RIP Sparky, and My Confessional

I've gone a whole week with no grains or dairy except for:

Three Wheat Thins at 2am Sunday morning (remember I mentioned a little soiree I was planning?). We were about ready to go to bed at a reasonable hour but then I discovered that our beloved bearded dragon, Sparky, had passed. I was crushed. So we had to spend the next several hours toasting her amazingly uneventful life, crying and hugging, and more toasting. Well... I was the only one crying. I really liked that dumb old lizard. Note to self: Overdoing it on the alcohol while not consuming grains is a very bad idea. And if you DO drink too much, three wheat thins are not going to save you. I still have a headache.

I also had a hand full of Ruffles potato chips on Sunday because I felt sorry for myself.

The one dairy I allow is a little half and half in my coffee each morning - I think it would be ridiculously cruel to give that up, so I won't.

But other than that...no grains or dairy! And other than the headache, I feel fabulous!

I really wish I could upload photos (I need to figure out why I can't!), because I would love to share photos of some of the dishes I've been making!

Saturday night's chicken wings and curried crispy sweet potato chips ("battered" in almond flour!) were awesome!

We had my mom, my nephew and sister in law over for dinner last night and the braised short ribs served over candied carrots with mashed faux-tatoes were a hit!

I'll see if I can fix the photo uploading issue. Meanwhile, I'm going to take another aspirin and get ready for work!

5 Days, I'm Winning!

I made it 5 days with no grains and no dairy! I shouldn't say I "made it", because that implies it was difficult. It wasn't. I haven't slept so well, heartburn free, in a long time. I also don't crave or miss anything. Maybe I really am "something" sensitive. Not sure what though, since I cut out a lot of food all at once. But it feels good. I have lots of energy and it's constant instead of the usual  highs and lows.

I'm also 5 pounds down, which is a nice bonus!

Rob told me that he can sense a change in my motivation this time, like the time I really quit smoking for good. That's a good sign. I'm hopeful! It doesn't hurt that I ordered an exorbitantly expensive saddle a size smaller than I should have. It's not like buying a pair of jeans that you're sure you'll get into "in a week or two" and then letting them sit in your closet.

My favorite food finds this week were a shrimp stuffed avocado (I ate an ENTIRE avocado smothered with chilled cooked shrimp and onion, drizzled with a little olive oil and red wine vinegar), and braised swiss chard in onion and apple juice, tossed with apple cider vinegar, sea salt and pine nuts. The chard was a great side dish to the Bobotie which is a favorite WW South African meat pie recipe. We both loved it!

Now it's the weekend and I've got a little entertaining to do! I'll see how I do with the no grain/dairy thing over the weekend and report back Monday! The Paleo plan is supposed to be 85/15, so I've got some wiggle room anyway.


Saturday night, I'm making chicken wings with aioli dipping sauce and crunchy curried sweet potato chips for a girl's get-together. Sunday night, we'll be having balsamic braised short ribs, candied carrots and mashed faux-tatoes (cauliflower) for a small dinner party I'm hosting.
News flash!

Lard is back!! (click here for an interesting article!)

My goal is to be a total lard-ass in 2013. And I mean that in a good way!

An Eater's Manifesto, and Other Stuff

I love Michael Pollan, and his book "In Defense of Food, An Eater's Manifesto" is one of my favorites. This past weekend made me want to revisit the book and get back into my cleaner, more responsible, eating habits.

I'm sort of doing the Paleo Diet now, but it really just feels like the lifestyle I enjoyed for a while a year or so ago before getting lazy and slipping back into old habits. Visiting the Butler ranch and gathering cows in the fresh air must have done something to me.

It's not going to be easy, which is probably why I got lazy after we moved. I had been going to a local meat market, a farmer's market and some specialty stores in Pleasanton to do all of our food shopping. It would take an entire half of a day to procure all the food we would need for the week. It was also slightly more expensive, required a lot more planning, and was challenging at times. But I remember the pay off....oh yes, I want that pay off! Now that my horse is just minutes from Pleasanton, I find myself shopping there anyway so..... (my current town just doesn't have the good food resources).

Another benefit; not only is it healthier, it's also more in line with my Buddhist values. I admit it, I'm a crappy Buddhist. I do eat meat. I'm an omnivore, I can't help it. But that's OK. You don't have to be a vegetarian to be a Buddhist. But you should try to have a more intimate relationship with your food. Know it, honor it. Hunt for it yourself if you can (which I can't. Unless I can count the endless research and driving around to specialty produce and meat markets, and asking the poor butcher a ton of questions, as "hunting"). Ok, yes I hunt for my food.

Now, the "other stuff":

I will be changing the name of my blog. I'm not exactly a "fitwife". I'm not in training for a marathon anymore. I'm not exercise or fitness obsessed, or "losing weight" obsessed (not to be confused with "diet obsessed" which I will always be because food is a passion; the study of it, the procuring of it, the preparing and cooking of it, the eating of it, you name it!).

