How Do I Love Thee? I'll Have To Think About It.

At a recent get together with some of my girlfriends, the topic of running came up. A few of us are running, a few of us are not. One would think that the runners would be raving about the benefits of running, trying to convince the non-runners that it’s the best thing ever! But instead we both just sort of scratched our heads and commiserated about how hard it is. I tried, unsuccessfully, to stumble my way through some sort of coherent list of reasons why I keep doing the thing that causes me pain, frustration, constant challenges, is hard, is uncomfortable, is…is….everything unpleasant about “exercise”. I just couldn’t seem to make any sense of it, in 10 words or less. I read an article today that suggested we all (runners) write down our reasons for running. First, because there are as many reasons as there are runners. Second, because the reasons we discover may surprise us.

I have to admit, running has become quite a passion. It's something I've always wanted to do but didn't really think I was any good at it. I ran once in high school...in Keds. I got shin splints and vowed I would never do that again. Then in my 20's I started running again, down the same creek trail I run down today! But the smoking and partying sort of got in the way. I never made it much past a mile or two. And here I am again (I have been known to beat a dead horse). This time I'm trying harder to do it "right", whatever that means. I feel like I should honor this strange, seemingly doomed passion and at least try to sort out my thoughts on the subject; try to crystallize, for myself and anyone else who may be interested, “Why I Run”, and maybe encourage others to make their own list of “why” they do something…anything. It's a pretty thought provoking and enlightening exercise!

But where would I even start?

Then this morning, on my leisurely walk home from the coffee shop after my 3 mile run, I saw an old man walking a cat down the creek trail and I understood (more on this later).

Physically, I have what I consider to be “inadequate lung capacity” (thank you, years of smoking), skinny calves/weak shins (a curse of the "long of leg"?) which forced me to take about 3 months to build up to running my first mile. I’ve never been naturally athletic. At all. Psychologically, I’m not the most disciplined person. I’m a bit lazy, and not super motivated by much – more Type B than Type A.

So from the most basic physical and psychological standpoint – running has helped me to overcome some physical shortcomings, improving both my cardiovascular and musculoskeletal systems. It is still hard. I still struggle a bit through tight shins at the beginning of every run and my lungs constantly remind me of my years of smoking, but both of these things have improved. These are probably just the tip of the iceberg as far as physical improvements to my health, but I'm no expert. There are also some improvements in the Psychological arena. I believe running has improved my discipline, thus improving my motivation, and my energy levels. So there’s that. But wait, there’s more!

Because of the challenges that running offers, there are also feelings of great accomplishment. I increase my distance and my speed, sometimes taking several steps backward and having to start over again (due to illness, injury, etc.). But I persevere because running has taught me that I can, and should, persevere. There are so many “you can’t”, “you’ll never”, “you won’t” in our lives. But running…This, I can. This, I am. This, I will.

The interesting thing about running accomplishments is that it doesn't matter the milestone. The feeling is the same.  After taking an inordinate amount of time to build up to running my first solid mile several years ago, I cried with pure joy. Right there on the sidewalk. For running one mile. I feel the same when I finish a 5K or a 10K or a Half Marathon. Each accomplishment stands on its own. How about that?

When we launch ourselves on a voyage of self-discovery and improvement, do we simply improve ourselves in the areas that are the easiest and will offer the least amount of difficulty and resistance? Or do we dig deep, find the things that are the most difficult and challenging, and start there? For me, I think the latter is true. Self-improvement should naturally be difficult, whether it’s spiritual, emotional or physical. It’s hard and that’s ok. Otherwise we would all be “improved” without having to do anything! Wouldn’t that be interesting?

Not everyone should run. But I think everyone could benefit from finding something that challenges them, and then do it, repeatedly. Especially, if it is something you will never master. Think about that for a second. I bet there is something you are already doing that falls into that category. Why do you do it?

There are also many, more obvious reasons why I run. I am health conscious. It’s a great way to get a work out in when you don’t have a ton of time. No special equipment needed. I love the outdoors! I love to eat. A lot. I love getting to know my neighborhood in this way. I love having my own coffee shop. I get to listen to music. Sometimes I start the run with the intention of thinking through some issue or another, but at the end of the run, I realize I forgot to think at all! Except to think of my breath. So I suppose it's a type of meditation. I get to see old men walking their cats down the creek trail as I enjoy my coffee and my endorphin rush on a crisp sunny morning. Or I get to see a flock of geese adopt an ambitious husband and wife duck couple into their flock. For whatever reason, the endorphins, the challenge, the health benefits, the joy of being outdoors,  the fresh air, whatever...I see things with greater joy and excitement. Even the mundane is spectacular. And I love to eat (did I say that already!?)