Week One (Take Three!)

How many times have I said "Week One"? I've lost count. But the important thing is that we have the ability to start over, as many times as we feel the need to, and we can always say it's "Week One"!

This is Week One of my 2nd (or 3rd or 4th, but who's counting) attempt on Weight Watchers. But this time, I mean business. Maybe it has a little to do with that exercise I did, where I tried to get really (really) honest with myself (see my post "Living Large" which I didn't post on Facebook but might apply here).

I asked myself a few questions, sifted through some of my standard BS answers, and got to the truth, maybe not the whole truth, but some of it: I am a little lazy. I will always choose the (short-cut) path marked "Hey! Easier!". I am a bit gluttonous. What if I lose the weight and still feel dissatisfied with myself?
What will I do THEN? What if this desire to lose weight is all just a ruse to distract my fragile little ego from the fact that I will never feel good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough? I think I felt like I was all-three-of-those-enough before, and I'm pretty sure I still do, on most days, but I could be wrong. Perception is a tricky thing when you have the mind of a genious, in a hot little rig like mine (joking!). Ok, sort of joking. It's probably safe to assume that my self esteem is alive and well and I don't really need to worry about that one. Or am I over-compensating for low self esteem? Crap. Back to the drawing board.

Jokes aside, the biggest truth that I came up with is this: I am ultimately responsible for my own happiness and do have the ability to make changes that will further promote and maintain that happiness. Achieving balance is so critical to my happiness - spirit, mind, and body, that I can be confident that no matter what happens, I won't fall off that path. And that's really all I need. Losing weight is a small, but very important (to me) part of my balance and deserves my attention and effort. I've reset my goals to something that doesn't look quite so much like a 25 year old in a bikini, but more like a healthy 42 year old woman.

And NOW, the stats! My first week went well. My knee is on the mend. I actually got out and walked three times this week! I had a short first week on WW because I "officially" started Monday, but wanted Friday to be my weigh in day. Why? Well, to have time to undo any damage that might occur during weekends, of course!

But still, my first weigh in was today, after 4 days on the program, and my weight:

159.5

That's FIVE pounds! I am happy with that. Sure, it might be just water weight, and 158-159 is that "happy" weight my body pretty naturally settles into. But still. It's five pounds and I'm on my way!