Any ideas....?

Oh...one more thing. While I may not be "losing weight" obsessed, I did a bad thing. I ordered my custom saddle's seat a 1/2" smaller than the saddle maker recommended for my current "size". That was a fun conversation to have with an old cowboy!

Me: "Sooooo....a 15" seat now. I guess I should tell you that by the time the saddle is made, I will be at least 10-15 pounds lighter. I mean it. This is my year!"
Ron: Speechless, followed by laughter "You're gonna do what now?"
Me: "Yes, I've been meaning to lose the weight I gained when I quit smoking. For like 7 years now. But I'm really gonna do it this time."
Ron: "Ok, well, let's see. Um...how many pounds did you say?"
Me: "Maybe 20. But probably 10-15 for sure. Let's say 10, at a minimum."
Ron: "Well..huh...you'd be swimming in this seat if you lost 20...uh...10 or 15...hmmmm."
Me: "So, maybe just a 1/2" smaller since most likely it will be closer to 10 or 15 pounds? Would a 1/2" smaller be too small if I only lost 10 pounds?"
Ron: "Uhhhh...hmmmmm....well....uh....You know...."

And then we were treated to a very entertaining story about oatmeal.

Some habits die harder than others! But I have a year or so.....

Full Circle

In memory of #431

This was a weekend of many "firsts"; first time I trailered my horse several hours into the Sierra Nevada foothills, first time I drove through the central valley's infamous tulle fog, first time I met with a custom saddle maker to get my horse "fitted" for a saddle, first time I drove the trailer in the dark, in the rain, on windy roads, in cow country. First time I got to gather cows (more on that later!), and I loved it all.

I was looking for a saddle maker and Ron Butler came highly recommended. Especially because I want a classic "Visalia" style saddle, which is what the old California Vaqueros rode. I just love the simple, elegant style, the utilitarian quality, the beautiful craftsmanship and artistry...I can't explain how I feel when I look at them in old catalogs or if I happen to see one "live". They're just beautful. And it's what I want. I spoke to several saddle makers on the phone and through email and Ron (who happened to be the only one without email, a website, or advertising of any kind) was "the one". Now, I just had to get my horse up there for a fitting and to meet with him!

I've hosted a couple of horsemanship clinics and have had the pleasure of getting to know Stephanie, who lives in Jamestown, which happens to be the same town where Ron lives, so I thought I'd make a weekend of it! I needed a sidekick for this trip, and my friend Meghan (we board our horses at the same ranch), was the perfect road trip buddy (she knows Stephanie from the clinics too, crashed in her trailer at one, long story, won't tell it here!). We met at the ranch early Saturday morning, loaded my horse, threw our bags in the truck, and off we went! Our plan was to meet Stephanie at Ron's place, she would bring two horses, one for Meghan to ride, and we might get a trail ride in since the Butler ranch covers 1200 or so acres.

As we climbed into the foothills east of Manteca, we couldn't help but admire the natural beauty (between patches of fog), and it just kept getting better and better! We arrived at Ron Butler's ranch at about noon. Did I mention he's a master saddle maker and a cattle rancher? He and his son-in-law Russ were out gathering the cows, Stephanie wasn't there yet, so Meghan and I had the opportunity to meet and visit with his wife, daughter and grand kids, and got a tour of his shop.

Ron and Russ rode in not too long after we arrived, got the cows sorted and then came over to say hello. We walked over to his shop and for the next few hours we were treated to the most entertaining saddle education imaginable! My horse was a good sport, napping just outside the workshop door while we chatted and tried numerous saddle trees on her back (the tree is the "skeleton" of the saddle).

Not only is Ron a great saddle maker and artist, hand tooling each saddle with a variety of custom patterns including floral, acorn, and leaf, he is a story teller extraordinaire!  It seemed as if each story contained a hidden gem of cowboy wisdom, a funny anecdote, historical information, some local legend, and he even shared his secrets to staying slim (I'm not telling, but I'm trying it!).

The saddle itself will take a few months to make, but I'm on a waiting list so it will be about 1 1/2 to 2 years before I actually get my saddle. Ron loves the old Visalia style of saddle and not too many people are ordeirng them these days. I'm happy that it's a saddle he will enjoy making and other than the basic specs, I've given him full creative license. I'm married to an artist so I understand that if you want the best possible work, you have to let the master be inspired!

