week. But that's ok.
Since I started this blog, I've tried Weight Watchers, Low Carb, No Carb, Whole Foods, Clean Eating, The 17 Day Diet, The Belly Fat Cure (ok, I didn't do that one, but I thought about it), the French Women Don't Get Fat Diet (one of my favorites), The You On A Diet Diet, a Lemon Juice/Maple Syrup/Cayenne Pepper Cleanse, and probably numerous variations of all of the above.
I did lose a total of about 15 pounds, and I've managed to keep it off for the past year with a few small blips up and down.
I also learned a few things:
1) I get bored quickly. I'll try just about any diet, whether I need to or not, because it's sort of a hobby.
2) I love food. I don't love being obsessed with food.
3) My natural eating style is fairly healthy: lean proteins, whole grains, plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, minimally processed foods, etc. with the occasional monthly nosh fest of anything cheesy/crunchy/salty/fatty.
4) The above statement is a total lie. If I were to tell you what my real "if no one was looking and calories worked in the reverse" eating style was, it would look more like: chips, crackers and cheese, heavy dips, bread, bacon, creamy soups, creamy anything, butter, chocolate, candy, candy, chips. But of course I don't feel well when I eat that way, and I feel like a million bucks when I eat the other way, so I have to be the food police for my own health, safety, and sanity.
5) I do better when I eat three "healthy squares" a day. Eating the 6 small meals a day that are supposed to rev up your metabolism doesn't work for me (I read recently that new research shows that that's a diet myth anyway). For me, eating 6 small meals a day makes me feel like I'm an indigenous tribes person living in the wild, barely sustaining my strength on small, scavenged meals of nuts, berries and the occasional roasted squirrel. I'm always hungry and always thinking about food. Since I don't like to be obsessed with food, I prefer to eat a solid meal and then think of other things for the next 4 or 5 hours.
6) The more I lament about the beef industry and about how much I love cows, the more I want to eat them.
7) There are days that I feel fit and fierce, and days that I feel fat and slovenly. That's the way it is and the way it will likely stay. I'm human, and I'm a woman. Don't let it upset you and don't argue with me that I'm not fat and/or I'm not thin. I won't believe you either way, I'm contrary that way. Unless you tell me I'm thin when I feel thin and fat when I feel fat. And since I'm not going to wear a tshirt, (maybe I should get "fat/thin day" t-shirts!!), you've only got a 50/50 chance of getting it right anyway.
8) Sure, I may always think I want to lose another 15 pounds. But apparently I don't want to badly enough to give up my dangerous lifestyle of the occasional snack shack nachos and heart-healthy amounts of red wine (I'm shrugging my shoulders here with bored indifference). Really. If I wanted it badly enough, it would have happened. I see where I could shave plenty of calories, and I make the conscious choice not to. I must secretly like myself the way I am (gasp).
9) I'm too lazy to run and I'm really not the "shredding" type. I don't like doing things I don't like. What I love is yoga and hiking. I do yoga and I hike. Sometimes I swim, ride a bike, dance, whatever I feel like. That will be the extent of my exercise regiment now.
I've taken what I have learned over the past 18 months, and I have designed the perfect plan. I'm calling it "The Perfect Plan" (of course you would have to make your own perfect plan, it's not a one size fits all thing).
As far as nutrition - Weight Watchers wins. Why? Because tracking what I eat is simply what I need to do to not be my natural glutinous self and to maintain my current figure. It keeps me in check and it's a whole lot easier (for me) to track a few points on line rather than add up hundreds of calories (thousands). The on line tools are awesome, you can eat anything within reason and in moderation, I like to cook, and Rob and I LOVE their recipes (I can visibly see his disappointment when I announce my next new eating plan, and his apparent joy when I mention Weight Watchers again). I can incorporate whole foods and cleaner eating. And come on, who wouldn't love "Hawaiian Curry Chicken with Pineapple Salsa topped with shredded toasted Coconut"?
But if this is going to be the lifestyle I choose to adopt long term, it has to be realistic. It has to be something I can stick with. I need to minimize the obsession and do away with the guilt, because frankly, I don't have room in my life for those things. SO, I've made a few concessions:
1) Anything I eat after 4 pm one or two days a week is not tracked. This allows me to eat dinner out, or attend a Sausage Fest (this Sunday) with no guilt. It's written into the rules. And there's a clause that says I can add a third day if I feel like it. Because I can apparently! I've been doing it and I haven't gained any weight, so....
2) Wine isn't tracked at all because, 1) I'm counting it as a supplement (Hellloooo? Resveratrol?), and 2) as Kristin put it today, it's already factored into my metabolism (or something like that. It made sense at the time). Basically, if I eat three healthy meals and stay within my points for food, I still lose .5 pound to a pound a week, whether I drink wine or not. But when I add the wine to my tracker and see my points go over my allotted number of points, I have so much guilt! Two glasses of wine equals 7 points! That's like a 4th meal! I feel like a total loser and it's a buzz kill. So I'm not doing it. Life is too short.
3) Of course, I can't be a hypocrite, so to off set the points that I don't track, I also don't track the points I earn for any work outs. That wouldn't be fair.
Other than that....I eat what I want, when I want, and it tends to be three meals a day - a protein shake for breakfast, or a big bacon and egg breakfast depending on what I feel like and how much time I have. Lunch is something like soup and salad, or soup and sandwich, or salad and sandwich, or whatever...lunch stuff (if I have Chinese, Vietnamese, or Thai food, I choose a protein and vegetable dish and pass on the rice and noodles). Dinner is whatever I feel like cooking and/or Rob bbq's. That's it, easy peasy.
For exercise, I stick to what I enjoy: hike, yoga, etc.
Some friends and I were having a beer (that I didn't track) after our pedicure the other evening and someone suggested that we get together every Wednesday morning at 6:30 am, at alternating locations (our homes or a near by park), and we'll take turns leading a yoga "class". The first one was at my house and I led. It was lots of fun. What a great idea! It's such a wonderful way to start the day and we get to try different sequences (gets me out of my rut), have our tea or coffee and chit chat before the craziness of the day.
So, I guess that's it. I tried out "The Perfect Plan" this week and I lost a pound. How about that? And guess what? I'll probably gain it back next week. But that's ok.