We realized it was getting a little late, and our prospects for riding were fading, but the visit was so enjoyable, we didn't mind. It was getting chilly, Stephanie had a pot roast in the crock pot, so we decided to load the horses and head back to her house. We were mid-way through our goodbyes when Russ pulled Ron aside to let him know that he had spotted the missing wild heifer way up on a hill. They quietly debated if there was enough day light to attempt to go bring her in, the rain would be coming soon. Stephanie mentioned that our horse's were already saddled and we'd be happy to help. They knew we had been hoping to do some riding, so that seemed to help make up Ron's mind, and off we rode! I just couldn't believe my luck.

This is an every day occurrence for a cattle rancher, but the three of us understood the honor it was to be invited to ride out on a special gathering mission. We were there to help, not get in the way. It was serious business, but we couldn't stop smiling!

We rode out and up. Up, up, up the hill. I was trying to use telepathy to tell my horse that this was serious, it's what she was made for, pay attention! But I guess she only heard "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!!" because she was a little "exuberant". She did ok though. She always kept one hoof on the ground when she decided it was all too much and had to "express herself" with the most sorry excuse for a bucking fit ever.

Ron is a great hand and gave me some tips. Every ride is an opportunity for training and even he had to get his horse's "head back" a little bit with some on the trail schooling (although I suspect he was doing this more for my benefit as my horse seemed to be the only one losing her head). They just get excited sometimes, this was all new for both of us. Maddie was more worried about where the other horses were than she was about the cows. But that's ok.

We found the heifer and she had a surprise! She had been hiding a calf. There were also a handful of other cows hanging out with her. We brought them all down and Maddie and I got to work the gate after a few escaped through the other end of the corral. We watched as all the cows were sorted into their appropriate pens, then we all filed out.

By this time it had gotten really cold and was almost dark. We said our good byes, thanked them for the afternoon and their hospitality and were on our way.

I couldn't help but think about one of my first blog entries from a few years ago. I was writing about a cow (a particular cow I met while hiking on the Pleasanton Ridge), wondering how it all worked, wanting to understand where my food came from and be more involved and responsible with my choices, wanting to support local ranchers. I had no idea at the time that one day soon I would be riding with one! It truly felt as I had come full circle.

Since I've gotten a horse, an entire world has opened up to me. I've met so many interesting people, have had so many wonderful experiences, and I'm just getting started. I've been invited to spend several days on another friend's cattle ranch come Spring. Better practice my roping....!

For some reason I can't post pictures, but here is the link to my Facebook album:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?set=a.4719189251618.2177422.1051137441&type=1

And Now For Something Different!

I decided to try my hand at a little "cowboy poetry". If you don't know what that is, I'm afraid I can't help you. I don't really know either. From what I can gather, it's a very simplistic style of poetry (oh good, my favorite!), very "rhyme-y" since cowboys were largely illiterate and the rhymes helped them remember the stories, anecdotes, etc.

Anyway - I call this:

 "Ode to my Mare"

A stocky mare, buckskin or bay
With lots of heart, who will try for me

A Quarter Horse type, for all the ranchin’ I’d do

Is what I wanted, ‘til I saw you

A hardscrabble grade mare of no stock to one’s knowing

All spotted and painted with too much white showing

As I headed down the hill toward your pasture, I sighed

A waste of my time was this scrawny ride

I resigned to come closer to take a good look

Slowly lifted your fly mask as my hands shook

For all the physical traits I was hoping to see

I saw in your heart how you’d try for me

The End

Back The F&%$ OFF!!

Just kidding. Or practicing! No....kidding.

I'm not a fighter. Unless we're talking "Dance Off!", in which case I WILL....kick....your....ass.

But lookie here at my Christmas present from Santa Rob!

It's a Boker Trapperliner with a red bone handle. It has a cool one handed opening feature and all sorts of other details that sounded necessary and awesome. It's a must have for any cowgirl out on the trail. Not for protection so much (I'm afraid I might do more damage to myself than a would-be assailant), but to get out of potential sticky (stuck?) sitcheeashuns (that's 'Cowboy' for "situations"). It cuts through leather, rope, whatever we might get hung up on. Hopefully I won't have to use it, but I better practice cutting stuff just in case!

It's all part of the "Cowgirl Essentials" collection that I'm amassing for my complete Cowgirl transformation. There's still some other things I need. To quote Cowgirl Red (blogger), a "spanks/chaps combo" would be delightful! I could also use some jeans that come up higher than my belly button but don't look like mom jeans or the godawful armpit waisted Wranglers that the FFA kids in high school used to wear, and are still being manufactured I have noticed. Some cows would be good too I suppose.

This is what I have to work with. A shamefully muddy horse.

Don't let her crestfallen look fool you. She is extremely proud of her mud jacket. She can blend in with her surroundings and she smells like crap. No predator animals will pay her any mind. 

I made the decision not to blanket my horse after doing a lot of research. She has shelter she can go into, we're in California, not Nebraska, horses can self-regulate their body temperature and blanketing them can impede their natural abilities, etc. etc.  The down side is that I have a ridiculously dirty horse. But that's ok (eye roll, long suffering sigh). She deserves to be a horse.

Hey, remember how I was complaining about Chia seeds? Well, I found a way to eat them after all! Actually, I do this for my husband. I'm not much of an "energy bar" person, but Rob eats a couple of those overly processed, sugar filled, protein bars a day. So this is his new alternative!

They are raw, vegan, and pretty tasty! Here is how you make them:

Combine:
3/4 Cup Old Fashioned Quaker Oats
2 Oz Chia Seeds (this is the Chia seed part!!!)
1 Oz Sesame Seeds
1/3 Cup shredded sweetened coconut
1/3 Cup Peanut Butter
1/4 Cup Flax seed Meal
1 Tbl Coconut oil
1 Tbl Agave nectar

Smush it all up, press it into a baking dish lined with plastic wrap, cover with plastic wrap and smush it down even, then put it in the freezer for two hours. Remove from freezer, flip it out of the baking dish and onto a cutting board and cut it into squares. It's supposed to make 12 servings, but they would be the size of caramel chews, so I say more like 8 servings. Enjoy!

I started Weight Watchers again this week because I love to cook and their recipes are the BOMB. Seriously, the best recipes I've made. I'm down 1.5 pounds since Sunday and I think...I KNOW...that if I can just stick with it, I will finally lose those 20 pounds that crept up on me after I quit smoking and met the love of my life! This is my year....I can feel it. : )

Happy 12/12/12!

It is a glorious day. I can fit into my fat jeans again! I actually stole that line from a friend. I love it! Let's celebrate!

Chia Seeds don't work. Well, they might if I actually ate them, but I found them to be a bit...uh...crunchy and distracting. I probably just didn't eat enough of them. Think of taking a mouthful of sugar to cure hiccups (have you tried that?) or a handful of peanuts when your mouth is already dry. That's what it's like to eat them. I even mixed them in with my yogurt and cereal. There are only so many foods you can mix them into/add them on top of. I'm just not committed enough to risk my home made Mac 'n Cheese tonight by adding them as a topping in lieu of bread crumbs!

Anyway, I'm in one of those moods where I have a love/hate relationship with my body. My Neanderthal brain is trying to high five me for setting myself up to survive the winter and attract my mate with my ample and obvious "health". I don't hate it. I feel like I'm supposed to hate being this size, but I don't want to.

My modern brain is another story! It's not being very helpful, in fact it's being downright hurtful.

You wouldn't believe some of the things I catch myself saying to myself when I pay attention (I can only imagine what I say to myself when I'm NOT paying attention!). I'm beginning to suspect some trickery and high jinks. I really wish I knew where those feelings of anger, disgust, and inadequacy stem from. I really like Neanderthal brain. Much nicer!
So let me think on that for a while....

My horse doesn't care! : )

Speaking of my horse (really smooth transition, I know) I sure picked a challenging one! She's emotional and sensitive, and very good at expressing herself (and because she's a horse, she really doesn't care if it hurts my feelings). When I show up, halter in hand, she turns and walks the other way a few steps (at least she only goes a few steps). But if we're going out on a trail ride, I swear it looks like she's watching me hitch up the trailer and she waits for me in her stall (no walking away!). It's weird. FYI - horses don't generally like trailer rides like dogs like car rides, and they don't like to be away from their familiar surroundings and horse/herd friends either.

When I try to work her in the arena, we don't really see eye to eye a lot of the time. She has moments of brilliance, which give me hope, followed by days of complete sullenness that leave me frustrated. On days that are more mediocre, she cooperates somewhat (because I've worn her down, probably!) but she's got one eye on the gate and tries to hurry through our schooling session so that it will be over.

I can't really blame her. She's had 5 owners in the past 7 years, not by any fault of her own. She's not a bad horse, not a problem horse. She's had good, kind owners. I don't know of any abuse in her past. She just hasn't had a whole lot of consistency. We're coming along, but horse time is much slower than human time. As much as I appreciate the advice and help of well meaning horse friends, it really is our own journey to travel together. We'll figure things out. I have no problem taking the long and hard way. I don't know when we'll have that "magical bond" that happens between horse and rider. I see a glimmer from time to time....like when she comes to me while I clean her stall just to say hello and get a scratch (I have to be careful not to love on her too much or she freaks out and goes away!), or when we're out on the trail, just the two of us, and I can feel her relax underneath me and we both seem to move into the same, slow, time-zone for a while.

I had my last horse for 25 years, and I'm pretty sure we didn't have that bond after just one year, maybe not even after 10! I can't tell you when it happened. Maybe it was the day she died and she tried to stay with me because I was so sad. It's different with every horse and human. I have a feeling Maddie is going to really make me work for it, which is just fine with me. I'm here to stay, Baby Girl!